things you learned from video games

[Joe the Destroyer]

Sleeping can heal a person from critical and mortal conditions, and sometimes even revive people. (any RPG)

Most people don't care if you walk into their house, talk to them, and start taking anything in their chests, drawers, pottery, or bookshelves. (any RPG)

Being blown to bits by a giant robot can be remedied with a feather from a legendary bird, but being stabbed through the back is irrevocable.  (Final Fantasy 7)

Woodland animals are usually dangerous, even squirrels. (Many action games, Legacy of Goku in particular)

If the world is ever overrun by zombies, ghosts, demons, or velociraptors, one must not fear of running out of ammunition.  It's always laying around in corners and chests, waiting for you to pick it up. (almost any survival/horror game)

Submerged cars explode. (GTA 3)

So do overturned cars. (ditto)

People's bodies blink and vanish before they die. (mostly RPG's, especially Final Fantasy 4)

When going on long, epic adventures women always wear the most revealing and least practical clothing. (any J-RPG)

You can gain money by killing random creatures.  (any RPG)

People always run after and attempt to eat riceballs that mysteriously fall from above. (Tenchu)

Wolverine cannot heal as well as we all thought. (just about any X-Men game)

[BTM]

After someone's been dead for about 10 seconds, they just vanish!

You know, I've had some jobs that I really wish that were true.

Boss: Get this damn report done, NOW, Mike!
(Mike whips out gun, shoots boss, waits, body disappears.  Co-worker walks in.)
Co-Worker: Hey, Mike, have you seen the boss?
Mike (shrugs): Nope, can't say I have, that's why I came in the office.
Co-Worker: Oh.. well, if you see him, tell him I need to talk him.  Hey, what's all this money on the floor for?
Mike: Oh, it fell out of my pocket!  (scoops of cash)

:)

[BTM]

It's perfectly safe to drink random jars you find in monster infested dungeons with the letters "XXX" on them.  (Gauntlet)

Any RPG suddenly takes a whole new twisted (and often hilarious) dimension when you name the main character Mypenis (or something equally immature.)

Apparently nobody notices or cares when you wonder around a city massacring civilians at random.  (GTA, and various others games)

Guards have only ONE thing to say, and that's to welcome you to whatever city you're in.

Pick EVERYTHING you can, no matter how illogical it would be to carry around.  You never know when save random object will come in handy/save your ass later on.  (Just about any adventure game.)

Shooting any barrel will cause it too explode.

If you see a large crack in the wall, odds are good that portion of the wall can be blown away to reveal a secret cache of goodies.

[Leah]

SUV's/Trucks have Agro (Midnight Club 3)

[Mr. DS]

Shooting rockets at cars will blow them up but won't effect roads, buildings, etc. 

Earthworms, Toads and Hedgehogs can save the earth. 

Holy water forms a fountain when it hits the ground. 

[AndyC]

There are a lot of really insane architects out there, designing buildings with floors that move back and forth, sections of ceiling that come crushing down every few seconds, and walls with flamethrowers in them.

A raccoon's tail is for flying.

Kaiju transform into naked people when sufficiently injured.

Enough bullets will destroy anything, even tanks and ships.

Tennis, hockey and soccer are all basically the same game, played with a slightly different set of square paddles.

[Leah]

some people only drink water and not eat anything (Prince of Persia)

[Psycho Circus]

Princesses only date plumbers

[Mr. DS]

Enough bullets will destroy anything, even tanks and ships.

Except roads, buildings, etc. 

Walking on lava will not leave any lasting effects as long as you get off of it. 

[Psycho Circus]

Only Bruce Willis can save the earth from the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

[Cthulhu]

Monsters screw up your radio.

You CAN survive falling 200 metres, as long as you land in water.

Are you short, balding, out of shape, unattractive, and you wear a leisure suit? You are going to have a lot of sex.

5 bullets to the chest isn't fatal.

[Mr. DS]

Getting rid of customers in a bar is necessary to advance in your bartending career.   (Tapper)

A small amount of ice can freeze a human body.  (Mortal Kombat)

A toaster and a VCR are nice complimentary prizes while fighter for your life.  (Super Smash TV)

Steroids can make you super human the second you take them.  (GTA and Duke Nukem 3d)

[AndyC]

One soldier or pilot is all you need to defeat any enemy, as long as he's good enough.

[Mr. DS]

If you jump on a turtle shell it will scoot away from you and not stop. 

[venomx]

Mario Bros.

If you hit a brick and a star comes out, touch it. You will become GOD for 10 secs ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTFHhpZl3Uk