An evening with a rapist

Newt · February 27, 2015, 07:10:53 AM

Quote from: indianasmith on February 26, 2015, 07:07:40 PM
Why on earth would your mother invite him over if the girl he raped as a child is still living in the home?
I simply can't fathom her reasoning. It can't be anything but pure torment for your sister! I think you both
ought to move out!

This! WHO invites a rapist to stay in the HOME of their victim and thinks that is a GOOD thing??? She is being raped all over again IMO. The monster is invited and welcome in her HOME - so nowhere is safe. I cannot imagine how awful that must be: the feeling of utter helplessness. Your mother is a very sick woman. She needs help and you two need to get OUT.

eta: And to insist that your sister clean the kitchen in order to welcome your cousin like an honoured guest - ! Wow. THAT is severely twisted. The message your mother is sending to your sister is 1) he is more important than she is 2) she deserved what he did and/or 3) that her mother does not believe it happened. Something is very very wrong there.

Trevor · February 27, 2015, 07:57:55 AM

Quote from: Newt on February 27, 2015, 07:10:53 AM
This! WHO invites a rapist to stay in the HOME of their victim and thinks that is a GOOD thing??? She is being raped all over again IMO. The monster is invited and welcome in her HOME - so nowhere is safe. I cannot imagine how awful that must be: the feeling of utter helplessness. Your mother is a very sick woman. She needs help and you two need to get OUT.

What Newt said.

Flangepart · February 27, 2015, 08:29:17 AM

Leave. Leave now, and find a safe place.

Olivia Bauer · February 27, 2015, 11:49:11 AM

Thanks for the support but please don't say things like that about my mother. As I recall he's only in Minnesota for the home and garden show. Mom wanted to see him while he was in town. I wouldn't call her a sick woman and I'm not mad at her for bringing him here. She didn't bring a rapist to the house just to torment Angie.

I guess she wants things to be the way they were before the rape. But no matter how well we get along with him I'll always look at him with contempt.

I'm going to tell Mom that he's not welcome a second time.

Paquita · February 27, 2015, 12:04:38 PM

Yikes! What a nightmare!

Quote from: A.J. Bauer on February 27, 2015, 11:49:11 AM
I'm going to tell Mom that he's not welcome a second time.

Please do! Whatever good intentions your mother has, she needs to know that it is not her place to forgive your cousin - it is your sister's. Even if your sister does forgive him, it should be her decision whether or not he stays. I don't believe forgiving him needs to include allowing or welcoming him back into your lives.

Olivia Bauer · February 27, 2015, 12:14:24 PM

Quote from: Paquita on February 27, 2015, 12:04:38 PM
Yikes! What a nightmare!

Quote from: A.J. Bauer on February 27, 2015, 11:49:11 AM
I'm going to tell Mom that he's not welcome a second time.

Please do! Whatever good intentions your mother has, she needs to know that it is not her place to forgive your cousin - it is your sister's. Even if your sister does forgive him, it should be her decision whether or not he stays. I don't believe forgiving him needs to include allowing or welcoming him back into your lives.

Good point. I think I'll talk to Angie in private first.

indianasmith · February 27, 2015, 07:03:04 PM

This is what I love about this forum: Despite our vast differences in philosophy, religion, and even taste in movies,
when one of our members is hurting, we are ALL there for him or her. That is what family should be about, and I
am proud to be a member here.

A.J., you handled this with class and grace that I doubt I would have. Glad it's over for now and I hope you are
never put in this situation again.

bob · February 27, 2015, 07:26:31 PM

I just found this. You handled the situation with much more restraint then I ever would've been able to.

RCMerchant · February 27, 2015, 07:33:56 PM

I dint see this thread-this is my first viewing-my God-AJ-your a better man then me-I'm with Trev -I would have killed him-regardless of the circumstances. Filthy evil souless scumbags. His dying would make my imprisonment or death worth it. I would have at least beat the living s**t outta him.
I aint afraid of death myself-and some people SHOULD die-thats just common knowledge.

Olivia Bauer · February 28, 2015, 12:16:37 AM

I guess I he's coming back no matter what. UPS just dropped off twelve boxes of I don't even know what. All I know is that he "sells high-tech equipment" and the boxes are s**t he's selling at the home and garden show.

It's taking up a lot of space in the garage.

RCMerchant · February 28, 2015, 01:46:07 AM

If hes moving in-you need to get the f**k OUT. I live in Michigan-You can crash at my house for a while. Im serious.

Olivia Bauer · February 28, 2015, 01:57:50 AM

Quote from: RCMerchant on February 28, 2015, 01:46:07 AM
If hes moving in-you need to get the f**k OUT. I live in Michigan-You can crash at my house for a while. Im serious.

Even my Mom knows better than that.

Besides, every time we let someone move in it didn't end well. Chris' father, my uncle Randy moved in once with one stipulation: he was not to ever get drunk in our house.

He broke that rule in less than a week. He moved back to Phoenix and drank himself to death.

Mom and Chris became buddies at the funeral I guess. Randy's kids were her entire world back when we lived in Colorado. But after what he did we moved out. What he did was heinous but at least he confessed. Grandma suggested Mom trained Angie to say she was raped and even payed for Chris' lawyer.

Mom and Grandma were always on bad terms but this was the match that burned the bridge down. The next time I saw her she was in a casket. I wish I could bring her back for a few seconds just for her to hear my last goodbye.

"Rot in hell, you old c**t."

Olivia Bauer · March 01, 2015, 12:35:47 AM

I guess Mom asked Angie first if it was okay for Chris to stay for dinner. She said yes. That's why Mom allowed this meeting.

He will return for his crap tomorrow. After that I won't see him again. At least not for the foreseeable future.

Olivia Bauer · March 05, 2015, 10:29:01 AM

Thanks, guys. It was nice to have words of support, but I don't think he'll be back for a while.

I can't put in to words how much it means to me. Again, thanks.

Trevor · March 06, 2015, 01:40:16 AM

Quote from: A.J. Bauer on March 05, 2015, 10:29:01 AM
Thanks, guys. It was nice to have words of support, but I don't think he'll be back for a while.

I can't put in to words how much it means to me. Again, thanks.

Just one final thing: the stuff he left in your garage. I was going to suggest I have some gasoline and a few matches for that.