Do You Make Up New Lyrics to Old Tunes?

[Trevor]

I insert "anteater" for Hall and Oates "maneater".

[Trevor]

There's a song by SA singer John Edmond entitled "Rock 'n Roll Rhodie" in which the singer tells of his life as an entertainer on the road in the then Rhodesia. I always change the final line of the chorus

"I'm just a rock 'n roll Rhodie with my vellies [animal skin shoes] on"

to

"I'm just a rock 'n roll Rhodie with my underpants on." 

John is a good friend of mine: I just hope he never hears my version. 

[ER]

I can't say I make up lyrics on purpose but I have a 50% hearing loss in my right ear that's always making me misunderstand what's being said in songs and some of those misunderstandings have been doozies.

Such as Seal's masterpiece:
"We're never gonna survive
Unless
We put a lid on crazy....."

Like Jewel's famous:
"These mans are small
But they're all I own..."

And Billy Corgan's ode to youth:
"Despite all my rage
I am still just rattling engaged..."

Or Elvis' memorable line:
"Return to sender
Have dress oh no...."

[BTM]

Actually, every time I write poetry (which, admittedly, isn't often), I often put it to the tune of a song I know, because I just can't see writing it with a "beat" behind it.

I'll have to post some samples some time (not at my home computer.)

But some stuff I can remember off-hand...

To the chorus of "Kyrie" by Mr Mister

"Everyday is a road that I must travel,
some days I'm lonely and I hurt deep inside
but everyday is a road that I must travel,
the world doesn't stop no matter how hard I try to hide."


And sometimes bizarre stuff just pops into my head from nowhere...  For instance remember that old bologna song, "My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R" etc?

(WARNING Immature content ahead)

I came up with, "My penis has a first name it's L-I-T-T-L-E.  My penis has a second name it's M-I-K-E-Y."

I have no idea where this stuff comes from... seriously.

[Psycho Circus]

I change "Rhinestone Cowboy" to:

"Like a rhinestone foreskin
Gettin' crabs and herpes from people I don't know" 

[AndyC]

With the Christmas music everywhere right now, my old classics are coming back to mind. If I'm just humming a tune or have it stuck in my head, I'll often just start changing the words without even thinking about it. I guess after you've messed around with songs long enough, it just becomes natural. It might also be a side effect of listening to too many MacLean and MacLean albums as a teenager. Anyway, I've come up with a few alternate versions of holiday classics over the years, and each one seems to become permanently associated with the song.

Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won't you sniff my ass tonight

Frosty the Snowman
Was a horny, happy soul
With a corn cob pipe
And a carrot c**k
And two nuts made out of coal

Down through the village
With his big d**k in his hand
Running here and there
All around the square
Saying "jerk me if you can."

Those are the best ones, and I made them up years ago. In hindsight, they're pretty brutal. I think it partly has to do with not really liking either song, but being assaulted with them year after year because they're so popular. And maybe I get a little annoyed that some Gene Autry novelty song has managed to permanently attach itself to the Santa Claus story.

I don't actually mind carols, or decent popular Christmas songs. I pretty much listen to Elvis and Rat Pack Christmas albums at home, and carols are a nice change for singing at church. What bug me are the cheesy, gimmicky novelty songs that get old fast and become sheer torture after the first hundred or so times you hear them (because, naturally, a lot of people like them). You don't want to know what I did to Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

[Rev. Powell]

Green Day's "Good Riddance" becomes

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right/I hope you have a good time with my wife

when I'm singing it.

When I hear this song I always sing "It's something indefensible...", which I guess describes how I feel about Green Day.

[Nukie 2]

I rewrite the Misfits' "Attitude" into "Gratitude"

Gratitude,
You got some lovely Gratitude
And I love what you're saying to me
You've got some gratitude
Gratitude

Inside your giving heart, there's probably a dove.
And when in flies right out, it's the kindest act of love.

Gratitude,
You got some lovely Gratitude


And then when I sing "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" the chorus become
"Daddy is a Stock-Broker
Daddy is a stock-broker
Daddy is a stock-broker
N-a-a-o-w!"

[retrorussell]

James Taylor's "Whenever I See Your Smiling Face" gets changed to "Whenever I Smell Your Big Fat @$$".

Whenever I smell your big fat @$$, I have to hold my nose.  'Cause it's deadly..

[meQal]

I do this often. In fact there is a website devoted to fan written parodies of songs. http://www.amiright.com/parody/index.shtml
I have written one there about 6 year ago when Ronald Reagan died to the Oh What A Circus song from Evita because of the insane way Reagan's passing was handled by the media. Sure he was a former president but the coverage of his passing then was a bit much if you ask me.
Also someone mentioned the song Total Eclipse of the Heart. Try imagining that song being sung by Elmer Fudd. Go on, I dare you to do so and not burst out laughing.