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Man Looking For Person Who Shat Down His Chimney

Started by major jay, October 17, 2013, 10:00:41 AM

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major jay

October 17, 2013, 10:00:41 AM
I guess when you gotta go..you gotta go.


QuoteWhen I open the door the smell was incredible. "The wee bastards's s**te had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! "It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There's no way it'll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? 'Och, a ned shat down the chimney'? "If I get my hands on the little bastard I'll kick him so hard in the arse he'll never sh*t again." A source at Grampian Police said the crime was "Unpleasant and unusual".

Gst0395

#1
October 17, 2013, 10:24:40 AM
Dirty bastard, hope they find that mug.

indianasmith

#2
October 17, 2013, 04:26:34 PM
Somebody just wanted some smoked hams!
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

bob

#3
October 17, 2013, 05:46:27 PM
What did he wipe with after he was done  :question:
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I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Trevor

#4
October 18, 2013, 02:50:18 AM
Quote from: major jay on October 17, 2013, 10:00:41 AM
I guess when you gotta go..you gotta go.


QuoteWhen I open the door the smell was incredible. "The wee bastards's s**te had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! "It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There's no way it'll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? 'Och, a ned shat down the chimney'? "If I get my hands on the little bastard I'll kick him so hard in the arse he'll never sh*t again." A source at Grampian Police said the crime was "Unpleasant and unusual".

Before anyone asks: no, that was not me.  :buggedout: :wink:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Bushma

#5
October 18, 2013, 10:58:06 AM
Quotea wee Ned (Scottish for a ruffian)

:bouncegiggle:

I find that funny!  Maybe its just me being American, but calling someone a "wee Ned" just seems adorable.
This is my awesome signature.  Jealous?

zelmo73

#6
October 18, 2013, 09:47:14 PM
It's funnier when you imagine Fat Bastard saying it:


QuoteWhen I open the door the smell was incredible. "The wee bastards's s**te had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! "It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There's no way it'll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? 'Och, a ned shat down the chimney'? "If I get my hands on the little bastard I'll kick him so hard in the arse he'll never sh*t again." A source at Grampian Police said the crime was "Unpleasant and unusual".
[/quote]

:bouncegiggle:
First rule is, 'The laws of Germany'
Second rule is, 'Be nice to mommy'
Third rule is, 'Don't talk to commies'
Fourth rule is, 'Eat kosher salamis'
------------------
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "Make me one with everything!"

Gst0395

#7
October 19, 2013, 07:43:52 AM
What I really want to know is how he got on the roof, or why he did it in the first place. Was he simply drunk, or did he think he was being a joker of some sort?

major jay

#8
October 19, 2013, 09:13:21 AM Last Edit: October 19, 2013, 09:37:29 AM by major jay
My guess is it was an all night binge of Guinness and bangers & mash.
That's a perfect recipe for making a "foul-bowelled hooligan".

Umaril Has Returned

#9
October 20, 2013, 02:52:56 PM
Quote from: indianasmith on October 17, 2013, 04:26:34 PM
Somebody just wanted some smoked hams!

Oh...boo!   :twirl:

I heard the guy they're looking for is Chinese, his name is "Hu Shat"?  OK now I can boo myself for that one,  :bouncegiggle:
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