Advice Thread For Parents

trekgeezer · March 09, 2009, 01:53:43 PM

Treat kids with respect and they will respect you back. Keep in mind that respect doesn't mean they are afraid of you, but they do need to know who's in charge. Make sure they know you are as human as they are and you can screw up too.

One of the greatest joys of my life were those supper conversations with my kids when they were 3 and 4. My daughter could make up stories that would have my wife and I almost rolling on the floor.

Quote from: The DarkSider on March 05, 2009, 07:33:01 PM
My son just had his third birthday over the weekend and it got me to thinking of how much I've learned about kids in the past few years. I was pretty much a blank slate on the subject three years ago and only wished someone had told me a few things I didn't know. We are expecting our second in May and quite frankly, I'm well trained thanks to my son.

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You're not a real parent until the second one arrives. As Bill Cosby said, if you only have one child and you come home and something's broke, you know who did it.

ghouck · March 09, 2009, 02:06:35 PM

QuoteYou're not a real parent until the second one arrives. As Bill Cosby said, if you only have one child and you come home and something's broke, you know who did it.

Actually, I've found that to be a load of BS. Only children are WAY more independent than kids with siblings, it's way harder to reign in an independent kid than is is to motivate a more dependent kid. Also parents of multiple kids have the luxury of having one kids that tell them something is going on they would have otherwise not known by tattling.

BTM · March 10, 2009, 08:15:36 AM

I'm not a parent, but one piece of advice I've heard is don't buy the toys that make noise! Cause you're kids, especially the younger ones, will make the noise, over and over and over again! :)

AndyC · March 10, 2009, 09:54:52 AM

Quote from: BTM on March 10, 2009, 08:15:36 AM
I'm not a parent, but one piece of advice I've heard is don't buy the toys that make noise! Cause you're kids, especially the younger ones, will make the noise, over and over and over again! :)

That's true. Another reason is that the electronic, noisemaking, light-flashing, moving toys put a limit on the imagination that goes into playing with them. Give a kid a toy that doesn't do everything for them, and they'll decide what it sounds like and how it moves, and they'll make the noises themselves. We forget that play is not just fun, but also an important part of learning. Kids learn less from a toy that makes most of the choices for them.

And fostering a healthy attention span is another reason to avoid the toys that overstimulate with a lot of flashing lights and noise. We wonder why kids today seem so easily bored, but the stores are full of toys that assault their senses from birth and do most of the playing for them. Pushing a button and getting a reward is for lab rats, not children.

CheezeFlixz · March 10, 2009, 10:46:00 AM

Quote from: BTM on March 10, 2009, 08:15:36 AM
I'm not a parent, but one piece of advice I've heard is don't buy the toys that make noise! Cause you're kids, especially the younger ones, will make the noise, over and over and over again! :)

Anytime someone bought a toy that made noise for my kids, I made them leave it at their house for them to play with there. Buy nothing that makes noise or needs batteries.

I do not allow computers or TV's in bedrooms, and I don't allow them to be positioned to were I can't see what's going on. Know what your kids are doing, who there are talking to and what they are looking at ... check their history and if they erase the history take the computer away. You're the parent and the Bill of Rights stops at the front door.

meQal · March 10, 2009, 10:59:08 AM

Quote from: AndyC on March 10, 2009, 09:54:52 AM
...Another reason is that the electronic, noisemaking, light-flashing, moving toys put a limit on the imagination that goes into playing with them. Give a kid a toy that doesn't do everything for them, and they'll decide what it sounds like and how it moves, and they'll make the noises themselves. We forget that play is not just fun, but also an important part of learning. Kids learn less from a toy that makes most of the choices for them.

And fostering a healthy attention span is another reason to avoid the toys that overstimulate with a lot of flashing lights and noise. We wonder why kids today seem so easily bored, but the stores are full of toys that assault their senses from birth and do most of the playing for them. Pushing a button and getting a reward is for lab rats, not children.

