Oh crap, I'm in the newspaper!

[Trevor]

Congrats Trevor, but what the hell is a huldigingsboodskap lewer? 

Thanks, Circus: that phrase means that I will deliver (lewer) an honouring speech (huldigingsboodskap). Here's my speech, translated from Afrikaans:


HONOURING OF JANS RAUTENBACH


Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and a special good evening to Jans and Almerie Rautenbach. It's my great pleasure to stand here tonight as a guest of the Innibos Festival and the DAC and NFVSA to honour my friend and mentor, Jans Rautenbach.

So where do I start honouring the man without embarassing him? I know: the Klein Karoo National Arts Festival in Oudtshoorn in April 1998. A retrospective screening of the pioneering work of JR and Emil Nofal was being held and I had to endure a ten hour bus ride down to Oudtshoorn, complete with clucking chickens on the roof of the bus and moo-ing cows in the trailer behind the bus. That is just a joke: the KKNAF's transport arrangements were excellent ~ it was just a pity that the busdriver almost had a coronary when I asked to load approximately fifty reels of film onto the bus. I can swear like a sailor when things go wrong but I heard the worst language I have ever heard on that day: not from the driver but from my poor colleague who had to assist in loading the films onto the bus. Talking about those 50 reels of film: I have here all of Mr Rautenbach's films on DVD in one holder. Technology is truly a wonderful thing.

When I arrived in Oudtshoorn, the enduring memory of that festival is: I have never worked so hard in my entire life. I had seven shows a day from 10h00 to 22h00 each day and only got home at midnight each night, then I had to be up at 07h00 each morning to be at the cinema by 07h30 ~ the end result was that my underpants, socks and shoes ran ahead of me each morning to the cinema, all the way down the Oudtshoorn main street. By the third day of the festival however, I was 'into it' and was managing well until the first night screening of Mr Rautenbach's Jannie Totsiens. I was standing at the refreshment stand, chatting to the person behind it when all of a sudden, I noticed that a VIP had just entered the cinema and was asked "What's wrong? You've just gone pale." The VIP was Mr Rautenbach, who will no doubt remember that we had to halt the screening that night as the cinema hadn't enough reels to put the prints on. After the screening, I was thankful to say that I received a handshake and a hug from the man soon to become my film mentor.

Mr Rautenbach and myself have come a long way together: JANNIE TOTSIENS shook me the first time I saw it, KATRINA made me cry – especially the end -, DIE KANDIDAAT filled me with respect for filmmakers who dared to make a political thriller at the height of apartheid, ONGEWENSTE VREEMDELING with its' eerie, shocking ending and BROER MATIE, the ending of which almost always leaves me misty-eyed. I always thought it was James Robb's cinematography which was a little out of focus until someone told me "It's not the film, you idiot: it's your eyes." DIE KANDIDAAT also got me into serious trouble once: I screened films at the 2007 Volksbladfees and as usual then as now, I talked to the audiences before each screening, telling them about who I am, what I do and what the NFVSA can do for them. A lady there asked me about DIE KANDIDAAT and I explained that it was SA's first political thriller and was also an expose of the feared Afrikaner Broederbond. On hearing this fact, another lady in the audience got up, glared at me and sat down again. I asked her what was wrong: her exact words to me were: "You don't come all this way to Bloemfontein to talk nonsense about the Broederbond. Be careful."  I tried to explain but she wouldn't listen: I guess all I can say about that is Oops.

In conclusion, I would like to say that our honouree tonight has always postively encouraged and mentored me - none of his films has ever left me emotionally untouched – and he has always let me know that I can, instead of listening to those who told me (and continue to) that I cannot. In the film The Yakuza, Robert Mitchum says a very appropriate phrase to his Japanese friend letting him know how others see him and I would like to use those words, plus some of my own to let Mr Rautenbach know how I see him. "You are greatly loved and respected by all your family." You are also greatly loved and respected by those you have mentored, especially people like myself who were always told and have always been told that they cannot achieve anything with their lives. You, David Millin, Vincent Cox and my parents have proved those people wrong in your mentorship of me and my life's motto is thus "Don't tell me that I can't. I can and I will, because I can."

May there never be a WILD SEASON in your life.
May KING HENDRIK remain on his throne always and never be concerned that someone will blow his longdrop up.
May you always be the chosen KANDIDAAT.
May KATRINA always come home with the church bells announcing her arrival.
May we never say TOTSIENS to JANNIE.
May you have more in your life than just the LAP that PAPPA sowed.
If I come and visit you in De Rust, may I never be the ONGEWENSTE VREEMDELING there.
May there always be love and laughter in your life, even EENDAG OP 'N REENDAG.
May STEFAANS future always be BLINK
And may BROER MATIE's morning gallop always be very, very, special.

Very, very special: just like you.



Please note that my underpants get a special mention. 

[Trevor]

Congratulations Trevor, although at first I'd thought you'd be in the comics section.

[Psycho Circus]

You had to get "underpants" into your speech somewhere didn't you!? 

[Trevor]

You had to get "underpants" into your speech somewhere didn't you!? 

Yes, I did, didn't I? 

[Trevor]

This event is getting closer and closer and I wish it was here already. 

[Raffine]

Congrats, Trevor! A fine speech.

One question: what is the Afrikaans word for "underpants"?

I'm guessing "underpaants".

[Trevor]

Congrats, Trevor! A fine speech.

One question: what is the Afrikaans word for "underpants"?

I'm guessing "underpaants".

Close, very close: the word is ONDER [under] BROEK [pants] believe it or not.