Chuck Norris...The Healer...

[Mr. DS]

Unlike his deputy, Chuck Norris didn't have to worry about heart attacks because NOTHING attacks Chuck Norris.

[retrorussell]

"Normally, I rub a Buddah's belly for luck, but you'll do.  (Come on, Lotto numbers!)"

[AndyC]

"No Chuck. I said take him to the CORONER."

[Jack]

Although Chuck had only read about open heart massage, he did manage to pull it off successfully, saving the man's life.

[Skull]

Mr. Spock I call this... The Chuck Norris sleep touch.

[Psycho Circus]

Chuck Norris can absorb food from human stomachs through his hand, regardless of clothing...

[AndyC]

"I don't need a defibrillator. I'm Chuck f**king Norris! CLEAR!"

[Neville]

"...And after Way of the dragon I wax my chest. It doesn't hurt much, let me demostrate..."

[Psycho Circus]

"Rest now my friend, and may the Chuck be with you"

[Leah]

It's... it's Trevor!

[Psycho Circus]

"He would've been fine had he been wearing his Action Jeans, like Chuck."

[SPazzo]

"He's dead; FINALLY!  Now I can take his wallet.  Stupid career, down the friggin drain."

[retrorussell]

Deputy: Hey Chuck.. I don't think that burrito is sitting too well.
Chuck: Here buddy.. let me massage that bellyache.

Seconds later they both died in a massive methane explosion.

[Leah]

Unknown to the fact that the camera was on, Chuck shot the deputy, who he thought was the sheriff

[AndyC]

"Your mind to my mind... Oh wait, I'm too low."