I have to disagree with you on that. My older two children had toys which made noise, had flashing lights, and such. Both have long attention spans and vivid imaginations. My youngest however had a fear of toys which did such things so we always bought her toys which made no noise or had lights. She has a short attention span and bores easily. Her imagination is just a strong as her older two sisters however.
So I don't think it's flashing, noisy toys that do this. I think it has to do with age, genetics, enviroment, and a child's intellect.

Sister Grace · March 10, 2009, 11:09:03 AM

Trust your kid's instincts...

Hammock Rider · March 10, 2009, 11:12:54 AM

Quote from: The DarkSider on March 05, 2009, 07:33:01 PM
Rule #1 Don't buy anything white. That include clothes, carpets, furniture, bed sets, towels, etc. They will only get stained with some kind of loud color, usually juice or in worst cases, poop.

Good one. I'd like to add pets to that list. No white ones, and they should be short haired.

Mr. DS · March 10, 2009, 11:26:31 AM

Quote from: BTM on March 10, 2009, 08:15:36 AM
I'm not a parent, but one piece of advice I've heard is don't buy the toys that make noise! Cause you're kids, especially the younger ones, will make the noise, over and over and over again! :)

Excellent point, thanks for bringing it up. The only good news about these toys are the batteries running out quick.

AndyC · March 10, 2009, 02:33:43 PM

Quote from: The DarkSider on March 10, 2009, 11:26:31 AM
Excellent point, thanks for bringing it up. The only good news about these toys are the batteries running out quick.

But the worst ones, the sound chips in things that really don't need them, use batteries so slowly. And the batteries are sealed inside. And there's no off switch. What sadist makes these things? Actually, the real sadist is my mother-in-law, who gets her jollies sending them to our house.

My daughter had a pop-up book that played Pop Goes the Weasel, and I swear the thing was possessed. Step a little too close to it, make a sound near it, and it would start to play. It was driving us crazy long after the novelty had worn off for her. So, one night after bedtime, I performed a little procedure on the book, slitting open the binding, cutting the wires to the button and regluing it good as new. Press the button, nothing happens. Still works perfectly well as a book. Great. My daughter noticed it the next day, and accepted the story that the batteries had finally run down. Two days later, I walked past the book and it started to play, and continued to do so as before, even though the button no longer worked. Possessed, I tell you. The book vanished without a trace shortly after that. Either my wife took her own measures, or it finally returned to the evil dimension from whence it came.

BTM · March 12, 2009, 10:34:33 PM

Another piece of IMPORTANT advice (and I'm going to turn the thread to serious territory, hope no one minds), but all kids, ESPECIALLY younger ones, need to be told that their bodies belong to them, and NO ONE (not a parent, an adult, not a sibling, not a teacher, no one) should be touching them in places or ways that make them feel uncomfortable. So many parents don't want to talk about that stuff for fear of being embarrassed or thinking their kids are "too young" to learn about such things, hey, they're never too young to learn about basic body respect.

Know a lot of people who, as kids, had adults doing things to them they felt weren't right, but they never told anyone for fear that they would be in trouble as well. And all you crazy parents who think that just warning your kids not to talk to strangers will keep them safe, keep in mind 90% of the time it's people the kid KNOWS you have to worry about the most.

I could say more on the subject, but I don't want to ramble..

BTM · March 12, 2009, 10:37:03 PM

Oh, and speaking of kids, here's a good one...

(NSFW BTW)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPOP5sQ0vcI

HappyGilmore · March 14, 2009, 07:20:00 PM

Quote from: The DarkSider on March 05, 2009, 08:44:45 PM
Watch what your kid watches no matter how annoying. Try to get in as much educational stuff as you can. However, let them have a Tom and Jerry cartoon once and awhile.

Read to them every night and get them involved with the book. Ask "whats that" and point to pics in the book.

Kids go in phases with certain things. My son had a throwing up thing going on every night for two weeks. By the time he went for testing on it, he was well over it.

I'm all for 'educational', but some of the things they have on are just mind numbingly, bad. Then again, I don't personally have a kid yet, but have a lot of cousins that are younger, and friends of mine have had kids at the age of 20/21.