Funniest Conspiracy Theories

[Olivia Bauer]

I just listened to a guy saying Zionists break into Muslim houses and steal their shoe.

What nutty s**t have you heard?

[indianasmith]

The "chemtrail" people are pretty far out there.
That, and someone posted on FB yesterday that the Charleston church attack was a hoax and that all the "victims" are actually still alive.
Apparently, the Obama administration staged it with "crisis actors" to further gun control.

Who actually believes such pure bovine excreta?

[Trevor]

Who actually believes such pure bovine excreta?

Now what is that...................oh. 

[sprite75]

The "chemtrail" people are pretty far out there.
That, and someone posted on FB yesterday that the Charleston church attack was a hoax and that all the "victims" are actually still alive.
Apparently, the Obama administration staged it with "crisis actors" to further gun control.

Who actually believes such pure bovine excreta?

They did the same after Sandy Hook too, claimed that it was all a hoax and the parents of one of the murdered kids were "crisis actors" in order to further gun control.

[indianasmith]

I guess both right and left have their extremists, but boy some of the far right folks are awfully nutty!
No wonder my side has a bad name.

[lester1/2jr]

Here in Boston there are still people who think the Marathon bombing was some sort of staged event even after Jahar was convicted and confessed in his court statement.

[zombie no.one]

The "chemtrail" people are pretty far out there.
That, and someone posted on FB yesterday that the Charleston church attack was a hoax and that all the "victims" are actually still alive.
Apparently, the Obama administration staged it with "crisis actors" to further gun control.

Who actually believes such pure bovine excreta?

They did the same after Sandy Hook too, claimed that it was all a hoax and the parents of one of the murdered kids were "crisis actors" in order to further gun control.

In the case of Sandy Hook, 'they' - interestingy - includes Wolfgang Halbig, former director of School Safety and Security for a district of approximately 65,000 students, who was commissioned by the U.S. Department of Justice to train over 3,500 school police officers, school superintendents, and school principals, and has provided safety training and school safety assessments for more than 4,000 school districts nationwide. His vids on youtube are interesting, he is convinced Sandy Hook didn't happen, was a staged event with no bodies, no deaths, that 'Adam Lanza' never existed. He's currently taking Sandy Hook governors to court under the Freedom Of Information Act because they're with-holding his requests for information relating to the incident which should be available to anyone, public access. Vids of the ongoing court cae are on youtube. Personally I don't know what to think, I just find him to be different the usual stereotype of yer average 'conspiracy nut'. I'm not going to say Sandy Hook was a hoax, I wasn't there, but I certainly don't think things are always as cut and dried as the media makes them.

[Olivia Bauer]

Here in Boston there are still people who think the Marathon bombing was some sort of staged event even after Jahar was convicted and confessed in his court statement.

Whaaaat? The streets were covered in blood and body parts!

[dean]

Conspiracy theories are fun to listen to. I once had a customer tell me how he hates new movies because they're all 'Bang Bang Bang' [gestures with gun fingers] and 'Bang Bang Bang' [Thrusts pelvis]

Then he tells me he goes to the movie, can't stand it [he holds his head in his hands like he's being tortured at this point], and goes to get a refund but instead they offer him a free ticket which he then uses and makes the cycle start again. Some sort of conspiracy to brainwash him apparently. I asked him why does he keep going back and he kind of shrugged and said 'they keep giving me free tickets.'


The other one was the person who believed they could feel the electricity in the power lines above her and that radio waves are going to kill everyone on the planet.

In fact, I've talked to quite a few people with fanciful theories, who in reality probably just have some mental problems. But I like listening to them as it's really quite fascinating and sometimes I think they just appreciate having someone to talk to.

[ulthar]

Whaaaat? The streets were covered in blood and body parts!

You mean like is shown in every horror movie with any FX budget at all?

I'm not saying it was a hoax or was staged, but do you really think the visual impact part of such a hoax would be all that hard to pull off?  After all, that's why these theories gain so much traction...because they are just believable enough to hook just enough people to gain critical mass.

