Unlikely Endings To Popular Movies

[akiratubo]

Finding they cannot concieve children of their own, a desperate couple [an ex-con and an ex-cop] decide to kidnap one of furniture tycoon Nathan Arizona's quintuplets but complications ensue when everyone else also seems to be hunting for the kid including his parents, a relentless bounty hunter and even escaped convicts....

... the baby turns out to have superhuman powers and, in a moment of stress, destroys the entire earth with his powerful telekinesis.

King Kong

A film crew travels to a remote island where they find dinosaurs and a giant ape ...

[claws]

King Kong

A film crew travels to a remote island where they find dinosaurs and a giant ape ...

... and the director names his footage "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" but cuts out all scenes involving the giant ape. The ape sues the director but they settle out of court. Eight years later Peter Jackson hires the ape to star in his own movie, and the rest is history.

Imitation of Life (1959)

A struggling young actress with a six-year-old daughter sets up housekeeping with a homeless black widow and her light-skinned eight-year-old daughter who rejects her mother by trying to pass for white ...

[bob]

King Kong

A film crew travels to a remote island where they find dinosaurs and a giant ape ...

... and the director names his footage "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" but cuts out all scenes involving the giant ape. The ape sues the director but they settle out of court. Eight years later Peter Jackson hires the ape to star in his own movie, and the rest is history.

Imitation of Life (1959)

A struggling young actress with a six-year-old daughter sets up housekeeping with a homeless black widow and her light-skinned eight-year-old daughter who rejects her mother by trying to pass for white ...

bread. Remarkibly no one notices that she is in fact not bread.

Dr. Strangelove

United States Air Force Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper is the commander of Burpelson Air Force Base, which hosts the 843rd Bomb Wing of nuclear-armed B-52s. The base's aircraft are currently part of a SAC airborne alert force, holding at their fail-safe locations only hours from Soviet airspace. Ripper calls Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, a Royal Air Force exchange officer serving as General Ripper's executive officer, and has him place the base on alert and issue attack orders to the aircraft because Ripper can not longer sit back and allow the communist conspiracy to sap and impurify.....

[Nakuyabi]

Dr. Strangelove

United States Air Force Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper is the commander of Burpelson Air Force Base, which hosts the 843rd Bomb Wing of nuclear-armed B-52s. The base's aircraft are currently part of a SAC airborne alert force, holding at their fail-safe locations only hours from Soviet airspace. Ripper calls Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, a Royal Air Force exchange officer serving as General Ripper's executive officer, and has him place the base on alert and issue attack orders to the aircraft because Ripper can not longer sit back and allow the communist conspiracy to sap and impurify.....

...his television programming. Since it's the middle of the night, the President is off golfing in Great Britain, and no one else has the authority to counter his orders, the bombers are all deep into the Soviet Union and beginning their bombing runs by the time anyone notices the General was frankly just having a bad day and over-reacted to the cancellation of his favorite show. The attack catches the Soviet Union completely by surprise, and it manages to shoot down only two of the B-52s before it gets nuked into oblivion. While Eastern Europe collapses into anarchy, General Jack D. Ripper is put on trial before a military tribunal, ruled not guilty by reason of insanity, and committed to a padded cell for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, everyone north of the Canadian border is forced to emigrate south or freeze to death, and the President takes up golfing in the now temperate climate of the USA's new 51st state, Cuba.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Returning home from his effort to procure a golden idol from some ancient temple ruins in South America, Indiana Jones is informed that the U.S. Government is now hiring him to go get the lost and only recently rediscovered Ark of the Covenant. However, Nazi Germany and his old enemy René Belloq are out to get it too, so the race is on. After he stops by Nepal to pick up his old flame Marion Ravenwood...

[Pacman000]

...and they try to find the Ark.  They don't, but it doesn't matter.  The Nazis forgot to read 1st Samuel Ch. 4-6.  The German populace, sick of the plague of rats, rise up and overthrow their leader.

Battlestar Galactica

Humans, who live in space, are at some sort of diplomatic mission, in some sort of war.  They want to make peace with something called the "Cylons."  The audience wonders why the opening narration didn't fill them in on whats going on.

[claws]

Battlestar Galactica

Humans, who live in space, are at some sort of diplomatic mission, in some sort of war.  They want to make peace with something called the "Cylons."  The audience wonders why the opening narration didn't fill them in on whats going on.

because the Cylons are holding the narrator at ransom. Either way, the mission is called off and "The Company" sends them on the planet LV-426 for colonization.

