Man caught pleasuring self in meat aisle

[sprite75]

A British man was caught pleasuring himself in the meat aisle of a UK supermarket;

Fortunately, the only meat he touched was his own.

Eugenio Freitas, 49, "fully intended" to go shopping at a local supermarket when he got extremely horny, became overwhelmed by his "excessive sexual drive," and began touching himself through his pants in the meat aisle, according to a UK court hearing. Closed circuit television recorded Freitas with his hands in his pockets for about 10 minutes.

A female employee at the Staffordshire supermarket saw Freitas, but did not realize that he was masturbating. She thought that he was merely "adjusting himself."

Caught red-handed, Freitas pleaded guilty to "outraging public decency." He was given a six month suspended sentence and banned from setting foot inside any UK supermarket without an adult chaperone.

[indianasmith]

They should upgrade the charge to "unauthorized salami fondling!"

[Leah]

Damn, Viagra side effects  sure goes a long way....

[Gst0395]

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook.

Maybe do it a little more private next time?

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Well you read all those marinades and it does say "Rub on Meat".  So who can blame him.

[retrorussell]

Caught red-handed.. or white-handed?

[Gst0395]

Caught red-handed.. or white-handed?

Oh snap!

[Umaril Has Returned]

They should upgrade the charge to "unauthorized salami fondling!"

This story could have been worse, Indy. You said it was unauthorized salami fondling?  Well, think of it this way, he could have been pounding his pepperoni instead...   

[bob]

talk about beating your meat...