Recent viewings

[Torgo]

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN  * 1/2 out of ****.   Complete and incomprehensible crap.

[SkullBat308]

Into the Wild

[indianasmith]

EDGES OF DARKNESS -

A weird, disconnected mess of a post-zombie apocalypse movie, featuring a computer nerd with a new processor that draws power from living things, growing stronger and hungrier by the minute.  He apparently is typing the stories of the other three vignettes, which include a pair of vampires trying to find a breathing human to feed on in a world full of the undead, and a female commando type trying to rescue a prepubescent Anti-Christ from a priestly assassination squad . . . . it was a very confusing, cheaply done film.

But hey, what do you expect from Anchor Bay entertainment?

[Jack]

The Devil's Wedding Night (1973) - watched Elvira's Movie Macabre version of this.  A guy goes to Transylvania in search of a mythical ring that will grant him supernatural power.  Where's it located?  In castle Dracula you say?  Yup, there's no Dracula in this film, just a female vamp who seduces our young ring-seeker.  But then his identical twin brother shows up (wtf?).  People laugh.  People walk through the castle for 5 minutes at a time while a heartbeat thumps in the background.  Man oh man, a real chore to keep your eyes open through this stuff.  Then people laugh some more.  Finally a bunch of topless virgins show up to be sacrificed while the vampire babe marries the guy - or have they pulled a switcheroo with his twin brother?  Elvira couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing either.  2/5.

[Andrew]

The Bermuda Depths

A young man returns to the Bahamas to help his friend catch a giant sea turtle.  He meets a girl he knew as a young boy, who is actually a female sea demon.  The turtle is her pet monster.  The marine biologist friend is Carl Weathers!  The turtle takes out a helicopter!  Eventually, Carl gets tired of trying to catch the big turtle and shoots it with a harpoon bazooka.  All that does is get him tangled in the harpoon cable and pulled into the depths, Captain Ahab style.  This was not nearly as good as I remembered.  Of course, that memory was filtered through the brain of a boy about ten years old.

Lessons learned:

Always, always, always, always buy the biggest boat that you can afford.
If your helicopter runs into a turtle, then you were probably flying too low.
The best gift that you can give a captain with an obsessive need for revenge is a pair of wire cutters.

[lester1/2jr]

andrew - I'm not sure you didn't just make that movie up


Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One (1968)-  You have to give the director credit for ackowledging with the title that this experimental and a mess which it is.  While he films a scene of a rather torrid argument between a married couple in central park, another film crew films FILMS HIM chronicling the dialogue between the director and the actors and the crew and random people they come across in the park.  Then there is another camera capturing THAT crew and the kind of weird and heated dialogue they are having among themselves about the merits of the film and the director.  It's sloppy and not all of it is captivating but it's only 75 minutes long and there is some fascinating stuff.  I liked especially the scenes with the actors trying to figure out how to approach the scene they are filming. acting seems like a really bizarre art form and one I've never really thought about.  I'm not a person who is particularly interested in filmaking or the whole lore of movie making so I didn't think I'd like this but in the end I did.

[SkullBat308]

Watchmen

[Cthulhu]

Night train to terror. What a mess.
It was fun, nevertheless.

[lester1/2jr]

Sliver-  I had forgotten I'd seen this already, but I hadn't seen it in like 10 years so I forgot who killed colonel mustard with the candlestick so it was okay.  I agree with a reviewer  at netflix who said the direction was extra weak. Apparently Roman Polanski was set to direct it but couldn't get a visa for obvious reasons. "you HAVE to let me in the country! I must direct this trashy basic instinct knock off  before Stone hits the wall!!"  Whoever it was the eventually did the job does an incredibly bland job and makes Baldwin and Stone look dopier than they already do. It never ceases to amaze me how much Tom Berenger looks like Bob Pollard from Guided By Voices. I kept expecting him to break into "wished I was a  Giant" "Queen and Caroline" or another GBV gem.  As for reports of a body double, I would hasten to remind people that this is Sharon Stone we are talking about.  It was some pretty light body double work if it was.
4/5

[Rev. Powell]

COWARDS BEND THE KNEE (2003): The impossible to summarize, dreamlike plot features a hockey player with a wandering eye, abortions, seductive ghosts, hand transplants, matricide, an ice breast, slapstick routines, and wax galoots. Shot as a silent film with disorienting, stuttering editing, "Cowards" is shocking, stylish and often hilarious, playing out like a mix of "Un Chien Andalou," "Mad Love," the Three Stooges, and "NHL on the Fly." 4.5/5.

MST3K: THE GIANT GILA MONSTER:  This is one of the first episodes I remember catching on cable.  I was immediately entranced by the concept, but on a second viewing it's probably an average to below-average episode (which is still pretty good).  Let's face it, GILA MONSTER is pretty boring, and the riffing was not quite good enough to keep me in stitches throughout.  3/5

[InformationGeek]

Godzilla (1998 Version): I just sat through this film for the first time and I really didn't think it was that bad of a film.  The special effects were good (Godzilla was half and half), the acting was alright (Matthew needs some more lessons in acting though), the story was alright, and the concept of a giant monster running a muck in New York was good.  I know people don't really like it because it isn't anything like Godzilla, so I just see it has a completely different monster. (If Japan can do that, you people can too!)

[indianasmith]

Godzilla (1998 Version): I just sat through this film for the first time and I really didn't think it was that bad of a film.  The special effects were good (Godzilla was half and half), the acting was alright (Matthew needs some more lessons in acting though), the story was alright, and the concept of a giant monster running a muck in New York was good.  I know people don't really like it because it isn't anything like Godzilla, so I just see it has a completely different monster. (If Japan can do that, you people can too!)

I've never understood all the hate for this film . . . I enjoyed it in the theater, and bought the DVD a couple of years ago . . .  I mean, you've got a Godzilla that moves and acts like a REAL LIZARD instead of a guy in a rubber suit!  What a concept!  I loved it at the time and like it now, but I guess there are just too many rubber suit fans in the world.

[Leah]

Cirque du Freak! in the seen where you see the outer side of the school, that's my school: Lusher Charter School.

[Leah]

THE GIANT GILA MONSTER

you're SURE it's a Giant Gila Monster, hmmmm?

[SkullBat308]

Red Dawn
Friday the 13th
Cabin Fever