Main Menu

OT: Office parties - just say "no"

Started by Susan, December 11, 2003, 09:57:14 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages 1 2
User actions

Flangepart

#15
December 12, 2003, 04:04:32 PM
Yeesh!
What an intresting list of catastrophes!
Glad i don't go to any such affairs.....Boreing weekends, maby, but the peace of mind is worth it!
"Night of the Mullet man". Sound like an ephisode of Tales from the crypt....

"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Neon Noodle

#16
December 12, 2003, 10:24:06 PM
Just got back from another one, should have read this more thoroughly....

It's a new company, and I finished training about 6 weeks ago. Our trainer is in her early 40's and pretty cute, but I tend to NOT think of trainers that way (since I am happily married) This will come into play later in the story.

Well, as someone mentioned in an earlier post, the "games" started with the Yankee Swap.

This is another staple of the office parties; where at least 6 people bring hard liquor, and they get traded back and forth between most of the alkies and the crap gifts end up with the people that brought them in the first place. Pretty standard stuff here. I tried to get a DVD copy of "Old School" but it got taken about 5 times. Oh well.

Then, the trek to the bar. I carpooled again so I couldn't leave (hey, I'm an hour from work! but no wife/husband team this time, thank GOD). I hung around with a few people, and I got to see the real hard core drinkers dip cigars into Congac and get drunker than poets on payday. Men and women smoking cigars, mind you.

Well, then the bar games started. Someone had read the latest issue of Maxim and put a olive inside a glass, and turned it upside down. The goal was to spin the glass and get the centrifugal force going to flip the glass over and have the olive sit in the bottom. All this did was get several drunkards elbowing into other people and spilling alcohol everywhere.

Now, back to my trainer. Someone bet her that she couldn't tie 2 cherry stems into a knot in her mouth at the same time. She took two cherries and came over to my carpool buddy (He's 24, mind you, and she's in her early 40's) and passed the cherries into his mouth. Directly.

While she did succeed in tying the stems together in her mouth, THIS IS AN ABILITY I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT.

To make it even better, one of the other managers came over to chat with me. During the conversation, she said "I can't believe that I said something to the VP that got Jake fired."
Jake was my floor manager, a guy with 3 kids. Thankfully I changed the subject, since this was none of my business and she shouldn't be telling me stuff like this anyway.
I said it before and I'll say it again, more people destroy their careers at holiday parties and summer picnics.

My advice, stay sober and watch the fun!



Post Edited (12-12-03 21:51)
____________________________________________________________
While on a journey, Chuang Tzu found an old skull, dry and parched.
With sorrow, he questioned and lamented the end of all things.
When he finished speaking, he dragged the skull over and, using it for a pillow, lay down to sleep.
In the night, the skull came to his dreams and said, 'You are a fool to rejoice in the entanglements of life.'
Chuang Tzu couldn`t believe this and asked, 'If I could return you to your life, you would want that, wouldn`t you?'
Stunned by Chuang Tzu`s foolishness, the skull replied, 'How do you know that it is bad to be dead?'

-From The Matrix: The Path of Neo

Susan

#17
December 12, 2003, 10:36:47 PM
>>(He's 24, mind you, and she's in her early 40's) and passed the cherries into his mouth. Directly.
While she did succeed in tying the stems together in her mouth, THIS IS AN ABILITY I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT.<<<

Nevertheless there are probably at least 24 men reading this as we speak and trying to find out where you work.....

Next year i'm staying sober. At least I had the good sense to avoid the christmas House party which is currently being held this evening. I think a private atmosphere like that over the lobby of an office highrise is far more dangerous to one's career.

Neon - no lap dance tonite? ;-)

Neon Noodle

#18
December 12, 2003, 10:44:38 PM
no lap dance Susan, thanks, I didn't know you cared......8^)

____________________________________________________________
While on a journey, Chuang Tzu found an old skull, dry and parched.
With sorrow, he questioned and lamented the end of all things.
When he finished speaking, he dragged the skull over and, using it for a pillow, lay down to sleep.
In the night, the skull came to his dreams and said, 'You are a fool to rejoice in the entanglements of life.'
Chuang Tzu couldn`t believe this and asked, 'If I could return you to your life, you would want that, wouldn`t you?'
Stunned by Chuang Tzu`s foolishness, the skull replied, 'How do you know that it is bad to be dead?'

-From The Matrix: The Path of Neo

raj

#19
December 13, 2003, 03:56:19 PM
Gee Susan, you know us too well.

Conrad

#20
December 13, 2003, 08:37:01 PM
Last night I went to what must count as my Office Party Derived From the Lower Depths of Hell.  I am a quiet chap who doesn't (and can't) talk loudly, and who has trouble hearing what other people are saying in a noisy environment.  Due to a dodgy kneecap I can't dance, either.  not that I danced much when the old patellae were in working order ...

I do not mind parties in the office, but this was at a rugby club at night-time.  The food was mediocre, I was driving and so remained stonily sober, the compere thought he could sing and tell jokes and was wrong - incredibly wrong - on both counts, the DJ was crap, and to trump it all, there was an Abba tribute band playing for an hour.  I hate unfunny comedians, bad singers, s**tty DJ's and have loathed Abba for 30 years.  The low point of the evening had to be 12 members of the audience performing their own obscene version of "The 12 Days of Christmas" , and the low point of the low point was one scrubber of the 12, gaily flashing and flapping her bosoms at the audience.

Sheesh.  Never again.  Next year *I* will organise the office Christmas do, at a nice quiet jazz club, for classy people only, and anyone who wants a disco will have their kneecaps walloped with a hammer.

Crouching Tiger - Hidden Police Speed Trap

Susan

#21
December 13, 2003, 08:56:42 PM
>>Abba tribute band playing for an hour.<<

Dear god, I hope they gave you a xmas bonus for that one. But at least it was something, i'm not a fan of the classical and I was about to start requesting songs from our band. (Last year we had quite a jazzy band playing charlie brown music..hehe!)

You know I have trouble hearing people in noisy environments too, particularly after I drink and I'm not a good lip reader. Half the time I smile, nod say "yeah i know!" and i sometimes think everyone else is doing the same thing.

Isn't it amazing that year after party hell year we still show up for another round? Talk about gluttons for punishment

Ash

#22
December 13, 2003, 09:08:44 PM
Susan wrote:
(Last year
 we had quite a jazzy band playing charlie brown music..hehe!)

What a coincidence that I'm watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" right now!
7:16 pm CST
12/13/03

Susan

#23
December 13, 2003, 09:18:10 PM
>>What a coincidence that I'm watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" right now!<<

Me too, i never miss it. I loved charlie brown comics growing up - had the books, loved the tv specials and movies. Just the classics.

"Even my own dog has gone commercial...argh!"

raj

#24
December 14, 2003, 12:34:51 PM
Conrad wrote:

>
> Sheesh.  Never again.  Next year *I* will organise the office
> Christmas do, at a nice quiet jazz club, for classy people
> only, and anyone who wants a disco will have their kneecaps
> walloped with a hammer.

Sounds horrible.  

You may want to hire Tanya Harding, she can be a good kneecapper.
Print
Go Up Pages 1 2
User actions