Good Advice

ER · February 27, 2018, 12:56:46 PM

Attention, men! If ever you find yourself a character in a Stephen King story, listen to any woman who tells you it's time to go.

ER · February 27, 2018, 11:16:34 PM

Never close your eyes for very long, because when your eyes are shut you can't be sure the world is still there.

indianasmith · February 27, 2018, 11:55:52 PM

If you eat a live toad first thing every morning, nothing worse can possibly happen to you for the rest of the day!

ER · February 28, 2018, 12:16:26 AM

If ever aliens abduct you and want to perform probing, ask them to buy you a pair of shoes first, cuz, hey, free shoes.

RCMerchant · February 28, 2018, 07:48:27 AM

Never take a blind man skydiving because it really scares the dog.

ER · February 28, 2018, 08:24:48 AM

Be alert! The world needs more lerts.

ER · February 28, 2018, 08:26:57 AM

Next time you're not busy try writing the people in charge of naming astrological signs and ask them to change Cancer to something more positive.

ER · February 28, 2018, 10:59:57 AM

Adopt Hanukaween, in which the glories of Halloween are stretched out over eight crazy nights.

ER · March 01, 2018, 10:29:43 AM

If your child doesn't get what was most wanted for Christmas, say it's because your mother in law told Santa not to bring it.

Alex · March 01, 2018, 10:32:30 AM

Do not practise brain surgery on yourself.

Allhallowsday · March 01, 2018, 03:34:45 PM

Quote from: ER on February 27, 2018, 11:16:34 PM
Never close your eyes for very long, because when your eyes are shut you can't be sure the world is still there.

Mmm. What if you're blind?

Quote from: ER on March 01, 2018, 10:29:43 AM
If your child doesn't get what was most wanted for Christmas, say it's because your mother in law told Santa not to bring it.

ER · March 01, 2018, 10:28:39 PM

Love this Shakespeare quote all you want, but do not get it tattooed on your face:

Ay, but to die, and go we know not where,
To lie in cold obstruction and to rot,
This sensible warm motion to become
A kneaded clod and the delighted spirit
To bathe in fiery floods, or to reside
In thrilling region of thick-ribbed ice---
To be imprison'd in the viewless winds,
And blown with restless violence round about
The pendent world.

indianasmith · March 01, 2018, 11:30:55 PM

When in worry, when in doubt - run in circles, scream and shout!

Allhallowsday · March 02, 2018, 12:21:13 AM

Quote from: indianasmith on March 01, 2018, 11:30:55 PM
When in worry, when in doubt - run in circles, scream and shout!

Horse hockey.

indianasmith · March 02, 2018, 12:46:31 AM

If at first you don't succeed, try playing shortstop!