B-Movie Night - Mixed Results

[AndyC]

Well, the B-movie night at the church did not go quite as planned, but there was at least one pleasant surprise.

The first problem was that the older youth group kids didn't come. We got a bunch of kids in grade 7 and 8. They were not quite old enough to grasp the idea of laughing at something that was bad. I think a lot of the stuff went over their heads. We had one girl of high school age, who understood the point of the evening, but she left on account of the others.

The other problem was that you never saw a bigger bunch of spoiled brats in your life. Lori has been working with kids for years, and she says she's never seen such a lack of respect. I'm inclined to agree. Where I come from, the kids who go to youth group at church are the good students, the boy scouts, the nice kids. I think Lori had the same experience. This is a city church, and we both come from a small-town background.

These were kids who have never been made to try a new thing, who have never had to do anything they didn't think they'd like. Worse still, there was one kid, a poster boy for Ritalin, who spent the whole time insulting the other kids, talking back to us, yelling, swearing and b***hing about everything. The first thing he does is tell us the whole idea is stupid, and that we should rent Spider Man. This, of course, set some of the other kids off.

I figured I should make the first movie an easy one, so I showed Plan 9. We even got them some paper plates, and tried to give them some cues as to when the funny stuff was going to happen. They spent so much time whipping plates (and coats and hats) around the room, screaming and jumping out of their seats, that they missed what little exposition the story had. From that point on, they just didn't know what was happening. Didn't matter, they'd pretty much rejected the movie out of hand because it wasn't in colour. Bad special effects and silly dialogue weren't funny to them either, just bad.

Fine. Maybe they hadn't quite developed the necessary sophistication yet, although I liked Plan 9 at that age. I had felt my hands were tied in choosing the movie in the first place, since it would have to be something the church folks would approve of (i.e. not a lot of violence or coarse language). They probably would have loved Death Race 2000.

 Anyway, Lori spent some time with the kids between movies, playing games that have always been popular with other kids she's worked with, to a chorus of "this is stupid." Meanwhile, I ordered the pizza, making sure I had three different ones, with very basic ingredients. Can't go wrong, right?

Wrong. The first thing I get is not a bunch of kids going "oh boy, the pizza is here," but rather a lot of dubious inquiries about what brand it is. It was an independent pizzeria near the church that makes good pizza for a good price, but I managed to avoid telling them that. As I'm opening the boxes, each pie is greeted with some variation of "yuck." Some kids hated the Hawaiian one, some hated any kind of vegetable, one expected us to order a plain pepperoni pizza just for her, because she doesn't like anything else. They sat around picking stuff off and b***hing. Two of them grabbed two pieces to start, then b***hed that they couldn't eat the second one.

I suppose this was because they'd filled up on candy, all the time b***hing that there were some black ones in the bowl. It wasn't good enough that there were plenty of other choices. The fact that there was anything they didn't like in their presence was enough for these kids.

You know, when I was a kid, I had to eat what everyone else ate. I wasn't allowed to say I didn't like something without trying a little, and I was certainly taught that it was rude to complain when somebody gave you something. These kids have gone through their lives saying they don't like things they haven't tried, and just having it accepted.

The same goes for movies. We had one TV, and had to compromise. I had to watch what the rest of the family wanted a lot of the time, and I'm better for it. These kids simply always get their own way. Criswell's words were really hitting home - God help us in the future.

Well, we put the second movie on, after considerable debate between Lori and I. She suggested The Blob, since it was in colour and moved at a steady pace. I figured it would still be a good idea to have something easy to laugh at, and put in Hercules in New York. At least it would have a familiar face. I was bracing for the complaints, but they didn't come. The kids seemed to like it. They still didn't make fun of the cheesy stuff, but they were at least paying attention. The Ritalin kid liked it most of all. He was actually telling the others to be quiet. Turns out he was an Arnold fan, and thought he'd seen every movie Arnold had made. I told him about Pumping Iron, which he'd also never heard of, and he was very interested.

Of course, I got to leave after that, and go tend to the dogs, while Lori supervised the sleepover. She came home very stressed out.

It seemed really funny that the kid I'd been insisting on sending home before I freaked out on him was the one who almost made me feel like the evening had been worthwhile. He'll probably go to school on Monday, bragging about the weird old Arnold movie he's seen that his friends don't know about. He might be one of us yet.

[Deena]

Kids at that age are hard to deal with.  It's an akward age, where you just want to be cool and reject authority.  That's why I am grateful that I work with infants at my job. =0)  But at least you tried something new for the kids, and maybe some of them enjoyed it more than they let on.  It is hard to sell kids on black and white movies, hell it's hard to sell me on black on white movies sometimes (and i'm 21).  As in all my social work classes they say, look at the environment and the forces playing on these children, you may get more insight into their attitudes.  But be proud of yourself for trying something new with an akward age group.

Deena

[Andrew]

I have a number of favorite B&W films for "indoctrinating" people:

The Giant Claw
Robot Monster
20 Million Miles to Earth
The Beast of Yucca Flats
The Terror of Tiny Town

When dealing with younger crowds, as in high school or earlier, I tend to go for the monster movies.  "The Giant Claw" and "20 Million Miles to Earth" are both a little talky, but with monsters running around.  For the life of me I could never understand another child who did not love dinosaurs and big monsters (when I was a kid).

[John]

>They spent so much time whipping plates (and coats and hats) around the room,
>screaming and jumping out of their seats, that they missed what little exposition
>the story had.

