THUNDER OF GIGANTIC SERPENT (1988)

[The Burgomaster]

Here's an obscure Chinese laugh riot you should put on your "need to see" list.  It starts out with a group of gangsters (people in the movie refer to them as "terrorists," but they seemed more like gangsters to me) talking about stealing a secret growth formula.  The main villain makes a typical ranting speech about how powerful he will be and how nations all kneel before him if he possesses the formula.  Then he throws his head back and laughs like this, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

The gangsters attack the laboratory where the formula is being tested.  One scientist escapes with a contraption that looks like a fish tank, but her car crashes and a little girl named Ting-Ting finds the contraption.  She brings it home and puts her small pet snake in it.  Then we see jolts of electricity and the snake instantly grows and becomes a large snake-puppet!  At one point, Ting-Ting climbs on the snake's neck and rides it like a horse!

Meanwhile, there are a few scenes that may have been filmed separately and edited into the movie later.  There's a guy in camouflage fatigues and a red beret who calls himself Ted Fast (played by Pierre Kirby).  He goes around getting in gun battles and martial arts fights with the gangsters.

Eventually, the snake grows even larger and there are several scenes of the hilarious snake puppet slithering through sets of miniature cities as people run away from rear-projection tidal waves, fires, and  crumbling buildings!

Ting-Ting gets kidnapped by the gangsters and her giant pet snake comes to the rescue.  One of the gangsters whacks the girl across the face with the remote control for a television and says, "I have ways of making you talk!"

This movie has some of the funniest dialogue and cheapest special effects of any movie I've ever seen.  The snake puppet even nods its head "yes" or "no" when Ting-Ting asks him questions!  This movie would appeal to 6-year-old children, but there's too much violence and swearing for little kids.  Watch it if you dare!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX9U3-7_cE8

[Flangepart]

MST3K grade indeed.
And that can be a saving grace.

[Jack]

I'm pretty used to seeing jet fighters flying at 35 MPH, but a Cessna firing tracer rounds?  That IS a first!   

[The Burgomaster]

UPDATE:  I forgot to mention the part where Ted Fast throws his beret like a frisbee and knocks a gun out of a guy's hand . . .

[Flangepart]

UPDATE:  I forgot to mention the part where Ted Fast throws his beret like a frisbee and knocks a gun out of a guy's hand . . .

ODD JOB: The early years.

[Criswell]

This movie looks like it was made for me.