Riddles

[Olivia Bauer]

Anyway... Back to the riddles...

[The Burgomaster]

A father and son get in a car crash. The two are sent to separate hospitals.

The doctor comes in to operate on the son. The doctor refuses to operate saying "I cannot operate on this boy. He's my son!"

Who is the doctor?

His mother.

THANK YOU!! NOBODY EVER GETS THAT ONE!

This was on ALL IN THE FAMILY about 38 years ago, so I always get it!

[Flick James]

A father and son get in a car crash. The two are sent to separate hospitals.

The doctor comes in to operate on the son. The doctor refuses to operate saying "I cannot operate on this boy. He's my son!"

Who is the doctor?

His mother.

It was also in an episode of The Cosby Show.

THANK YOU!! NOBODY EVER GETS THAT ONE!

This was on ALL IN THE FAMILY about 38 years ago, so I always get it!

[Allhallowsday]

This one hasn't been solved:
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant's fart??

[Raffine]

A father and son get in a car crash. The two are sent to separate hospitals.

The doctor comes in to operate on the son. The doctor refuses to operate saying "I cannot operate on this boy. He's my son!"

Who is the doctor?

His mother.

THANK YOU!! NOBODY EVER GETS THAT ONE!

For some reason in a high school math class a teacher started the class by asking that to us. Years later I still don't know why she did.

That joke was a running gag in an episode of All In The Family about Gloria's new friend who is a militant 'Woman's Libber".

[Olivia Bauer]

This one hasn't been solved:
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant's fart??

Sounds like the beginning of a joke to me. I can think of many differences. A saloon gives out liqour is made of wood, is a building, too many right answers.

[Newt]

This one hasn't been solved:
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant's fart??

Ahem: (and only because I have kids) One's a bar room and the other is a BAROOOOM!

Try this:

The Maker does not need it, the Buyer does not use it and the User does so without seeing it.  What is it?

[RCMerchant]

This one hasn't been solved:
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant's fart??

Ahem: (and only because I have kids) One's a bar room and the other is a BAROOOOM!

Try this:

The Maker does not need it, the Buyer does not use it and the User does so without seeing it.  What is it?

My ass! 

[bob]

How do you take a condom off an elephant?

With hands?

[Allhallowsday]

This one hasn't been solved:
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant's fart??

Ahem: (and only because I have kids) One's a bar room and the other is a BAROOOOM!

It's a riddle that's a pun that's a joke.   

[Olivia Bauer]

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.

[ghouck]

That's a downer, though. Ghouck, you've got me stumped. How do you get a condom off an elephant?

You take the 'Y' out of SAY, and the 'F' out of WAY.

[indianasmith]

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.

Darkness!

OK, here's one that stumps my students every year.

Three men check into a hotel room on  a business trip.  The bellhop tells them: "That will be $30."  They decide to split the cost evenly, so they each give him $10.    He takes the money to the manager who says "We are running a special this week - that room is only $25!"  He hands the bellhop five $1 bills and tells him to take their men the change.  On the way upstairs, the bellhop reasons: "There is no way to split five ones evenly among three guys.  And they didn't tip me  earlier!"  So he stuffed $2 in his pocket and gave them back each $1.

Now . . . each man paid $10, and each got $1 back.  So they paid $9 for the room apiece.

9 times 3 is 27.
Plus the two the bellhop kept is 29.
Where is the missing dollar?

[ghouck]

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.

Darkness!

OK, here's one that stumps my students every year.

Three men check into a hotel room on  a business trip.  The bellhop tells them: "That will be $30."  They decide to split the cost evenly, so they each give him $10.    He takes the money to the manager who says "We are running a special this week - that room is only $25!"  He hands the bellhop five $1 bills and tells him to take their men the change.  On the way upstairs, the bellhop reasons: "There is no way to split five ones evenly among three guys.  And they didn't tip me  earlier!"  So he stuffed $2 in his pocket and gave them back each $1.

Now . . . each man paid $10, and each got $1 back.  So they paid $9 for the room apiece.

9 times 3 is 27.
Plus the two the bellhop kept is 29.
Where is the missing dollar?

It's not missing. They paid 25 for the room, plus the two the bellhop kept, that's 27. The money they paid includes the 2 the bellhop kept, but not the 3 he gave them back.

[Raffine]

Why do kittens make good television announcers?