The official Badmovies.org gross-out thread

[Trevor]

Started by he with the DefCon 10 underpants...... 

I drank out of a freshly opened milk jug this morning: sour, sour taste in my mouth and I nearly puked into the sink. I even brushed my tongue this morning: yuck. 

[Mr. DS]

I hawked up a loogie that was not only foul tasting but chunky the other day.  Seriously you could probably chew it like gum.

[Umaril Has Returned]

Woe be to the person who buys a dozen cream-filled donuts and finds out later that the baker he bought them from was a real j*rk-off....

[tracy]

Woe be to the person who buys a dozen cream-filled donuts and finds out later that the baker he bought them from was a real j*rk-off....

Um....no dessert,please.

[indianasmith]

Years ago, at a party, I set down a styrofoam cup with my soda in it so I could do a turn on the dance floor.  Came back, picked up my cup, and took a big drink - only to discover it was someone's Skoal spit-cup, not my drink!!!

[RCMerchant]

Years ago, at a party, I set down a styrofoam cup with my soda in it so I could do a turn on the dance floor.  Came back, picked up my cup, and took a big drink - only to discover it was someone's Skoal spit-cup, not my drink!!!

I used to chew Skoal in the early 80's...I was spitting in an empty beer bottle and my freind Johhny Rivas picked it up thing it was his beer-this was a bottle I use for days,it had devoloped a nice green fungi scum ,and Johnny took a big swig of it. He power puked-like in the EXORCIST-projectile vomit-I ran to catch the puke with an empty Chicken Coop bucket. Whatta mess. 

I ate a huge june bug just to gross my neighbor out last year.
I ate redworms while fishing just to gross out my buddy.

[The Burgomaster]

A few years ago, I had a terrible case of diarrhea and splattered the inside of the toilet bowl.  My wife went into the bathroom a few minutes later and all I heard was, "What happened in here?  Did you have a fan under your ass?"

[Trevor]

I hawked up a loogie that was not only foul tasting but chunky the other day.  Seriously you could probably chew it like gum.

That reminds me of the cabbie in Stephen King's IT who spits out of the window and says: "Fella who catches THAT won't have to buy chewing gum for a week." 

[Trevor]

Woe be to the person who buys a dozen cream-filled donuts and finds out later that the baker he bought them from was a real j*rk-off....

Um....no dessert,please.

Same here.... 

[Trevor]

A few years ago, I had a terrible case of diarrhea and splattered the inside of the toilet bowl.  My wife went into the bathroom a few minutes later and all I heard was, "What happened in here?  Did you have a fan under your ass?"

+ 

[Trevor]

In my high school days, there was a vendor who sold cold drinks and Chelsea buns to the children: cold drinks cold and buns delicious. Or at least I thought so, until my friend Aaron Robinson pointed out to me that the vendor had several large pimples on the back of his neck, which he would squeeze and then wipe the residue on the buns. 

I haven't had a Chelsea bun in thirty years: I wonder why? 

[Mofo Rising]

Well, here's a hoary old chestnut (but a fine joke tradition):

"Mommy, mommy, I don't like tomato soup!

"Shut up and eat, we only have it once a month!"

Gross, I know. Go about your daily business.

[Mr. DS]

I used to eat lunch at my old job with a group from my office.   However, the billing dept would show up with their own group and sit down with us.

Long story short, one woman from billing was repulsive in every sense of the manner.   She'd talk in her squeaky voice with her mouth full, lick her fingers after she ate and dressed as though she was actually.......um......attractive.   She wasn't fat mind you but just, awkward shaped.   A shape that doesn't warrant a miniskirt.  The one mind blowing event happened when she talked about her and her boyfriend "making love".   Yes.....she used the term "making love".   shivers...

[RCMerchant]

Long ago I met a girl-I'll call her Bubbles-who usta sniff her armpits all the time. She met some guy -a real idiot who went to work wearing her dress because she told him too-the guy was weird-anyway-she usta describe-in detail-their sexual activities. It was grotesque. And ya know what? This is the gross part-I f**kED HER! 

[Olivia Bauer]

When I was little I ate too many Three Musketeers bars and drank Banana "YooHoo!"

I puked outside a Wendy's and believe me, what came out of my body should have been handled by a haz-mat team. Eww...