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Savage Planet

Started by Andrew, October 18, 2010, 06:07:04 AM

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Andrew

After travelling 20,000 light years across the universe to an alien planet, a team of explorers is menaced by bears. The bears aren't purple.  They don't have tentacles or glowing eyes.  They're just...bears.

Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org

A Teletubby


rjschwarz

Suprised the review didn't mention that the bears were all stock footage. At least that's how I remember it. Nobody actually interrelates with a bear. Perhaps a bear arm, but not a bear. A guy in a bear suit might have had some humor value at least.

InformationGeek

A movie about tons of killer bears sounds like a fun time (I am sucker for all things killer animal related after all), but it seems to be that you have found this movie to be bad.  Is it because of cliches, the faulty science, and or an over abundance of earth bears trying and failing hard at being space bears?
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

Jack

When this premiered on the Sci-Fi Channel, they advertised it all week as if there were some really terrifying aliens on the alien planet.  Then we got bears.   :lookingup:  I think my favorite part was at the end when the "good" woman took full credit for the discovery of the green goop, even though she spent the entire movie trying to prevent the bad guy from bringing it back to earth.  Or something like that - it's not really worth remembering   :teddyr:
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho

Ed, Ego and Superego

Here's an odd juxtaposition...My 3 year old is a fan of Caillou on Sprout.   One of the episodes is about him sorting out a problem with his friends... One wants to pretend to be bears, the other wants to be astronauts.  Guess what their compromise is:

Two astronausts fly across the galaxy to land on a planet populated by bears! 

No one gets eaten at all.

-Ed
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes

dreibel

I remember a comment about this flick at the Stomp Tokyo reader review board that made an interesting suggestion to improve it - add new footage with Stephen Colbert as his space jockey character Tek Janssen  blowing away the bears with your normal Sci-Fi  CGI effects ('cause we all know Stephen's stand on bears! "Eat plasma, you GODLESS KILLING MACHINE!") Add some scantily clad space bimbos breathily moaning Oh Tek! It's obvious you've had lots of girlfriends.....", and you're golden......

Andrew

Quote from: rjschwarz on October 18, 2010, 08:58:10 AM
Suprised the review didn't mention that the bears were all stock footage. At least that's how I remember it. Nobody actually interrelates with a bear. Perhaps a bear arm, but not a bear. A guy in a bear suit might have had some humor value at least.

I think that they used footage of a trained bear, and it might have appeared in one scene with the guy who gets upset after it eats half (the lower half) of his girlfriend.  There is a scene where they surrounded Cain and Allison by using two computer copies of the same bear.  Maybe they are multi-dimensional people-eating alien bears.

Quote from: InformationGeek on October 18, 2010, 11:57:47 AM
A movie about tons of killer bears sounds like a fun time (I am sucker for all things killer animal related after all), but it seems to be that you have found this movie to be bad.  Is it because of cliches, the faulty science, and or an over abundance of earth bears trying and failing hard at being space bears?

It's just boring.  The writing is terrible, there aren't any good lines, and the acting is bland.

Quote from: dreibel on October 18, 2010, 07:41:15 PM
I remember a comment about this flick at the Stomp Tokyo reader review board that made an interesting suggestion to improve it - add new footage with Stephen Colbert as his space jockey character Tek Janssen  blowing away the bears with your normal Sci-Fi  CGI effects ('cause we all know Stephen's stand on bears! "Eat plasma, you GODLESS KILLING MACHINE!") Add some scantily clad space bimbos breathily moaning Oh Tek! It's obvious you've had lots of girlfriends.....", and you're golden......

One of the security team guys shows off a super special laser weapon early on, but it never gets used in the film.  When they arrive on the planet all of their gear gets scattered and they either never find the kill-o-zap-5000 blaster, or else they do find the gun, but the batteries are never found.
Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org

Indyfrick

Ed,

The availability and unlimited 24/7 access on On Demand cable to Caillou should be somehow made into a horror movie. I saw the episode you mention, as I have seen most episodes aired. Caillou makes me confused, angry, frustrated, occasionally incontinent, and filled with a rage I never knew existed.

Off the topic I know, just sharing I guess.

Ed, Ego and Superego

Quote from: Indyfrick on October 20, 2010, 11:19:07 AM
Ed,

The availability and unlimited 24/7 access on On Demand cable to Caillou should be somehow made into a horror movie. I saw the episode you mention, as I have seen most episodes aired. Caillou makes me confused, angry, frustrated, occasionally incontinent, and filled with a rage I never knew existed.

Off the topic I know, just sharing I guess.
Compared to most of the train wrecks of small kids TV, Caillou is quiet and sane.  I'll take it.
-Ed
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes

MexiGojira

So, in resume, this is Colbert's worst nightmare, a planet ruled by bears, God help him if the beasts develops space travel.

Raffine

I saw this on SyFy (sic) a couple of years ago. I'm sometimes slow on the uptake, so I sat through about three quarters of the thing before I realized: "It's just bears. It's just gonna be bears. Just bears."
If you're an Andy Milligan fan there's no hope for you.

InformationGeek

Quote from: Andrew on October 20, 2010, 06:21:20 AM
Quote from: InformationGeek on October 18, 2010, 11:57:47 AM
A movie about tons of killer bears sounds like a fun time (I am sucker for all things killer animal related after all), but it seems to be that you have found this movie to be bad.  Is it because of cliches, the faulty science, and or an over abundance of earth bears trying and failing hard at being space bears?

It's just boring.  The writing is terrible, there aren't any good lines, and the acting is bland.

So basic Sci-Fi/Sy-Fy original movie then?
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

Dennis

Several years ago I too watched this film on the Saturday SciFi movie of the week, the trailers for the film did not actually show the bears, just the fate of some of the explorers. I feel that even for a "B" movie this was false advertising. On the plus side however it has given Poogie something to more or less berate me with ever since that night.
Example, "Why do you insist on watching this stuff, this is just like that bear movie, and you know it's going to be that way yet you watch this *!$% every week, you crack me up."
My wife has always been entertained by my reactions to this caliber of cinematic art.

Reach for the heavens in hope for the future for all that we can be, not what we are. Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.

BTM


This film sounds completely unbearable.
"Some people mature, some just get older." -Andrew Vachss