The BMDO Advice Column

[ER]

A hurricane is poised to hit Ireland. Should I:

A. Laugh hysterically at my maternal relatives who all my life have said, "I don't know how Americans can live in a place that has hurricanes and tornadoes...."
B. Be nice and send money to the Irish Red Cross.
C. Taunt the Irish that their famous luck is running out.
D. Make some jalapeno poppers and sit back and watch The Weather Channel show my grandmother's church getting blown away.

[indianasmith]

I would advice a combination of A and B.

[ER]

And what advice should we have offered young Veronica Sawyer?


"Dear Diary:

I want to KILL, and you have to believe it's for more than just selfish reasons, more than just a spoke in my menstrual cycle. You have to believe me.

Oh Christ, I can't explain it, but I'm allowed an understanding that my parents and these Remington University a***oles have chosen to ignore. I understand that I must STOP HEATHER.

Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch Dogs and Diet Coke Heads. Killing Heather would be like offing The Wicked Witch of The West. Wait, East. West! God, I sound like a f**king psycho!

Tomorrow I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Heather, a world where I am free."