Their WORST Movie ~ any star

[Svengoolie 3]

R. Lee Army said he thought that "endless descent" was his worse movie.

Personally having seen both I'd say "the terror within 2" was worse.

Anyone want to voice their opinion?

[Archivist]

Steven Seagal: oh, let me count the movies...

His first five or six movie were great. Exciting, action-driven 80s asskicking fests with a style of fight choreography hitherto unseen in film. Then came the environmental schlockfest of On Deadly Ground (1994), which ends with a multi-minute monologue about the horrors of unchecked environmental abuse. Bad movie, bad execution.

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Seagal redeemed himself with a much more fun Under Siege 2 (1995), Executive Decision and The Glimmer Man (1996), but he couldn't help himself and went back to environmental activism in Fire Down Below.

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Exit Wounds (2001) was fun, but more a vehicle for DMX. Seagal did some action choreography which actually physically challenged him, like HK wirework.

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Then came the abysmal Ticker (2001). I bought the DVD after reading some comments on Amazon which said it was fantastic. These comments were either written by crew members who desperately wanted the movie to sell, or by jokers who just want people to buy awful movies and watch the world burn. Ticker was one of the most poorly edited, badly written and disjointed movies I've seen.

The directors commentary said it was shot in 12 days, which is about the same time it took to shoot a 90s episode of The X-Files. They also said that scenes from another movie were used as B-roll for the siege at the embassy, which explains the very obvious continuity issues of why the exterior of the building looked very different from what the interior suggested. The directors said this was a common practice in Europe, and gave the movie a European feel!!! The scenes with Dennis Hopper were largely shot separately, without any of the other cast present.

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At some stage, Seagal started making movies where he wasn't even in them half the time. Bulky stunt doubles in body suits abounded, and his dialogue is dubbed by an actor who doesn't even sound like him.

[Svengoolie 3]

Steven Seagal: oh, let me count the movies...

His first five or six movie were great. Exciting, action-driven 80s asskicking fests with a style of fight choreography hitherto unseen in film. Then came the environmental schlockfest of On Deadly Ground (1994), which ends with a multi-minute monologue about the horrors of unchecked environmental abuse. Bad movie, bad execution.

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

Seagal redeemed himself with a much more fun Under Siege 2 (1995), Executive Decision and The Glimmer Man (1996), but he couldn't help himself and went back to environmental activism in Fire Down Below.

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

Exit Wounds (2001) was fun, but more a vehicle for DMX. Seagal did some action choreography which actually physically challenged him, like HK wirework.

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

Then came the abysmal Ticker (2001). I bought the DVD after reading some comments on Amazon which said it was fantastic. These comments were either written by crew members who desperately wanted the movie to sell, or by jokers who just want people to buy awful movies and watch the world burn. Ticker was one of the most poorly edited, badly written and disjointed movies I've seen.

The directors commentary said it was shot in 12 days, which is about the same time it took to shoot a 90s episode of The X-Files. They also said that scenes from another movie were used as B-roll for the siege at the embassy, which explains the very obvious continuity issues of why the exterior of the building looked very different from what the interior suggested. The directors said this was a common practice in Europe, and gave the movie a European feel!!! The scenes with Dennis Hopper were largely shot separately, without any of the other cast present.

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1

At some stage, Seagal started making movies where he wasn't even in them half the time. Bulky stunt doubles in body suits abounded, and his dialogue is dubbed by an actor who doesn't even sound like him.

Actually seagal's greatest media abomination is his "novel" the way of the shadow wolves.

Here's a review that's too kind. https://www.cracked.com/blog/i-read-steven-seagalE28099s-insane-novel-so-you-donE28099t-have-to/

TWotSW is horrificaly  bad in  every way.

Imagine the absolutly most extreme raving paranoia of Alex Jones and info wars plus the whole "Obama is the antichrist!!! " hysteria purified and crystallized to a state of absolute purity and concentration. Much like soot can be compressed into a diamond.

