Annoying misuse or mispronunciation of words or phrases

[Trevor]

I'll tell you the thing that annoys me more than anything else. It's the calling out of supposedly "large" words. I got called out for using the word "conducive." L

I once used a long word when I was in high school ~ a prefect who was within hearing distance remarked "That word's longer than marmalade." 

[Jim H]

When people say:

* "I could care less," when they really mean "I COULDN'T care less"

I find this immensely annoying. It's the most stupid mistake ever. People who are not able to work out why this doesn't make sense actually offend me.

It's not really a mistake (well, not really anymore) it's the slippery linguistic alteration of a phrase into an idiom.  Basically, could has one less syllable and is easier to say than couldn't, so it was substituted in.  It's not that everyone who says it this way doesn't actually know the difference.  I can still totally understand why it bugs people.

One phrase I actually like that makes no sense: "Fine as a hair on a frog's back" and variants.

[AndyC]

I'll tell you the thing that annoys me more than anything else. It's the calling out of supposedly "large" words. I got called out for using the word "conducive." Ladies and gentleman, it's your language, why not learn to use it?

I hate that. People who think you're putting on airs when you simply have a healthy vocabulary. My wife gets that from her family, and what frustrates her is when the word is not that unusual. Her mom once gave her a hard time for calling somebody "sanctimonious." Not only is that a fairly common word, but there really isn't a better way to get that precise meaning across. To dumb down "sanctimonious," you'd almost have to describe the quality. Even saying "holier than thou" doesn't quite convey the same meaning.

And yet, nobody gets called out for using words like "impacted" and "surgeries" - improper words that people do use to sound smart.

[Newt]

Decimate.  It means to take or destroy one in ten of; to punish every tenth man by death.  It is most often used to as equivalent to destroy or annihilate (to blot out of existence; to reduce to nothing).  That's a long way from one-in-ten.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

I view language as akin to music.

When you're talking, you don't need to be grammatically perfect. Far from it. If you make sense to the people you're talking to, mission accomplished!

You know, I have to agree, I love playing with my words for fun... For example, sometimes instead of saying "I'm not ready" I'll say "I am disenreadyated" or something equlally stupid. 
-Ed

[AndyC]

I view language as akin to music.

When you're talking, you don't need to be grammatically perfect. Far from it. If you make sense to the people you're talking to, mission accomplished!

You know, I have to agree, I love playing with my words for fun... For example, sometimes instead of saying "I'm not ready" I'll say "I am disenreadyated" or something equlally stupid. 
-Ed

That's an important distinction for me. I like it when people are colourful in their use of language, and I love accents (unless I'm calling a tech support line). I can appreciate regional quirks, and I can overlook errors by people who learned English as a second language. It's the people who have no excuse, who mess up the language and aren't kidding about it.

I think once you master working with the language, it's OK to play with it. What really bug me are ignorance and pretense and laziness.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Speaking of accents, I work tech support for scientists.   Once I let my mind wander as the customer asked a question and I replied "Yep, that. dog'll hunt"

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Oh dear...My daughter had a toy named Jacques Peacock once, and my wife mispronounced it Jah-Kezz, and i laughed at her for it. Now I'm watching the OSU vs Oregon football game, and theres a player named Jaquizz. So not only did someone misprounounce it, someone else spelled it phonetically. 

[paula]

Having lived in the Greater Boston area for my entire life, I hear "idear" quite a bit.  I also hear:

* Watah (instead of water)

* Fawty (instead of forty)

* Yee-ahs (instead of years)

I am very conscious of my accent and try to disguise it when I travel out of state, but it often sneaks through.

don't forget, "wicked"

* Cah (for car)

* Rotary (roundabout everywhere else, mostly particular to the NE)

* Tonic (instead of cola)

[Newt]

"Open minded".  Sets my teeth on edge when people use this to indicate they accept anything and everything they hear/read at face value, all equal, without question or examination - and then present this 'open-mindedness' as an indication of their ethical and intellectual superiority.   

[Derf]

"Open minded".  Sets my teeth on edge when people use this to indicate they accept anything and everything they hear/read at face value, all equal, without question or examination - and then present this 'open-mindedness' as an indication of their ethical and intellectual superiority.   

Amen, sister. I don't really believe in "open mindedness" or "closed mindedness," at least not the way it is used lately. "Open-minded" people (and, hey, who doesn't consider themselves to be reasonably open minded?) generally use the terms as a politically correct way to call someone they disagree with an idiot (because only an idiot could be as closed minded as fill in the blank). In other words, if I don't agree with your opinion, it is because I am open minded (and therefore smart), while you are closed minded (and therefore an idiot). If you only thought clearly (like, of course, I do), then you would share my opinion, since it is the only valid one.

I don't call myself open minded, but in practice I am much more willing to listen to others' opinions and accept the differences between us without trying to force my opinion on them than many I've met who claim to be very open minded. I'm also willing to call an idiot an idiot (at least to myself).

[AndyC]

My first boss in the newspaper business was one of those old-fashioned owner-editors who believed he was crusading for truth and justice in the community while he was really just on a power trip and making a comfortable living at it (until enough subscribers and advertisers deserted him). The guy wielded his paper like a club. And he always used to refer to "thoughtful people" in his editorials. It was always what thoughtful people believe, what thoughtful people do, what thoughtful people know, etc. And it didn't take a terribly thoughtful person to see that "thoughtful people" were just people who agreed with him. What really bugged me was that it's phrased positively enough to be not too offensive on the surface, until you ask "What am I if I don't agree?"

As for myself, I do use the term "open minded" but not in that broad "it's all good" sense. To me, open mindedness is just a willingness to consider possibilities and points of view, rather than rejecting them out of hand. Your mind might already be made up, but you're not beyond persuasion. I agree it has nothing to do with unconditional acceptance and approval.

[Psycho Circus]

The people where I live currently all say buzz instead of bus. It sounds bloody awful!

[The Burgomaster]

Having lived in the Greater Boston area for my entire life, I hear "idear" quite a bit.  I also hear:

* Watah (instead of water)

* Fawty (instead of forty)

* Yee-ahs (instead of years)

I am very conscious of my accent and try to disguise it when I travel out of state, but it often sneaks through.

don't forget, "wicked"

* Cah (for car)

* Rotary (roundabout everywhere else, mostly particular to the NE)

* Tonic (instead of cola)

Yup.  Nothing better than going to Fenway Park and getting a "Hawt dawg and a tonic" (or a "beah") while watching the Red Sawx play "a wicked good game of baseball."  The only bummer is paying $40 to pahk the cah.

[Mofo Rising]

One mispronunciation of a word that never fails to annoy me is "libary" in place of "library." I may be sensitive because I actually work in a library, but there's just no good reason to mispronounce the word other than ignorance of its actual pronunciation.