Things You Probably Won't Hear At Inaugurations

[Mr. DS]

After President Obama took the oath of office this week, I figured it may be interesting to start a list of things you probably won't hear at inaugurations.  I'll start...

Loud Speaker Announcer:  "Everybody please rise for the singing of 'America The Beautiful' by the legendary Tay Zonday."

President:  "So in the wise words of George W. Bush..."

Annoucer For The Television Audience:  "We realize no one is going to want to watch numerous government staff walking to their seats so please enjoy this video of 'Girls Gone Wild' until the president elect is ready to take the oath." 

[Allhallowsday]

what's an "ignaguration"? 

[meQal]

President ending their inaugural address- "So in closing, lets all get liquored up and hunt."

News Announcer covering the inaugural parade- "And coverage of this parade is brought to you by Hooters."

Finally, "Ladies and Gentlemen, here to deliver the Inaugural Prayer, Mr. Ozzy Osborne."

[Mr. DS]

what's an "ignaguration"? 

Its a rare condition due to a lack of using a spell checker...   Oh well...the word sucks to spell anyhow...

[LilCerberus]

"President of the United States, I've got all kinds of staff & military personnel telling me everything there is to know about everything, and I can't get any one of these egg-headed twerps to tell whether this means we're having a super-auguration, or an anti-auguration!... Say, does that Marine Corpse band there do requests? I'm kinda' in the mood for Hey Joe."

[Mr. DS]

President:  "Let me hear you say 'ooooooowwwwww'...
Crowd:  "owwwwwww"
President:  "Let me hear you say 'yeaaaaaah'..."
Crowd: "yeaaaaaaaaah"
President:  "YEAH YEAH"
Crowd: "YEAH YEAH"
President:  "Now everbody screeeeeeeam!"
Crowd:  "Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!!!"

[meQal]

"Ladies and gentlemen, now for the swearing in of President Elect Larry Flynt."

[Mr. DS]

"Gentlemen get your dollars ready for the lovely Roxy and Trixy.  Make sure you tip the lovey ladies up there, make sure you get yourself a personal dance from the girls leaving the stage right now."

[LilCerberus]

"People of Earth, your attention! I am not a role model! I am not paid to be a role model!..."

"Uh, no Mr President, being sworn in doesn't mean you need to throw in a few swear words."

[Rev. Powell]

"Didja ever notice that the Undersecretary of State for European Affairs dances like this [President does clumsy dance], while the Underscretary of State for African Affairs dances like this [President does funky dance]?"

[Mr. DS]

President:  "And as part of my economic plan...hold on a minute this just in.  Would the owner of a silver honda license plate 584885 please report to your car...your lights are on." 

[meQal]

News Announcer- "And one of the many balls that the President and First Lady will be attending tonight is the Pimps and Hos ball."

[Mr. DS]

News Announcer- "And one of the many balls that the President and First Lady will be attending tonight is the Pimps and Hos ball."

Along those lines...

News Announcer (in a serious tone):  "The president and his homies are in da hiz-house.  All you hatas out dere better be recognizin'."

[sideorderofninjas]

With Wilford Brimley as Secretary of Fiber, a more regular economy is guaranteed...

[AndyC]

News Announcer (in a serious tone):  "The president and his homies are in da hiz-house.  All you hatas out dere better be recognizin'."

I was imagining a clip of the Obamas entering the White House to the Jeffersons theme.