I has a penis

[flackbait]

4)If hooked up to radio wire it can be used as an impromptu antenna

[Dennis]

A man with no arms can still hitch hike, if he's excited about where he's going.

[Menard]

6) Walked into an office, but no place to hang your jacket? Thinking about that secretary just the right way will provide a place to hang it. Now that's a well hung jacket.

[Allhallowsday]

Your new squeeze can't drive stick?  Teach your lover how to shift gears safely.

[Shadow]

8) Now you can count to 21 without using your fingers or toes twice.

[Menard]

9) Serves as a portable ringtoss game for those times when just a little extra entertainment needs to be added to the event.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Well, I didn't read back to see if this was listed.  But see the last event listed:
http://voodoodoughnut.com/events.html

My god, I hope they dont recycle the donuts.
-Ed

[Psycho Circus]

handy extra pool cue 

[Patient7]

Great way to get out of jury duty.

[JJ80]

A way of safely completing a botched pole vault.

[Menard]

Put a glow-in-the-dark condom on it, and you can safely guide a plane in for a night landing.

[Psycho Circus]

wrap some carpet round it and scare your friends into thinking it's a fake rat.....Oh hours of fun!