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Sayings!

Started by RCMerchant, August 29, 2018, 12:21:37 AM

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RCMerchant

My Dad usta say-when it was raining real hard- "It's pouring like p**s out of a boot"!
WTF does that mean?  :question:
He also usta say "Use your head for something besides a hat rack."
My Uncle Ron usta say-"That pecker couldn't tell s**t from apple butter." Which always cracked me up!  :bouncegiggle:
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

indianasmith

I like to make up sayings and then repeat them as if they are traditional proverbs:

"When the snake falls in love with the garden hose, it's time to buy a new pair of boots!"

"All roads lead to the dog barking up the wrong tree, therefore divided we fall but with six you get egg rolls."

"When in Rome, the guilty dog gathers no moss!"
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

Svengoolie 3

''Three martinis make hay in the moonlight. '' I've heard it makes sense after 3 martinis...
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

Trevor

Dad: "Why did you do that, Trevor?"
Me: "Well, I thought..."
Dad: "Thought? You know what thought did?"
Me: "No, sir."*
Dad: "Thought sh*t in its' pants."

:wink:

* My Dad was and remains the only person I would call sir.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

ER

I like using Oscar's: "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." It fits so many situations.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

Allhallowsday

Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 30, 2018, 12:55:09 AM
''Three martinis make hay in the moonlight. '' I've heard it makes sense after 3 martinis...
Indeed it does.  It's like "How are martinis like a woman's breast?  One is not enough and three is too many." 
If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

RCMerchant

Quote from: Allhallowsday on August 30, 2018, 01:19:57 PM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on August 30, 2018, 12:55:09 AM
''Three martinis make hay in the moonlight. '' I've heard it makes sense after 3 martinis...
Indeed it does.  It's like "How are martinis like a woman's breast?  One is not enough and three is too many." 
Nonsense. You could cover me with tits and I'd be happy.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

RCMerchant

#7
"You couldn't find your ass with both hands."
"If you had any brains, you would shoot 'em like dice!"
"If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous!"

Again- my loving Dad!  :bouncegiggle:
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Alex

I'll make you smile on the other side of your face (still haven't figured out how that one works).

If your brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose.

If you fall and break your leg don't come running to me (well... obviously).

Hail to thyself
For I am my own master
I am my own god
I require no shepherd
For I am no sheep.

Allhallowsday

Quote from: Dark Alex on August 30, 2018, 02:27:22 PM
I'll make you smile on the other side of your face (still haven't figured out how that one works).
...
Just turn that smile upside down. 
If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

Allhallowsday

Hmmm...

"We'll draw the curtain of charity on that one."   :question:

"Homely as a cat's behind."   :buggedout:

"Nothing for nothing..."   :lookingup:
If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!

Trevor

Ned Beatty in Shooter:

"You didn't know whether to sh*t or go blind."  :buggedout: :teddyr:

We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Svengoolie 3

Response to a loud explosion,  burst of automatic gunfire,  car engine blowing out, etc. ''I bet that fart hurt! ''
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

dean


Some traditional Australian sayings:

We're not here to f$%k spiders (Not here to mess around)
She'll be apples (it'll be ok)

Some traditional Dutch sayings:
Now the monkey comes out of the sleeve (the truth comes out)
As if an angel is peeing on your tongue (something that tastes good)

A couple of Afghani idioms I was told last year:
Don't hold two watermelons in one hand (don't take on too much)
If you're happy, buy a goat (I can't work that one out, but its something around when you're happy you get complacent and goats keep you on your toes because they're a rowdy sort)
------------The password will be: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

The Burgomaster

* He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground

* If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about (one of my mother's favorites)

* It's as cold as a witch's tit

* He thinks he s**ts ice cream

* He thinks his s**t doesn't stink

* He's had more balls across his chin than Johnny Bench

* He has a hair across his ass

* He talking out of his ass



"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."