Why do women keep taking back crappy ex boy friends

[BTM]

If anyone's interested in the counterpoint to this argument, you can check out http://www.heartless-b***hes.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

I don't agree with everything she says here, but it makes for interesting reading.

[HappyGilmore]

I don't understand women at all.  Quite frankly, in my 26 years, I've gotten to the point where I pretty much sterotype them all as insecure shrews who only care about looks and status as opposed to having any kind of 'real' relationship with a person.  They contradict themselves all the time.  Frankly, I avoid any kind of solid discussion or conversation with them at all anymore.  Takes all the stress out of your life, honestly.

[JaseSF]

I really don't think all women are bad. Sure some are but certainly not all. My own girlfriend is a sweetheart. The women on this board seem to be some of the nicest and most honest ladies I've ever come across. I'm sure in the case of some of these so-called "nice guys", it's rather obvious to many women if said guy is sucking up with the praise and compliments just hoping to score attention, a date, a kiss, whatever or the guy who buys all the gifts - that these guys deep down have ulterior motives for taking said actions. In many cases, these fellows simply haven't found their place in the world and aren't secure enough yet in themselves to simply be themselves around women treating women as often unattainable objects of desire instead of as real human beings. Not saying all nice guys are like that either. It just seems to me that most guys who play at being too nice are often a bit phony or simply aren't comfortable enough around women to just be themselves.

[Mr. DS]

I married a nice guy.   

And we're all jealous of him.   

[HappyGilmore]

I really don't think all women are bad. Sure some are but certainly not all. My own girlfriend is a sweetheart. The women on this board seem to be some of the nicest and most honest ladies I've ever come across. I'm sure in the case of some of these so-called "nice guys", it's rather obvious to many women if said guy is sucking up with the praise and compliments just hoping to score attention, a date, a kiss, whatever or the guy who buys all the gifts - that these guys deep down have ulterior motives for taking said actions. In many cases, these fellows simply haven't found their place in the world and aren't secure enough yet in themselves to simply be themselves around women treating women as often unattainable objects of desire instead of as real human beings. Not saying all nice guys are like that either. It just seems to me that most guys who play at being too nice are often a bit phony or simply aren't comfortable enough around women to just be themselves.

I don't feel women are 'bad', so to speak.  Just completely irrational in their thinking, completely acting without thinking about what their actions are gonna do to the guy.  I'm not saying all 'nice guys' are completely innocent either. 

I know in my case, well, frankly, I wasn't particularly being phony or uncomfortable around women to be myself.  Frankly, I made the mistake of trusting people beyond a reasonable amount.  Frankly, I'm a a point where I don't trust ANYBODY, regardless.  I don't open up to anyone, because eventually, you wind up hurt.

[Jim H]

If anyone's interested in the counterpoint to this argument, you can check out http://www.heartless-b***hes.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

I don't agree with everything she says here, but it makes for interesting reading.

She certainly has a point about the complaints from some "nice guys" I've known.  It still doesn't come close to excusing or explaining the many women I've seen who remain with men who treat them like garbage.  I've seen men in relationships with women who treat them like crap, but it rarely lasts that long - usually women who treat men that badly end up leaving them, actually.  And it doesn't happen nearly as often.

I think Newt pretty much hit the nail on the head on this one.

[JaseSF]

Well I think sometimes too there's an issue of abuse leading to control with some women who stay with these bastards who treat them like garbage. I've known a couple of cases like that and in both, the woman was so run down by the dirtbag guy that she believed herself worthless and not capable of doing any better. Thankfully both women got out of it and ended up with decent guys. I know there are probably other threats being thrown at some of these unfortunate women too who are in a bad place and don't know how to get back out of it.

[3mnkids]

Well I think sometimes too there's an issue of abuse leading to control with some women who stay with these bastards who treat them like garbage. I've known a couple of cases like that and in both, the woman was so run down by the dirtbag guy that she believed herself worthless and not capable of doing any better. Thankfully both women got out of it and ended up with decent guys. I know there are probably other threats being thrown at some of these unfortunate women too who are in a bad place and don't know how to get back out of it.

Exactly. The biggest danger to a woman in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave.Not only are they physically and emotionally beat down but usually the husband/boyfriend will alienate her family and friends so she has no one but him. There are many reasons why some women stay in these relationships. Its not unusual for these women to come from abusive homes. Watching their father beat their mother does damage. For girls, they find someone just like dad. For boys, they become dad. Not all of course but it does happen.

[The Burgomaster]

My ex kicked me out in 2004 and never took me back, so 

I hope you were at least able to take all your underpants with you . . .

[Doggett]

My ex kicked me out in 2004 and never took me back, so 

I hope you were at least able to take all your underpants with you . . .

He left them there as revenge... 

[Trevor]

My ex kicked me out in 2004 and never took me back, so 

I hope you were at least able to take all your underpants with you . . .

All I left her with was a bad smell and a bad impression. 

[HappyGilmore]

Well I think sometimes too there's an issue of abuse leading to control with some women who stay with these bastards who treat them like garbage. I've known a couple of cases like that and in both, the woman was so run down by the dirtbag guy that she believed herself worthless and not capable of doing any better. Thankfully both women got out of it and ended up with decent guys. I know there are probably other threats being thrown at some of these unfortunate women too who are in a bad place and don't know how to get back out of it.

My aunt was in an abusive relationship.  None of my aunts or uncles knew for a while, but eventually, she had a kid, and the prick went after my 6 month old cousin, and broke my aunt's arm.  My relatives showed up in the middle of the afternoon with two trucks, threw her and my cousin in one, and threw all their clothes in the other, and got them out of there.  Nobody could figure out why she stayed, as the childhood was a relatively normal one, no abusive father or anything.  Sad thing is, a lot of women don't wisen up and get out, and there's stories where it ends very badly.