Gross joke thread?

[Patient7]

That joke of ghouck's does not disappoint.

[CheezeFlixz]

WARNING GROSS RUDE JOKE! EXPLETIVES ALTERED.


Q: How do you make a woman scream twice?


A: F*** her up the a** and wipe your d*** in the curtains.


You were warned.

[Dave M]

What do you do when an elephant comes in your window?









(This one only really works if the person you're telling it to dosen't know ahead of time that it's gross. They should be under the impression that it's a regular elephant joke)










Swim for your life!

[Mr. DS]

What has four wheels and flies?

A dead old lady in a wheelchair

[ghouck]

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door?

A. Matt

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

A. Art

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

A. Bob

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pot of boiling water?

A. Stu

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in a compost pile?

A. Pete

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox?

A. Bill

[Patient7]

What do you do when an elephant comes in your window?









(This one only really works if the person you're telling it to dosen't know ahead of time that it's gross. They should be under the impression that it's a regular elephant joke)










Swim for your life!

major karma

[Mr. DS]

How do you find a rat hole?

Lift it's tail.

[indianasmith]

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs hanging on a fence?

Barb.

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs once a month?

Flo.

[Mr. DS]

What do you call a Mexican girl with no legs.

Consuelo (PM me if you don't get it and don't mind dirty words referring to female genitalia)

[ghouck]

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs hanging on a fence?

Barb.

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs once a month?

Flo.

Q. What do you call a woman with one leg  shorter than the other?

A. Eilene.

Q. What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg shorter than the other?

A. Irene.

[AndyC]

Why do women have legs?

So they don't leave a trail like a slug.

[Psycho Circus]

A little boy is crying out in Wal-Mart.

A security guard comes over and says "Are you lost, shall we find your mommy?"

"Yes" The little sobbing boy replies. 

"Ok, what's your mommy like?"

The little boy looks up and says "Big cocks and Bacardi Breezers"

[ghouck]

Q. Why did cavemen drag theirwomen by thehair?

A. Because if they dragged them by their ankles, their beaver collected gravel.

[AndyC]

Did you hear about the old man who streaked through a flower show?

He won first prize for his dried arrangement.

[indianasmith]

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.