Things you LOVE.

[HappyGilmore]

Just not the tv series...

Oh god no.

[Rev. Powell]

Threesomes.

I assume.

[RCMerchant]

Threesomes.

I assume.

A threesome!
The only time I have a threesome is when I switch hands. 

[LilCerberus]

payday
getting a refund

[Alex]

Threesomes.

I assume.

A threesome!
The only time I have a threesome is when I switch hands. 

Honestly, they are not as much fun as you might think.

[ER]

Threesomes.

I assume.

A threesome!
The only time I have a threesome is when I switch hands. 

Honestly, they are not as much fun as you might think.

No, I don't think they would be.

Closest I ever came to one was in 2006, my college roommate and I met up five years after graduation and were on a cruise together and for a third-grade schoolmarm from New England she was letting go on that ship, drinking, picking up men, getting high, just....wow, she hadn't acted like that back in the day, and out of character for me I'd let her talk me into partaking of "some" substance that was making me feel not too well, and so I limped back from the club we'd been in and when I collapsed into bed I vowed no matter what I was NOT leaving our cabin for any reason that night, not like the night before when she'd sexiled me til about three AM.

When she brought some man back a little while later and proceeded to absolutely go unabashedly around the world with him in her bed a mere few feet away, her bare legs sticking up in my peripheral vision and my ears filling with all these noises, I stubbornly laid there half-sick, my presence apparently not deterring their inebriated carrying-on whatsoever.

After their first round, which concluded in a truly strange sound, like hissing, I heard the guy say to my roommate, "Think we can talk her into joining us?"

I raised up off the pillow, his naked ass literally like six feet away from me where he was still on top of my roommate, and said, "I would SO hurl on you if you tried."

Then I flipped over and put a pillow over my head thinking, "Well, this is the most awkward moment of my entire life."

It wasn't but at that second it felt like it.

Then he came over to my bed and starting trying to kiss on me, and I kick-shoved him off and he went back over to the other bed and they carried on again.

To this day we Do Not Speak Of That Cruise.

[Svengoolie 3]

Don'tcha just love that totally relaxed feeling you get after taking a really huge dump? Yeah,  I do too.

[Allhallowsday]

Threesomes.
I assume.

A threesome!
The only time I have a threesome is when I switch hands. 

Honestly, they are not as much fun as you might think.

'specially when you gotta provide the...  oops...

[Pacman000]

Ice Cream. 

[RCMerchant]

Peanut Butter.
Hot sauce.
Bread.Good bread!

[indianasmith]

Successful book signings!
Nothing stings more than driving an hour and sitting in a store all day and not selling a single book.
But selling 25 books three days before Christmas - that's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!   

[Alex]

Nicely done Indy.

[Svengoolie 3]

Being a horrible criminal and a threat to all western civilization. Seriously, I love the move "scrooge" the musical with Albert finney and Alec guiness but most of the plebes hate it so it doesn't get shown in tv much.

Well, screw the peasants and their plebeian tastes! I decided not to let them limit my viewing choices this holiday season! I just watched it on the net for free with no interruptions asides from the ones I chose! I was a dastardly criminal defying copyright law, the DCMA and assaulting the very roots of capitalism by getting something free, and I loved every blessed nanosecond of it!

[ER]

The Fibonacci sequence.

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711, 28657, 46368,etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc, on into infinity (and beyond!). Sometimes when I am on a jet I'll do this in my head to distract myself.

[Svengoolie 3]

The Fibonacci sequence.

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711, 28657, 46368,etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc, on into infinity (and beyond!). Sometimes when I am on a jet I'll do this in my head to distract myself.

Ever see an animated movie called "the phantom tollbooth? ' I swear it's the only movie I've ever seen that  reffered to the Fibonacci sequence in case you're  interested.