 Sounds like the woman who rents the downstairs from my parents. She'll put a movie on (cable, DVD etc) and before it gets 2 minutes into it, she's in the other room getting more wine, looking for something or flipping through a catalog. I don't think she's ever watched an entire movie straight through start to finish in her life and she's almost 50.

[AndyC]

Thanks for the kind words. I suppose somebody has to try exposing these kids to new experiences and ideas. Unfortunately, I hadn't really planned on a group that young. This was supposed to be an event for high school aged kids, and it somehow got turned into babysitting. Probably sounded like a kids' event  because it was billed as a sleepover first and bad movie night second. Not my doing.

At least they're now aware of B-movies. Maybe the experience did them some good.

[Foywonder]

Wait...you had a room full of young kids and you didn't order a single plain pepperoni pizza? I have so sympathy for you, sir, for you dug your own grade. I would have been right there with that girl complaining. How anyone can eat Hawaiian pizza is beyond me. Fruit does not go on pizza! When will man learn this simple truth?

[AndyC]

Foywonder wrote:
>
> How anyone can eat Hawaiian
> pizza is beyond me. Fruit does not go on pizza! When will man
> learn this simple truth?

No offence Foy, but this is exactly the attitude I found so baffling. The Hawaiian was one third of the total pizza available, and a favourite of some of the kids. You don't like it, don't eat it. The other pies were not deluxe by any stretch of the imagination either. Pick off a green pepper and two mushrooms, and you have pepperoni pizza. We were trying to please 12 people with three pizzas. That's not easy.

The reaction was pure ignorance and selfishness, and I refuse to cater to it. I think I was doing them a service by giving them something different. Frankly, I think their parents dropped the ball in the first place. Rather than convincing them to eat a vegetable or two, they took the easy way and let their kids eat nothing but meat and cheese. That's not parenting. There are just too many people willing to bow down to the whims of children these days. That explains a lot of problems much bigger than picky eating.

All personal tastes and preferences aside, nobody promised any food. Nobody made us feed those kids. They were told to bring snack foods to pool with the other kids. Few did, so we decided to be nice and spend $40 of our own money to bring in pizza and extra soft drinks for them. Actually, most of the expenses came out of our pockets, because the budget for youth group is so tight. When somebody does that, it's just plain rude to b***h about it, and somebody should have taught them that. I wasn't in charge of the kids (just the movies), so I just bit my tongue the whole evening.

Now, not all of the kids were a problem, and not all of the complainers complained about everything. But the b***hy, whiny attitude was certainly the dominant one, and tended to spoil the fun for everyone.

[lester1/2jr]

that was a hilarious story.

[AndyC]

lester1/2jr wrote:
>
> that was a hilarious story.


I'll probably think so too, given a little time.

The scary part is that these might well be the kids we have to entertain at every single youth group function for the next couple of years. Help.

[Fearless Freep]

The scary part is that these might well be the kids we have to entertain at every single youth group function for the next couple of years. Help.

VeggieTales? :)

[Evan3]

I must say that this story was so entertaining. I would have loved to see any of those movies, but being raised by a single over protective mom (which is good and bad) but I am now in college and am startin to watch the more popular horror films such as Texas Chain Saw Murders (and this week its Halloween). However, I must agree that not buying a pepperoni pizza wasnt the best of ideas. If you are making them watch movies they may not want to, then you should at least order a pizza that they would have enjoyed. I think Hawaiian Pizza "like bad movies" is an acquired taste (I dont like pizza at all, it is hard to when you keep kosher). However, I commend your valiant attempts at trying to educate snobby children. I have seen my fair share and know what it takes to get through to them. If you are ever in Harrisonburg VA. visiting  James Madison Univ. I will arange a scary movie night for you, with a more........ mature audience

[AndyC]

OK, I'll note the pepperoni pizza for next time. Still, in my defence, a pizza with less than three items was practically unheard of in my prior experience. I figured pepperoni, green peppers and mushrooms was a basic pizza.

As for the Hawaiian, I think it had as many fans as critics. I just can't grasp the idea of people complaining about something they're not eating.

By the way, you've gotten me thinking about kosher pizza. That could be an interesting culinary challenge. What would be required to make a pizza kosher?

[Mofo Rising]

I'll stand by your Hawaiian pizza decision.  I can't stand the stuff myself, but every pizza party I've ever been to has had Hawaiian in its midst.  As for the rest, I think the standard for non-offensive pizza choices, especially for kids, is pepperoni and then plain cheese.  (Why?  I don't know.  I order deluxe when I can afford it.)

[Fearless Freep]

Around here, Pepperoni and Green Chile is a staple pizza combination so I bow to local conventions when somone describes what pizza's the ordered :)

[Foywonder]

Two things I've learned from dealing with my niece and nephew:

#1) Bad movies and children under the age of 12 don't seem to mix. They're still too young to appreciate it. Heck, they don't even comprehend 90% of the jokes on MST3K yet.

#2) If you're not their actual parent by which you have total moral authority over them, good luck getting them to try anything new.  Sometimes when dealing with small children not your own you have to cater to their whims and not your own unless you're ready for a bad time. When a non-parent starts trying to force something on a small child with the "try something different" attitude, it usually has disasterous results. No offense, but listening to you talk about how you think you were doing them a favor by getting them to try something different sounds like you were setting yourself up for a mighty big fall.  Its not always a matter of the parent's not teaching them to try new things, but a case of kids acting like kids. Although, from I read, sounds like there were a couple of obnoxious brats in the bunch.  

Sounds to me like you had the wrong audience for what you were setting out to do that evening. However, I stand by my declaration of fruit not belonging on pizza. I have tried it and its the nastiest thing I've ever tasted.