Lord of the Rings 1/2

[Mr. Muddang]

I might make you guys shatter in disaggreement, but LoTR had all that makes a bad movie noteworthy

Screenplay: shamelessly bastardizingTolkien's book

Acting: it gets better in porn amateur movies

Of course, the movie has awesome special effects. But remember, a movie is DIFFERENT from a computer game. You are expected to have humans there, not mindless loons spreading bullets around...

The sequence of "walking trees going to war" will remain in my memory as a paradygm of crappy movies.

The dialogue has 1% to do with Tolkien, 99% with completely predictable Hollywood crapster. It lacks any sort of consistence, although, INDEED, it's a Fiction, but i've seen fiction movies of valor. Also, the lack of respect for author's writing goes on and on. The action is transformed into a good vs. bad same old s**t.

I watched the movie patiently waiting Liv Tyler to finally strip off the redundant clothes she is covering hers beautiful body with. In the end I felt doublecrossed, because aside of the complete failure this movie was, I didn't even got the redeeming compensation of nudity.

[Squishy]

Yup, it's a troll.

[Dr. X, Yyz, Sr. .]

I don't know,.......Peter Jackson really has TRASHED the story so far.
It should have been named
P. Jackson's Lord of the Screens

[Squishy]

It's funny that the first person I've seen here complaining about Jackson's alterations to Tolkien's work also:

(1) Was looking for a gratuitous nude scene (der);
(2) Thinks the movie has gunplay (derrrrr);
(3) Hates the fact that the story is about "good vs. evil" (duh-guh-yup!);
(4) Seems to be having trouble figuring out where the Ents came from (ehhhhhrrrrp).
(6) Spells like a chimp (ook oook ook).

"Mommy, why is that man like that?"
"Don't look at him, dear."
--"Futurama"

[akiratubo]

Fellowship of the Ring was a good movie, I thought.  The Two Towers was just kind of, "Eh."

There are so many problems with The Two Towers.  The main one is that Theodin is a self-absorbed, ineffective, doormat.  He's supposed to be a great king but he more or less does the worst possible thing in any given situation.  He seems more obsessed with his own glory during the Battle of Helm's Deep than getting his people through it alive.

Another is that Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are invincible!  They basically take on all 10,000+ Uruk-hai single handedly.  There was absolutely no sense that they might die or even get hurt.

And here we have the biggest problem with the whole series thusfar:  Viggo Mortensen.  The man is so BORING.  I can't believe how boring he is.  He's so boring I'm about to fall asleep thinking about him.  Whenever Aragorn is on screen I find myself looking at everything but him.  I rented several other movies with Mortensen and, yes, he's just as boring in those.  He's even boring in interviews!

[raj]

Dang, Squishy.  Ya beat me to the punch.

And if Peter Jackson was going to be 100% faithful to the books, each movie would be 10 hours long.   Sure, there'd be a few of us who'd love that but  there's no way in hell the movies would pull in enough of an audience to pay for the costs.

[Mr. Muddang]

Squishy wrote:
>
> Yup, it's a troll.

It's no "troll", BOY, it's your mommy upset cause you p**sed on the floor yet again.

[Mr. Muddang]

The movie had no idea. It was an inept waste of time and gozillion of dollars. I only say that you can't simply make a movie just by tossing in some state of the art special effects. A movie must ALWAYS have characters and plot. LoTR is simply cartoonish. Tolkien NEVER made these one-dimentional characters you see in the movie. My point is that the entire idea was to use Tolkien name to get big money out of the movie.

... by the way, i forgot to thank you for your free of charge spell checking. Here's your dollar. Now BEAT IT!

[Squishy]

Yes, that trash talk is very impressive (snicker). I think I'll stay, thanks.

[Foywonder]

Well, you certainly showed him. I notice your ISP has "edu" in it. Freshmen at college with too much time on your hands and no friends perhaps?

[Squishy]

http://maddox.xmission.com/lotr1.html

Aw, crap, I wish I had found this page way back when this troll first started farting it up. It's beautiful.

(Some people like to snivel and whine that I'm "PC," but I love "PI" sites like this, because the guy's totally obnoxious and a**holic, but--it's an act. It's too over-the-top and self-parodying to be real. The REALLY funny stuff comes when 4-F boneheads who don't "get" it start writing lecturing e-mails to him.)  Eric Snider is also good in the "hate mail" department, and his movie reviews are pretty well thought-out, too.

Better than "Yh, tihs movie SUX! Yeah. It does. It SUX! Yeh," anyway. If you don't like a given movie, that's fine. If you're trying to "shatter everyone in disagggrreemmmennt" by picking the latest pop film and cussing it up without an ounce of geniune criticism, you're just putting the Dumbass sign on your head and banging pans.

[Gerry]

Check out his article on DAREDEVIL too:

<http://maddox.xmission.com/dare_devil.html>

[Flangepart]

Humm...not bad, Squishmister! Eric Snider ...cool! I like his take on "David Gail". Have to check him out more often.

[Hamburger Pimp]

I loved the rant about Lobo!!