Real school absence excuse notes

[The Burgomaster]

Spellings Have Been Left Intact

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathethe (s**ts).

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

[Psycho Circus]

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

They're my favourites. 

[lester1/2jr]

signed,

Epsteins mother

[SPazzo]

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Lucky gramps. 

[The Burgomaster]

signed,

Epsteins mother

This is the exact response someone posted in the forum where I found this list!

[Cthulhu]

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

You deserve a medal!

[Criswell]

Where did you get these? There great!

[The Burgomaster]

Where did you get these? There great!

I found them in . . . of all places . . . a boardgamegeek.com forum

[Trevor]

Spellings Have Been Left Intact

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. 

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. 

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. 

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathethe (s**ts). 

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.  [puke] 


17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines. 

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. 

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor. 

23.  There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

[Jack]

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

Oh dear, that must have been a very bad case 

[Doc Daneeka]

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

Now that's just sad. I know it's (Most likely) not the case but I can imagine this being used for every complaint the school had with the kid XD

[BoyScoutKevin]

I've seen these before, but they still make me laugh.

I especially like excuse #11. At least that person tried several times to get it right, before giving up.

And I'm sure any teachers that frequent this board have their own list of absence excuses, that they've seen in their years of teaching.