Things your Dad usta say.

[RCMerchant]

My Dad usta say " I don't call you son because you shine, I call you son because your ass is mine!"
He was also good with "If you had any brains you'd be dangerous!". Or "I'm a lawn mower, and your ass is grass!" Crazy old basterd.
Of course I ended up using those exact words on my  kids...! So WTF? 

[Svengoolie 3]

All I know about what my dad said is what I was told he said. "I don't  care if he eats or starves,  lives or dies! "

Given the fact the worthless piece of sh!t spent the rest of his life dodging efforts at making him pay child support I believe the people who told me those were  his words to me. The only joy he brought to me in my life was when I heard he'd died a lingering death of lung cancer.

My mom's next husband didn't say much to me, he preferred to let his hands do the talking.

[316zombie]

my da's favorite phrase to all of us-" i'll ground you until you're TWENTY-SIX! ", lol! he also told everyone at my wedding that i was a virgin, even though i'd been living with curtis for 6 months! 

[claws]

My dad rarely used phrases, though when we grew up he used to say "drink up your coke" several times a day. We kids had a habit of never finishing our can of coke.

And yeah, my mama used to say:

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[Alex]

"I'll make you laugh on the other side of your face."

"A new [insert name of thing you've just asked for]? I'll give you a new [insert name of thing you've just asked for]", normally followed by a slap.

[Trevor]

Don't be like I was. Get an education, get a job and have a good life.
[When I passed my finals at college] You've done quite well.

[indianasmith]

My Dad was as good a father as anyone ever could ask for.
He was kind, supportive, and loving but also firm when it came to discipline.
He was a preacher/pastor for over fifty years.  Once, when asked what three rules he would give to anyone entering the ministry, he answered thus:

1.  Love the people.
2.  Love the people.
3.  Love the people.

I miss him. . . .   

[Svengoolie 3]

My Dad was as good a father as anyone ever could ask for.
He was kind, supportive, and loving but also firm when it came to discipline.
He was a preacher/pastor for over fifty years.  Once, when asked what three rules he would give to anyone entering the ministry, he answered thus:

1.  Love the people.
2.  Love the people.
3.  Love the people.

I miss him. . . .  

Well,  he sounds like a better preacher than so many today.  I hope he had a good life.

My maternal grandfather used to say a few things,  like "It's  raining like a herd of cows p-ssing on a flat rock!"  or "Whoever circumcised him threw away the wrong piece! "

[316zombie]

i was lucky to have 2 great dads, my bio dad who died when i was 24, and my beloved FIL, who died 10 years ago. and 2 great moms too! my bio mom died when i was 20, and my sweet MIL took over when i married her son at age 21, she passed 6 years ago. i truly wish more people had parents AND inlaws like mine, and i DO know how fortunate i was to have them.

[Allhallowsday]

"I'm goin' down baby.  I'm goin' down fast."

"Hirsute... hirsute.. hair suit... hairsuit!"

"Nippy napola."  

"Harry Horsehair!"

[RCMerchant]

"Quit playing pocket pool and get yer ass in gear!"
" If you had any brains you'd shoot 'em like dice!"
"You don't know s**t from Shinola!"
"If it was raining pitchforks, you'd be dead!" I never really understood WTF that meant...

[Allhallowsday]

"T-4-2... titty type tea" 

[RCMerchant]

" I'll slap you like a red-head step child!"
WTF, Dad?

[Svengoolie 3]

Just remember you always look at yoiu dad and say "Just remember I'll probably be deciding what nursing home you end up in!"

[Allhallowsday]

Just remember you always look at yoiu dad and say "Just remember I'll probably be deciding what nursing home you end up in!"

That was an experience of long ago.  My dad is gone a long time.