Unlikely Endings To Popular Movies

Flick James · October 04, 2011, 11:39:03 AM

Despite great risk and the likelihood of some or all of them dying in the process, they all make it out alive, join the Inglorious Basterds, bring help bring about an alternate ending to WWII.

Point Break:

A rooking FBI agent from Ohio, who mysteriously already sounds like a surfer from California, is thus successfully able to impersonate one to infiltrate a group of renegade surfers who rob banks to finance an endless summer. He and his crusty veteran partner...

Mr. DS · October 04, 2011, 05:41:39 PM

have a gay experience and end up herding sheep in Montana.

Caddyshack

A bunch of jokers and underachievers take on a bunch of rich snobs in a golf tournament...

Flick James · October 04, 2011, 05:56:30 PM

...and get utterly defeated as the snobs use their considerable resources and political influence to destroy what small dreams they had. They each go their own separate ways, crushed and demoralized, most of them taking up lives of menial labor, crime, drug abuse, or prostitution. The final sequence shows one of the central characters selling his golf clubs at a pawn shop for the price of his next fix.

(Wow, that got really dark, didn't it?)

Groundhog Day:

An egotistical t.v. weatherman is forced to face the same day over and over in a small Pennsylvania town that he despises, on a holiday he despises even more, until he is able to earn the love and respect of the town and the woman he has his eyes on.

AndyC · October 04, 2011, 09:37:11 PM

...at least that is the fantasy he has concocted for himself. The endless repetition destroys his sanity and forces him to turn inward, taking refuge in a fantasy world where he is happy. In reality, he sits catatonic and drooling as the same day passes again and again and again, perhaps for all eternity.

Jaws

A killer shark terrorizes a small coastal tourist town. The chief of police, a marine biologist and an eccentric shark hunter head out in a boat to catch it.

Mr. DS · October 05, 2011, 06:45:19 AM

Which they do and then they cruelly train the shark to do tricks for the vacationing crowd. One boy makes a connection with the shark and realizes all it wants is to be set free so through determination and sheer will, the boy helps the shark escape.

Beverly Hills Cop

A wise cracking Detroit police officer heads to Beverly Hills to find the people responsible for murdering his friend...

AndyC · October 05, 2011, 08:00:12 AM

His body later washes up on a beach in San Diego.

Fantastic Voyage

A surgical team in a submarine are reduced to microscopic size to perform life-saving brain surgery on a comatose scientist carrying secrets of military importance.

akiratubo · October 07, 2011, 04:54:09 PM

Quote from: AndyC on October 05, 2011, 08:00:12 AMFantastic Voyage

A surgical team in a submarine are reduced to microscopic size to perform life-saving brain surgery on a comatose scientist carrying secrets of military importance.

But as soon as they are shrunk, they die horribly because their mass cannot be forced into a space that small. Ironically, the comatose scientist wakes up a few days later, perfectly all right.

The Omega Man

Most of the world's population has died from a horrible disease. All but a few of those who remain have become vampires. Only one man has the courage, the firepower, the will, the sheer ego to fight back ...

JaseSF · October 09, 2011, 02:00:34 PM

(Actually they were more like mutants in the Omega Man)

until he eventually came to the realization that he was a bigger monster than Matthias and his Flock, a freakish loner who could never join the crowd. He set off a nuclear bomb and destroyed them all.

12 Monkeys:

A man is sent back in time to try and prevent the spread of a contagion that wipes out most of mankind....

bob · December 13, 2011, 08:14:39 AM

Quote from: JaseSF on October 09, 2011, 02:00:34 PM
(Actually they were more like mutants in the Omega Man)

until he eventually came to the realization that he was a bigger monster than Matthias and his Flock, a freakish loner who could never join the crowd. He set off a nuclear bomb and destroyed them all.

12 Monkeys:

A man is sent back in time to try and prevent the spread of a contagion that wipes out most of mankind....

however he gets distracted by a disco dancing duck who he asks to marry him.He agrees and they live happily ever after.

The Deer Hunter:

Three friends hunt deer after a wedding then head to Vietnam to fight in the war when....

Mr. DS · December 14, 2011, 07:07:07 PM

they find out Bambi was the head of VC and boy was he p**sed.

Cast Away

A Fedex worked survives after a plane crash to find himself washed up on a deserted island...

ulthar · December 14, 2011, 11:05:43 PM

Only the island is not really deserted, and he finds a couples getaway resort operating a lucrative business. He gets a job as a bartender and, uh, ends up making more in 'tips' from horny couples after hours than he EVER made at Fed Ex.

THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER

During the Cold War, experienced Russian sub captain steals nuclear sub with stealth capability and plans to defect to the US ...

Trevor · December 15, 2011, 06:41:22 AM

... in order to escape the tyranny of the USSR and the itchiness of the undies there.

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST

Four bozo filmmakers travel to the Amazon, cause mucho problems and...

Mr. DS · December 15, 2011, 09:49:38 PM

find out human flesh makes great taco meat and is surprisingly healthy. The team ushers in a new "white meat" destroying obesity in it's tracks.

Easy Money

A slob gets a chance to inherit millions from his uptight deceased mother in law if he cleans up his act...

bob · January 07, 2012, 10:36:47 PM

Quote from: DS on December 15, 2011, 09:49:38 PM
find out human flesh makes great taco meat and is surprisingly healthy. The team ushers in a new "white meat" destroying obesity in it's tracks.

Easy Money

A slob gets a chance to inherit millions from his uptight deceased mother in law if he cleans up his act...

and he does so after joining a dance school and falling in love with the instructor.

2001: A Space Odyssey

After shutting down HAL Dave Bowman leaves Discovery One in an EVA pod ......

JaseSF · January 08, 2012, 08:27:37 PM

and travels through a portal into another dimension finding himself the only man on a planet full of beautfiul young women. He lived there happily ever after.

Raising Arizona

Finding they cannot concieve children of their own, a desperate couple [an ex-con and an ex-cop] decide to kidnap one of furniture tycoon Nathan Arizona's quintuplets but complications ensue when everyone else also seems to be hunting for the kid including his parents, a relentless bounty hunter and even escaped convicts....