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Teenage Caveman (2002)

Started by Andrew, May 30, 2009, 09:27:53 PM

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Andrew

Halfway through this film I began to wonder just how many times the characters said "f**k."  I did not start the movie again to count, but can tell you that this movie is a whole lot of f**k.

Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org

Joe the Destroyer

I originally had no interest in watching this film whatsoever, and after reading your review I somehow have even less interest.  Thanks for the warning, Andrew!

Dennis

I have never been able to watch more than 10 or so minutes of this film at a time, always made me wonder if the people making this were aware of just how awful it was going to be.

Reach for the heavens in hope for the future for all that we can be, not what we are. Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.

InformationGeek

Out of curiousity, who won the battle in the end and what happened with Sarah.  I watch the film, but sex films aren't my type of film.  That and I don't think my brain could take it before it exploded itself.

Anyways, good review.  The constantly swearing you brought up about the movie and in your review reminds me of the Bud Light commerical where in almost every sentance, someone dropped a f bomb.
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

BoyScoutKevin

At first, I thought Andrew was talking about the 1958 film by Roger Corman. Now that's a good movie. But this . . . ? I'd rather have a hole drilled into my head and hot sand poured down it, and then watch this travesty again. And giving it a "skull" is giving it too much credit. Can we give it something lower than a "skull?"

And yes that looks like Seattle, Washington. The Space Needle in the background gives it away. And having once lived there, it looked like that before the Apocalypse.
It's all that rain that it gets. It does strange things to a city.

DavidFullam

All of those AIP remakes of a few years back were pretty poor. But Teenage Caveman really takes the cake!

Flangepart

Quote from: Joe the Destroyer on May 31, 2009, 02:56:12 AM
I originally had no interest in watching this film whatsoever, and after reading your review I somehow have even less interest.  Thanks for the warning, Andrew!
Oh, lord yes! Thats why I need the reviews...to know where never to tred!
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Trevor

I have to say it, Andrew: "F**k it, that was a great review!"  :cheers:

Virtual karma, sir!  :teddyr:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

WingedSerpent

I actually felt dirty watching this film the first time.  It was somebody trying to do an edgy film and then realized at the end he had to through in a monster. 

At least, that's what Gary Busey told me...

avenger the eagle

What the f**k was with the makers on this movie?? Did they just sit around and say hey there was 1958 movie by Roger f**king Corman. I know, Letis make a f**king remake, and add sex and the word  f**k. F**king Brilliant.

Ash

#10
I love this movie!   :wink:  :thumbup:
I even have the Stan Winston toy of the Bumpy Hulk stored away somewhere in a box.



Great review.  Never thought I'd see you write the F-word so much in one spot. 
A skull rating is a bit harsh, don't you think?

Trevor

We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Andrew

Quote from: Joe the Destroyer on May 31, 2009, 02:56:12 AM
I originally had no interest in watching this film whatsoever, and after reading your review I somehow have even less interest.  Thanks for the warning, Andrew!

Another soul saved!

Quote from: InformationGeek on May 31, 2009, 11:43:44 AM
Out of curiousity, who won the battle in the end and what happened with Sarah.  I watch the film, but sex films aren't my type of film.  That and I don't think my brain could take it before it exploded itself.

David does, and I think that Sarah exploded after they had sex.  At least, that's how I interpreted the ending.  We never see Sarah again, just David dressed up like Neil had been.

Quote from: avenger the eagle on June 02, 2009, 12:12:12 PM
What the f**k was with the makers on this movie?? Did they just sit around and say hey there was 1958 movie by Roger f**king Corman. I know, Letis make a f**king remake, and add sex and the word  f**k. F**king Brilliant.

Quote from: Ash on June 04, 2009, 07:25:05 PM
Great review.  Never thought I'd see you write the F-word so much in one spot. 
A skull rating is a bit harsh, don't you think?

I experienced quite a few "Do I really want to create a review like this?" moments when I was writing the article.  However, after it was over and I looked over it, the result seemed the correctly convey the script's inability to say anything besides "f**k."

The skull was mandatory.  I hate this movie.
Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org

Mofo Rising

I, of course, am fully in favor of profanity. That you do not use profanity is something to be admired because, well, I've read all your reviews. The movies you watch, avoiding profanity is a skill in itself.

Then again, this movie deserves nothing but. I'm just glad I don't have to watch it.
Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.

Torgo

Larry Clark is a terrible filmmaker in my opinion. And Teenage Caveman is his worst to date. Horrible acting all around. Atrocious writing and amateurish direction. If you haven't seen his most controversial film to date called Ken Park yet, don't. He veered over into filming actual hardcore teen sex scenes in that one.  He's nothing but a pervert that somehow keeps being given money to make horrible films.
"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."