The Shawshank Redemption

Two imprisoned men bond over a number of years, finding solace and eventual redemption through acts of common decency.

[bob]

Battlestar Galactica

Humans, who live in space, are at some sort of diplomatic mission, in some sort of war.  They want to make peace with something called the "Cylons."  The audience wonders why the opening narration didn't fill them in on whats going on.

because the Cylons are holding the narrator at ransom. Either way, the mission is called off and "The Company" sends them on the planet LV-426 for colonization.

The Shawshank Redemption

Two imprisoned men bond over a number of years, finding solace and eventual redemption through acts of common decency.

They convince the Warden to allow the prisioners to form a choir. The two men are released early as a result where they form sing in church choirs around the country.

[bob]

A Clockwork Orange

Alex DeLarge is the leader of a gang of thugs who raise hell one evening using the old ultra-violence. The following day.....

[Rev. Powell]

A Clockwork Orange

Alex DeLarge is the leader of a gang of thugs who raise hell one evening using the old ultra-violence. The following day.....

he learns that a long-lost uncle left him a fortune in his will, but there's a catch. He has to adopt his 7-year old hell-raiser nephew, Spanky. Can an adorable moppet teach an ultra-violent droog a few lessons about life, and love?

THE GODFATHER

Vito Corleone has made his New York crime family one of the top syndicates in New York. His son Michael wants no part of the family business. One day, Vito has a heart attack in the garden...

[ulthar]

THE GODFATHER

Vito Corleone has made his New York crime family one of the top syndicates in New York. His son Michael wants no part of the family business. One day, Vito has a heart attack in the garden...

After which Michael goes to visit him the hospital and meets a sparky young nurse (played by Jennifer Aniston); the only problem is that she's NOT Italian, and hilarity ensues as they try to keep Vito from finding out about their romance.  The nurse turns out to be an undercover FBI agent whose heart has been softened toward the Corleone Family; she retires from the FBI and she and Michael open a flower shop together.

TOP GUN

Young hot-shot combat pilot punks his way through elite training school where it's learned he's not REALLY the best.  As he learns to control his impulses, his friend is killed in a training accident.  Following some personal growth moments ...

[akiratubo]

Young hot-shot combat pilot punks his way through elite training school where it's learned he's not REALLY the best.  As he learns to control his impulses, his friend is killed in a training accident.  Following some personal growth moments ...

... the hotshot is now freakishly tall and can't fit into the cockpit of a fighter jet.  Saddened, he resigns from the military and becomes a drunk.  A washed-up movie director discovers him passed out in an alley and casts him in a series of movies built around characters who are absurdly tall.  Both of them become rich and famous.  The End.

Star Trek IV

Captain Kirk and crew must travel back in time to find a couple of extinct whales, the only creatures capable of communicating with a mysterious space ship that is causing great havoc on Earth ...

[bob]

Young hot-shot combat pilot punks his way through elite training school where it's learned he's not REALLY the best.  As he learns to control his impulses, his friend is killed in a training accident.  Following some personal growth moments ...

... the hotshot is now freakishly tall and can't fit into the cockpit of a fighter jet.  Saddened, he resigns from the military and becomes a drunk.  A washed-up movie director discovers him passed out in an alley and casts him in a series of movies built around characters who are absurdly tall.  Both of them become rich and famous.  The End.

Star Trek IV

Captain Kirk and crew must travel back in time to find a couple of extinct whales, the only creatures capable of communicating with a mysterious space ship that is causing great havoc on Earth ...

however upon finding the whales they crew along with their spaceship become whale food.

[bob]

Bonnie and Clyde

Bonnie and Clyde are a pair of bank bandits who do so as a means to make money during the Depression. During their crime spree they add members to their crew......

[Pacman000]

These members begin to dispute their wages and hours.  They form a union.  Can these underpaid and overworked workers successfully take on two of the biggest bosses in U.S. history?

TRON

Flynn, a young computer programer, tries to find out how someone stole his games.  In the process, he's teleported to an amazing CGI and rotoscope based world where...

[dolemite]

Where he is picked up as potential malware and is summarily deleted.

The Terminator

A human-looking, apparently unstoppable cyborg with an Austrian accent is sent from the future to kill Sarah Connor...