Check out the movie WAG THE DOG (1997) if you have not seen it. That film came out when a lot of folks were claiming the Clinton Administration was doing exactly that. The film is very much worth a watch.

[Trevor]

Conspiracy theories are fun to listen to. I once had a customer tell me how he hates new movies because they're all 'Bang Bang Bang' [gestures with gun fingers] and 'Bang Bang Bang' [Thrusts pelvis]

Then he tells me he goes to the movie, can't stand it [he holds his head in his hands like he's being tortured at this point], and goes to get a refund but instead they offer him a free ticket which he then uses and makes the cycle start again. Some sort of conspiracy to brainwash him apparently. I asked him why does he keep going back and he kind of shrugged and said 'they keep giving me free tickets.'

The other one was the person who believed they could feel the electricity in the power lines above her and that radio waves are going to kill everyone on the planet.

In fact, I've talked to quite a few people with fanciful theories, who in reality probably just have some mental problems. But I like listening to them as it's really quite fascinating and sometimes I think they just appreciate having someone to talk to.

So that's why you always answer my posts. 

[Flangepart]

I guess both right and left have their extremists, but boy some of the far right folks are awfully nutty!
No wonder my side has a bad name.

Yeah, they just arn't the establishment nutjobs right now. That may change again, though.
Michael Medved's radio show has 'Conspiracy Tuesdays.' Ya wanna hear the black chopper types vent, that's the place. I think Mike must laugh his a$$ off at some of the more 'creative' ones.

[indianasmith]

I always get a kick out of his show in Thursdays.

A couple years back I had a lengthy back and forth debate with a guy who INSISTED that the Holocaust was an elaborate historical hoax created and maintained by the Jews to raise money and sympathy for the State of Israel.  Apparently the tens of thousands of eyewitness accounts were all just lies, and every bit of documentary evidence was forged.  All the confessions were obtained under torture by the Soviets.

If he had been a knuckle-dragging skinhead, I would have just walked away.  But this guy is highly intelligent and absolutely sincere.  Some of his statements were flat-out jaw-dropping.

[ER]

It blows my mind to think that there were nutjobs in the early 1960s running around making the claims that President Kennedy was a drug addict who serially cheated on his wife! I mean...what man in his right mind would cheat on Jackie, eh? Or those weird Germans back seventy-five years ago who had those "stories" about  Jews vanishing from towns and being carted away someplace on trains! And something about "fake" showers? But my favorite---you gotta listen to this one!!---some credulous creeps back in the day were saying Bill Cosby (I mean BILL COSBY, the most fatherly man on television!) was drugging and molesting women! Sheesh, it takes all kinds, y'know? 

[zombie no.one]

The way I see it is this.

Say I'm walking down the street and I need to get to a bank. So I stop a guy who's smartly dressed wearing a suit/tie etc and ask him where the nearest bank is. He replies "sure, keep walking then take the first right and you'll find it". Then another guy overhears this and comes up to us. This guy is scruffily dressed and looks a bit dishevelled. He goes "nah he's wrong, you take a left not a right". Smart guy goes "don't listen to him, it's on the right as I said", then scruffy guy goes "nah, he's crazy, the bank's on he left, I'm telln ya!".

Who do I believe? Smart dressed guy, cause he looks like an upstanding citizen? But why would the other guy disagree? He might be untrustworthy cause he was dressed scruffy and looked weird, but do I want to make that kind of prejudice based on appearance? Point is, until I actually walk down the street and find out for myself which direction the bank is in then I can't verify either guy's words for sure. That's how I see the 'offical' version of events presented by the media vs. the conspiracy theorists. Both ultimately present nothing more than hearsay. Unless you can independently verify the facts for yourself first hand (which 99% of the time will be borderline impossible concerning most stories that attract conspiracy theories anyway) then you can only choose what to believe.