My thoughts on a post by WyreWizard

[DrSimonCowell]

Earlier tonight when we had our little DVD/Movie review, I had told WyreWizard about my exploits on this board.  His reaction "Didn't I warn you not to go there?  Those people are out of their minds!"  So I told him "You forget I deal with people like that on a daily basis."  He said "There's a fine line between your patients and the people who visit that board.  But anyways, how's my karma on there?"  I had told him and he raised his eyebrows.  "I guess I should go trolling on that board again so my karma would be brought down!"  Then he laughs maniacally.  Then he told me a particular message he had left on this board I should check out that would show me the depths of the depravity and delusions you people sink to.

That message:  My Favorite TV Commercial Reality Flaws.

In that post, WyreWizard made a claim about how some products are falsely advertised.  Beer, cars and Men's cologne.  But is it the cologne I will be talking about mostly.

I should tell you I've had 4 or 5 patients complain about how Axe and Tag don't work the way they do in the commercials.  One was suicidal because his GF had broke up with him after he used Tag.  Another was upset because he used the product and walked through a crowded city street and not one girl even noticed him!   Now believe it or not, the third patient is a woman who used it.  She was lesbian and interested only in women.  She tried it and got the same results as the first two guys.  Nada, zip, zero, zilch.  No women were attracted to her or even noticed her.

I should also tell you I have been happily married for almost 20 years.  When I was courting my wife, yes I did use colognes and aftershaves.  But none of them (and I mean absolutely NONE) made her lose her mind and be insanely attracted to me!

Now after reading the replies to that post, I had thought "Some of these people can't really be serious!"  It is no wonder WyreWizard calls some of you delusional and depraved.  Know these are not my opinions.  I just think some of you are...strange.

[indianasmith]

What I find bizarre and strange is that anyone would take a ridiculous, over the top, deliberately comedic commercial so seriously.  NO perfume or body splash has that effect!  OF COURSE the commercials are false!

[Chainsawmidget]

Hello, WyreWizard.  Nice to meet your new screen-name. 

[dean]

Strange and proud but in the world of strange I'd say that you're winning, your story about your 'patients' is the best bit of fiction I've read this week.

[Andrew]

Now after reading the replies to that post, I had thought "Some of these people can't really be serious!"  It is no wonder WyreWizard calls some of you delusional and depraved.  Know these are not my opinions.  I just think some of you are...strange.

Let me make this absolutely clear:  if you do this again, I will ban you.  It will not matter if you try to shuffle off responsibility by claiming it was said by another person. 

I really dislike the game you are trying to play.

[Javakoala]

What did we do to cause WyreWizard so much psychic pain?   

[claws]

What did we do to cause WyreWizard so much psychic pain?   

He was already in pain to begin with and his pain continues, obviously.

[Bushma]

Ok, I have to take this in pieces...

There's a fine line between your patients and the people who visit that board.

That's true, I see no need for help.  I'm happy the sick and twisted way I am!

"I guess I should go trolling on that board again so my karma would be brought down!"

I wonder if I can done some sort of forum seance to summon him...

I should tell you I've had 4 or 5 patients complain about how Axe and Tag don't work the way they do in the commercials.  One was suicidal because his GF had broke up with him after he used Tag.  Another was upset because he used the product and walked through a crowded city street and not one girl even noticed him!   Now believe it or not, the third patient is a woman who used it.  She was lesbian and interested only in women.  She tried it and got the same results as the first two guys.  Nada, zip, zero, zilch.  No women were attracted to her or even noticed her.

Ok, well I can clear that up for you.  You did it wrong.  First you need to put an ad in craig's list for "attractive actresses", the you pay each of them $100 to throw themselves at you in public after you clearly spary on Axe.  Then you set a time and meeting place, I prefer a shopping mall.  Then you walk into the set place take out the Axe and spray yourself with it.  Then the women will swarm you.  It's well worth the money and attention!

When I was courting my wife, yes I did use colognes and aftershaves.  But none of them (and I mean absolutely NONE) made her lose her mind and be insanely attracted to me!

AGAIN... you did it wrong.  You used the wrong stuff...

It is no wonder WyreWizard calls some of you delusional and depraved. 

I prefer to view the world the way I like to see it.  It makes more sense that way. 

Know these are not my opinions. 

