WAR OF THE PLANETS : 1977. 1hr 19min. Dir "Al Bradly"

[Flangepart]

Our subject? Italian Space opera, 70 style!
When the dvd box says, "Color-unrated-stuff blowing up", thats truth in advertising, brother. All hail Retromedia!
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Stars?: John Richardson, Yanti Somer...uh...and some Italians.
Plot? ?: Intrepid space jockeys investigate far off planet, source of strange signals. Weird stuff ensues. For more data, check out the IMDB.
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STUFF TO WATCH FOR!! :::------
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....Casio Keyboards: The sound of cheese.
....Funny felt hats...of the future!
....In space, however, explosions are quite audable, unlike screams.
....Tictac! Beard guy just popped a breathmint. Wants to meet Death with fresh breath, i guess.
....Nice credits. We have the popcorn floating around, the cup and candybar should be along soon...
....WIZ: Earth's all powerful computer. Can cure ypur urineary problims, and shine your floor, too!
....Hero slugs doughy dude. Maby he's the guy who designed the uniforms...
....Capt. Hamilton. He has J.T. Kirk written all over his underoos..uh,.. uniform..er...
....Spacewalking to the sound of a plucked mandolin? Or maby a plucked chicken...i'd take the chicken, that would mean dinner was in the offing...
....Spaceman Peter Sigura: Space wuss! He disobeys orders, gets acid on his pressure suit, and starts whineing and crying a full 3 minets BEFORE the acid actualy gets through the suit! Oh, die like a man, ya puss!
....Don't save Sigura, Capt..he's as usefull as Dr. Zacary Smith!
....Hey, the rescue actualy took 3 min, 10secs...i counted. How offen does that happen?
....Beard boy: Specialty, trick food eating.
...."Good.Send an airship at once". Is the Hindenburg rated for 0 atmosphear?
....Space sex: Does the fancy clowing ball count as a "Full Body Vibrator?"
....No wonder Capt. Kirk was so horny! Just when things get started, the dang bridge calls! call it "Menace interruptus."
....Attacked by huge silver hubcaps. Did Ed Wood ever go to Italy?
....Journalists of the future all wear uniforms?
....Stop spinning the camera! The audience is getting nausious!
....If they crash, those seat straps are just gonna squish her melons. Ouch, thats gotta hurt!
...."Its cold..dark..inhospitable.there are also craters. it almost looks as if the atmosphear is frozen"...translation: They are orbiting New Jersey in January.
....Oh for...this guy wanders off, on a strange planet...where no one knows what awaits...without telling anyone he's going...over the hill, into the darkness...he's a walking darwin award! Anyone that dumb DESERVES to get eaten!
....Numbnuts...in...spaaaaace!
....Attacked by a cheap toy robot, filmed in close up.
....He died with his stupid felt hat on.
....Her space age moniter is a bug zapper!
....Ahhhh, blue meanies!..or, elves,...and they are wearing speedos! Ahhhh!
....Marvin the Paranoid Android is p**sed!
....When Journalist panic.
....Bored Scotts space git.
....Robot roars rip R&R!
....The mouth light of the computer is out of sync with the english sound track, in ITALY, however!...
....Tin Toy Tyrant takes trama, explodes expansivly...
....Awww, go back to the classical music...Casio sucks!
....Oh for...this crew is a bunch of amatures! Shoot, run, or throw something at it! Don't JUST die screaming! Sheesh!
....Ewwww, evil nose loogey!
....The ooooold airlock routine...wait..arn't they still on the Bridge?...da heck?...
....and, finaly(yea)...So, the ending has "Colossis, the forbin project" mateing with "Planet of the Vampires"....o-key...good case for birth control...
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----- Flangepart says: Check it out! High MST rateing, oh yes...can't wait to finish its sister disc, "War of the robots". -----------------------
----- This movie makes me wish Best Brains were still doing busness. ----  If movies were cows, this one would require serious milking!...well..get to it!--------------------------------- Back to you, Andrew!------------------------------------------------------

[Damien]

You would think if they really wanted to rip off Star Wars at a good way was to make The Good, The Bad and The Ugly with a cast of human/ and space aliens...

I guess that some of these film makers believe that a SF movie requires Space... Deep Space... Boring and Deep Space... :D

[Scott]

Flangepart, I agree. Those felt hats have to go and would someone put that bearded guy in charge.

Damien: Deep boring space. That was to funny.

Again this movie truely belongs on the review page at badmovies.org.