Add in heaping helping of racism against Mexicans. (They're all drug gangers!)

Mix in levels of  anti Islamic hatred that even i find inane. (A character literally believes a crucifix affects Muslims like they are suppose to affect vampires. Also characters are sure to dip bullets and knives in pig blood before attacking Muslims.)

For the cherry portray president Obama as an actual agent of the Islamic conspiracy to destroy america.

Now imagine it all written by a talentless hack who Ayn Rhand would sneer at. (Many sentences in the book are followed by a sentence explaining what happened in the prior sentence. Plus the writer just used the term "ghost move" to get characters out  of hopeless situation. Character X seems doomed, but he just does a "ghost move" that saves  him and kills the villain with no explanation what a "ghost move" is.)

Here are actual quotes from the novel. https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/read-the-most-insane-parts-of-seagals-novel-endorsed-by-arpaio-10005023

This novel is worse than any of his movies ever were. I honestly donct recommend you read this boom unless you have some sort of  deep psychological compulsion, an actual need, to utterly hate Steven seagal to the most absolute level possible.

Because that's what most people will do after reading this.

[kornula]

show of hands;  How many people actually saw "Breakfast of Champions"?   Everyone in this movie disavows it much as they can.. for good reason.   Bruce Willis tried to break free of the action hero for a brief stint.  Obviously, it didn't work.

[Archivist]

@Svengoolie - The Way Of The Shadow Wolves! The article tells me this is just the kind of bedtime reading I would love... I never knew this existed. How this got past me, I have no idea. A long, wailing scream emanates from me at the keyboard, showing that I'm typing and in anguish. But I bust out a Ghost Move and it's all good. 

[RCMerchant]

Steven Segal is one of Trump's flunkys getting f**ked in the ass by Putin right now.
What a shmuck!

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/05/world/asia/steven-seagal-putin-russia.html

[RCMerchant]

On a lighter note-

Tor Johnson- the BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961)
Hey-Tor was the co-star with Lugosi in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955);  he was bacon in any movie he was in.
But...ugh...BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS-Golly f**king geebus!




(of course I have it on tape and watch it all the time anyway..go figure?)

[Svengoolie 3]

On a lighter note-

Tor Johnson- the BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961)
Hey-Tor was the co-star with Lugosi in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955);  he was bacon in any movie he was in.
But...ugh...BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS-Golly f**king geebus!




(of course I have it on tape and watch it all the time anyway..go figure?)

To me the biggest "WTAFF?!?! " in this movie was the way the damn cops got up in the copter and just started shooting at the first stranger they saw. Seriously? 

[RCMerchant]

"Flag on the moon. How did it get there?" 

[Svengoolie 3]

@Svengoolie - The Way Of The Shadow Wolves! The article tells me this is just the kind of bedtime reading I would love... I never knew this existed. How this got past me, I have no idea. A long, wailing scream emanates from me at the keyboard, showing that I'm typing and in anguish. But I bust out a Ghost Move and it's all good. 

Could you please make and post a video of you doing a "ghost move" so we can have some idea WTAFF a "ghost move" is?

[Svengoolie 3]

"Flag on the moon. How did it get there?" 

I hope no one takes this chance to jump on me for making an "offensive" remark,  but I look at that pic an I just cannot stop hearing All Jolson sing "Maaa Meeee! "

Seriously,  that pic just forces me to hear that.  I can't help it. Does anyone else get that?

[RCMerchant]

"Cook me up some eggs and hammy!"

[Alex]

Emilio Estevez - Freejack.

[RCMerchant]

Bogart- the RETURN OF DR.X- a mediocre horror film where Bogie looks like Karloff in the WALKING DEAD (1936)

[Svengoolie 3]

Bogart- the RETURN OF DR.X- a mediocre horror film where Bogie looks like Karloff in the WALKING DEAD (1936)

I've seen this. You gotta admit bogey for having the balls to go so far out  of his normal character.