Just own up to it.  That's like saying "I don't mean to offend you, but you look like a giant turd that's been passed through a human centipede."

I just think some of you are...strange.

Am I strange or am I normal?  Maybe you are strange so you think I'm the strange one?

[Leah]

I should tell you I've had 4 or 5 patients complain about how Axe and Tag don't work the way they do in the commercials.  One was suicidal because his GF had broke up with him after he used Tag.  Another was upset because he used the product and walked through a crowded city street and not one girl even noticed him!   Now believe it or not, the third patient is a woman who used it.  She was lesbian and interested only in women.  She tried it and got the same results as the first two guys.  Nada, zip, zero, zilch.  No women were attracted to her or even noticed her.

Did you ever think that a product can make false claims and have suckers buy from them? Do you have a brain or are you programmed to believe ever friggen thing on the TV? I'm calling BS on this, if you are a professional, you should know that this wouldn't have worked in the first place and told them straight out.

I should also tell you I have been happily married for almost 20 years.  When I was courting my wife, yes I did use colognes and aftershaves.  But none of them (and I mean absolutely NONE) made her lose her mind and be insanely attracted to me!

Now after reading the replies to that post, I had thought "Some of these people can't really be serious!"  It is no wonder WyreWizard calls some of you delusional and depraved.  Know these are not my opinions.  I just think some of you are...strange.

Marketing, do you know the definition of it? If not, here's a one:
the process or technique of promoting, selling, and distributing a product or service
What part has truth in it? None, it's all a ploy to spend your money on s**t you don't need, it's your fault for trying something that doesn't work on most people.

[Bushma]

So far I think that this thread just reaffirms the fact that I could be filth rice if I developed a Sarcasm font for the internet.  Everyone takes things so seriously on the net because there's really no way to tell if it's sarcasm or not.  Think about it.  Wouldn't we have taken this thread a different way if...

I should tell you I've had 4 or 5 patients complain about how Axe and Tag don't work the way they do in the commercials.  One was suicidal because his GF had broke up with him after he used Tag.  Another was upset because he used the product and walked through a crowded city street and not one girl even noticed him!   Now believe it or not, the third patient is a woman who used it.  She was lesbian and interested only in women.  She tried it and got the same results as the first two guys.  Nada, zip, zero, zilch.  No women were attracted to her or even noticed her.

was (and I'm sorry for not correctly quoting you here Doc...)

<Sarcasm>I should tell you I've had 4 or 5 patients complain about how Axe and Tag don't work the way they do in the commercials.  One was suicidal because his GF had broke up with him after he used Tag.  Another was upset because he used the product and walked through a crowded city street and not one girl even noticed him!   Now believe it or not, the third patient is a woman who used it.  She was lesbian and interested only in women.  She tried it and got the same results as the first two guys.  Nada, zip, zero, zilch.  No women were attracted to her or even noticed her.</Sarcasm>

Just knowing it is sarcasm to being with makes much more sense then there being "4 or 5 patients" plus a psychologist (???) who actually believe that using some sort of body spray will make you irresistible to the opposite sex.  If that's true I feel really sorry for those people, because those are the same type of people who give lawyers so much work!  They would be the type of people have to be told at the end of commercials "toys do not actually move on their own".

[Rev. Powell]

So far I think that this thread just reaffirms the fact that I could be filth rice

If it helps, I already think of you as filth rice. 

[Bushma]

So far I think that this thread just reaffirms the fact that I could be filth rice

If it helps, I already think of you as filth rice. 

LOL!  That's what I get for not rereading what I wrote.  "filthy rich" is what I meant, but oh well.

[Umaril Has Returned]

What I find bizarre and strange is that anyone would take a ridiculous, over the top, deliberately comedic commercial so seriously.  NO perfume or body splash has that effect!  OF COURSE the commercials are false!

Really, man...I've been throwing salt over my left shoulder with my right hand for decades every time I spill the salt, and I scratch my palms whenever they itch, and I STILL have yet to become rich! Short and sweet of it, don't believe everything you hear  (unless it's on the Internet....)

[Javakoala]

Axe and Tag...b***h, please.

Everyone knows women lose their s**t over Avon's Deep Woods colonge, but only if it comes in the football shaped bottle.

[Trevor]

What did we do to cause WyreWizard so much psychic pain?   

That was my fault, I think.