This holiday season, I would like to give _____ to ______ because _______.

[The Burgomaster]

This holiday season, I would like to give a Gilbert  U-238 Atomic Energy Lab to Trevor because it might be the only thing on earth powerful enough to blast the crust off his undies.

"Maybe you think it's obvious that including uranium in a child's toy isn't an especially good idea. But apparently that never occurred to the makers of the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab. Described when it was sold in the early 1950s as "the most elaborate Atomic Energy educational set ever produced" it featured four Uranium bearing ore samples and a preformatted order form for more. Even in an age when science sets routinely came with substances like potassium nitrate (a component of gunpowder) and sodium ferrocyanide (these days classified as poison), the Atomic Energy Lab was positively glowing with danger."

[Rev. Powell]

This holiday season, I would like to give a swift kick in the hindquarters to all of you because I am a mean old cuss and it amuses me.

[claws]

This holiday season, I would like to give a big nothing to everybody because the Grinch said so.

[ChaosTheory]

This holiday season I would like to give the GTA5 profits to myself because I am so goddamned sick of not having any f**king money.

[zombie no.one]

This holiday season, I would like to give a kiss to my girlfriend because she real purrrdy

[zelmo73]

This holiday season, I would like to give a kiss to Andrew because I am a brown-noser and you're allowed to do that in the military now.   

[Trevor]

This holiday season, I would like to give a Gilbert  U-238 Atomic Energy Lab to Trevor because it might be the only thing on earth powerful enough to blast the crust off his undies.

"Maybe you think it's obvious that including uranium in a child's toy isn't an especially good idea. But apparently that never occurred to the makers of the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab. Described when it was sold in the early 1950s as "the most elaborate Atomic Energy educational set ever produced" it featured four Uranium bearing ore samples and a preformatted order form for more. Even in an age when science sets routinely came with substances like potassium nitrate (a component of gunpowder) and sodium ferrocyanide (these days classified as poison), the Atomic Energy Lab was positively glowing with danger."

LOL

[Trevor]

This holiday season, I would like to give warm hugs to my family here because I love them all.

Just that: nothing more. 

[LilCerberus]

This holiday season, I would like to give hats to my brother baldies because it can get a wee tad uncomfortable at this time of year.

[Allhallowsday]

This holiday season, I would like to give a handshake, hug, and back pat to all of the old-time members because I love them.

[tracy]

This holiday season,I would like to give $100,000 to everyone here because they all need and deserve it.

[Allhallowsday]

This holiday season,I would like to give $100,000 to everyone here because they all need and deserve it.

Tracy, if I win the lottery and it's enough bread, I'll gladly give YOU $100,000.   

[The Burgomaster]

This holiday season,I would like to give $100,000 to everyone here because they all need and deserve it.

I need it, but I don't deserve it.   

[316zombie]

this holiday seasonmi would like to givea clue tothe new ebay board mods because they need one ,or 12,or more!
and that's me being NICE to them,trust me.

[HappyGilmore]

This holiday season, I would like to give a handshake, hug, and back pat to all of the old-time members because I love them.

This.  Essentially, this.

To everyone here.

I've taken short leaves here and there, but I don't plan to anytime soon.  Some of the people here have been nicer and more warm than people I know in 'real' life.  I just want to say thank you to everyone here.  I may be a depressed drunkard, but I appreciate you all putting up with me.