My Night with Charles Band

Saucerman · October 22, 2009, 09:56:08 AM

Last night, Charles Band's Full Moon Horror Road Show came to Buffalo, NY (which is more or less my stomping grounds, though I tend to hide out in the suburbs), so I went out to see it, bringing along my friend, former roommate and fellow movie reviewer Dan, who drove an hour and a half to get here for it.

It was so much fun. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun. By the time it was over, my sides ached, my jaw ached, I'd shaken hands, been up on stage, bought stuff, had my picture taken, took pictures, saw naked boobies, heard about Gary Busey's list of demands...it was amazing. He does these Road Shows every year now, so if you get a chance, definitely go see it. Tickets were $10 each.

And now, some pictures:

The first thing we saw when we approached the venue.

A better view of the Full Moon trailer.

This was an integral part of the show.

Charles Band, telling us about how much Gary Busey hates women who shave off their "bush."

Asking us to rate hot chicks by applause.

The guy who won the part of "Satanic Serial Killer" for a little stage show -- I'd auditioned, but Charles felt I was too good-looking to be a Satanic Serial Killer.

Hard to see, but the rest of the cast of this little show "TITTY MASTER" -- three hot chicks and a scary biker guy, playing, respectively, two Lesbians, the Serial Killer's Girlfriend, and the Serial Killer's Traitorous Half-Brother.

Me and one of the Lesbians, a local girl who is a student and involved in (something I was previously unaware existed) Buffalo's horror movie making scene. She served as script girl and Screaming Extra for the upcoming SLIME CITY MASSACRE, where she screams and gets vaporized while standing next to Lloyd Kaufman.

Me and Kristy, an employee of FRIGHT RAGS, whose shirts I wear almost every day. She stopped me and wanted a picture because she saw I had their C.H.U.D. shirt on.

Me and CB, who I think was a little surprised that I brought him HIDEOUS! to autograph, instead of one of the PUPPETMASTER or DEMONIC TOYS films. HIDEOUS! was my first Full Moon feature though, so it has special meaning to me. Plus, Jacqueline Lovell is hot. Shame she refuses to do these sorts of movies any more.

WilliamWeird1313 · October 22, 2009, 10:14:20 AM

Groovy. I heard those Road Shows are a blast, though I've also heard C.B. has a habit of engaging in questionable business practices behind the scenes of these things (most notoriously, I don't know if he still does it, but I know he used to offer a chance to win a walk-on cameo in a Full Moon movie, or a death scene in a Full Moon movie, and that, to date, none of the winners have yet appeared in a Full Moon movie). Then again, I've heard he's got questionable business practices in every aspect of his life, so what else is new? I know he gets a lot of hate for so much of the dreck that Full Moon puts out these days, but I still give him credit for "the good old days," most notably the stuff he produced and distributed under the Empire Pictures and Wizard Video banners.

Saucerman · October 22, 2009, 10:28:38 AM

He actually had a raffle to win the opportunity to die in a mass-electrocution scene in GINGERDEAD MAN 3: SATURDAY NIGHT CLEAVER, which begins filming in February. And yeah, I'm aware of some of his shady practices -- it seems like he's become just as sleazy as the distributers he said screwed him over pre-1981, pre-Ghoulies.

Also, if you spent $100 or more on merchandise at the show, you would receive Executive Producer status on GINGERDEAD MAN 3, which is apparently useful for nailing girls who want into show business. I spent $25 on merch at the show -- if payday had been Tuesday instead of today, I might have spent more.

WilliamWeird1313 · October 22, 2009, 10:51:01 AM

Nice.

Did you ever hear the thing about Full Moon auctioning off "genuine, screen-used props" from the Puppet Master series and the like for HUGE prices, which were, in reality, just the mass market replicas they sell for an already overblown price on their webstore site?

PS> Awesome shirt.

lester1/2jr · October 22, 2009, 10:54:50 AM

did you hook up with Kristy?

Saucerman · October 22, 2009, 11:00:44 AM

William: It's an awesome shirt. I wear Fright Rags shirts a lot, and C.H.U.D. and GORGO always get commented on wherever I go. I've had people stop me in the street wanting to know where I got such cool shirts, and to reminisce about Gorgo or the Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.

Lester: No hooking up of any sort took place between me and any of the many, many lovely ladies in attendance.

WilliamWeird1313 · October 22, 2009, 11:35:18 AM

Quote from: Saucerman on October 22, 2009, 11:00:44 AM
No hooking up of any sort took place between me and any of the many, many lovely ladies in attendance.

Bad, Saucerman, bad. The correct answer to Lester's question is: "Yes, I hooked up with every hot lady there, and Charles Band thought I was so cool that he asked me to be his best friend."

lester1/2jr · October 22, 2009, 11:53:42 AM

when I saw the budweiser sign in the background I figured it was a done deal

Saucerman · October 22, 2009, 12:14:44 PM

Ah, hehe, my bad. Well the lovely young lady in the blue striped shirt has got me phenomenally interested in the Buffalo underground filmmaking scene, something I never knew existed.

Jack · October 22, 2009, 02:51:03 PM

What an awesome time! I've always loved Full Moon (well, the older stuff more), and hear about his horror road shows all the time. Being out in the middle of nowhere, they never have any here though. So that girl from Hideous! isn't doing "that kind" of movies any more? That's a cryin' shame.

SkullBat308 · October 22, 2009, 03:42:02 PM

I'm so jealous, nothing cool ever comes to the far east coast of Canada

SPazzo · October 22, 2009, 04:05:10 PM

Quote from: SkullBat308 on October 22, 2009, 03:42:02 PM
I'm so jealous, nothing cool ever comes to the far east coast of Canada

Nothing cool ever comes to the west part of Canada either.

Raffine · October 22, 2009, 04:38:29 PM

Quote from: SPazzo_1493 on October 22, 2009, 04:05:10 PM
Quote from: SkullBat308 on October 22, 2009, 03:42:02 PM
I'm so jealous, nothing cool ever comes to the far east coast of Canada

Nothing cool ever comes to the west part of Canada either.

Face it guys, it's Canada.

Saucerman · October 22, 2009, 11:35:44 PM

Quote from: Jack on October 22, 2009, 02:51:03 PM
So that girl from Hideous! isn't doing "that kind" of movies any more? That's a cryin' shame.

According to the book "Attack of the B Queens" she became Born Again, burned everything relating to earlier careers (B-movie eye candy and, before that, hardcore pornography under the name Sara St. James) and took a break from acting to start a family. Now she's making bit part appearances in TV shows, being for instance the plot-centric guest star in an episode here and there of Law and Order, etc.