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Started by trekgeezer, August 17, 2007, 06:42:25 PM

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Svengoolie 3

Diabolik. I saw this as the last ep of MST3K and finally saw the whole thing. An entertaining crime fantasy despite the fact the "hero", er, wait, let me put that in double quotes, the ""hero"" casually murders people at his whim. but hey, he's hot and cool, and has a hottie for a lover so I guess it's ok.

A remake of this could be good. Maybe a little less casual murder of ordinary people by the main character would be nice.
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

WingedSerpent

I saw Crawl in the theaters this weekend.  Was thinking about making a post about it-but I really couldn't decide which board to really put it on.  It wasn't bad but it was only good enough
At least, that's what Gary Busey told me...

Rev. Powell

BLOOD PARADISE (2018): A bestselling author goes to a Swedish farm to try to kickstart her creative juices for a new book; naturally, murder ensues. A dull thriller whose only appeal is its remarkably hot and frequently nude star (and co-writer, producer, co-editor, composer, set designer, etc.), Andréa Winter. 1.5/5.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Rev. Powell

THE PLAGUE DOGS (1982): A pair of dogs escape from a medical experimentation facility in Scotland and are hunted down as possible carriers of the bubonic plague. The most crushingly sad not-for-youngsters animated feature outside of GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES.  4/5.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

FatFreddysCat

"The Dukes of Hazzard" (2005)
Hillbilly cousins Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville) have to save their family farm from foreclosure by the villainous Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) by winning a fixed road race. Along the way, lots of police cars crash and stuff blows up frequently.
This update of the late 70s TV series is slightly raunchier than its source material but otherwise  it's the same dumb, car crashin' fun you'd expect. Bonus points for the inspired stunt casting of Reynolds and Willie Nelson (as Uncle Jesse), and for capturing Jessica Simpson at her peak of hotness as cousin Daisy.
"If you're a false, don't entry, because you'll be burned and died!"

Rev. Powell

RIFFTRAX: A TALKING CAT ?!?: What a lame, cheap kids movie directed by none other than David DeCoteau (under a pseudonym) and "starring" a sleepy Eric Roberts as the taking cat (?!?), who appears to have recorded his lines from the can. Cheese puffs are a major subplot. The guys do a nice job on this one, with a very funny credits-sequence segment (Rifftrax usually gets lazy and skips the credits). 3.5/5.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

FatFreddysCat

"The Dark Tower" (2017)
A strangely non-compelling fantasy/action flick based on Stephen King's multi-part epic, about a kid from New York and a legendary gunslingin' bad-ass from another dimension (Idris Elba) battling to stop a tyrant (Matthew McConaughey) from destroying both of their worlds. Or something like that.
I've only ever read the first "Dark Tower" book and that was years n' years ago, so I couldn't tell you how faithful this movie is to the source materials. If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say "not very," since this movie apparently squashed eight books' worth of stuff down to a brisk 95 minutes. Elba's performance is good, McConaughey's bad guy is a hoot ("stop breathing!") and there are a few cool action sequences, but overall the whole thing adds up to a big "meh." 
"If you're a false, don't entry, because you'll be burned and died!"

FatFreddysCat

"Army of Darkness" (1992)
The third installment in the "Evil Dead" saga plays  like a slapstick-horror version of "Monty Python & The Holy Grail," as square-jawed demon fighter Ash Williams finds himself transported to England in the 1300's, where he has to help a castle full of knights battle against a new swarm of deadites - led by an evil version of Ash himself!
Less gory and more goofy than the previous "Evil Dead" installments, "Army" is still a hoot to watch thanks to the way-cool, old school stop motion FX and Bruce Campbell's hilariously badass performance.
"If you're a false, don't entry, because you'll be burned and died!"

Rev. Powell

"Frankenstein's Monster's Monster, Frankenstein": Actor David Harbour (playing a pretentious, fictionalized version of himself) investigates a teleplay his father supposedly wrote and performed about Frankenstein pretending to be his own monster in order to secure research funding. A really odd little 30-minute one-off mockumentary with clever, highbrow jokes (running gags about Chekov's gun, Orson Welles parodies, etc.). On Netflix. 3.5/5.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

FatFreddysCat

"Shocking Dark"
(aka "Alienators," aka "Terminator 2," 1989)

A team of commandos heads into the ruins of post-apocalyptic Venice (?) to rescue scientists from a secret laboratory. Eventually they come under attack by hordes of carnivorous mutated something-or-others.

...so hey, kids, did you like "Aliens?" Cuz wow, so did the Italians who made this low-budget spaghetti remix, which spends most of its run time stealing entire scenes from it, and then it ramps up the James Cameron worship (and the WTF factor) even MORE in the last half hour by randomly throwing in a killer cyborg and a time machine!

Directed by the king of Italian ripoff artists, Bruno Mattei, and written by Claudio Fragasso of "Troll 2" fame, this semi-classic cheese fest was never released in the U.S. for obvious legal reasons but it was an apparent hit overseas. They even had the balls to use the title "Terminator 2" in some parts of the world with lax copyright laws!
"If you're a false, don't entry, because you'll be burned and died!"

Rev. Powell

DIAMONDS OF THE NIGHT (1964): Two Jewish boys escape from the Nazis and flee through the German countryside. It's easy to see why this wasn't one of the international breakout titles of the Czech New Wave: the incredibly slow beginning will lose many viewers, and the confusing middle will lose more. But the patient viewer will uncover a lot of pathos while untangling the nonlinear narrative. 3.5/5.
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

indianasmith

THE LION KING (2019)  OK, it's not a "live action" version of the original LION KING, it's a "very well done CGI version" of the original LION KING.  That being said, it is visually beautiful and faithfully replicates all the fun, drama, and pathos of the original.  I doubt it will become a timeless classic, but it was definitely worth the price of admission to the theater!
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

lester1/2jr

A Dark Song (2016) - A woman seeks to contact her dead son through an occult medium guy. I couldn't get into this. It seemed unlikely that a woman would drop out of life and do this and her whole family would just let her live in the countryside and be this loon. it was like something a creative writing teacher would write that you'd be like thats why they teach instead of working as a writer. 2.75/ 5

Svengoolie 3

Quote from: Rev. Powell on July 25, 2019, 09:11:57 AM
THE PLAGUE DOGS (1982): A pair of dogs escape from a medical experimentation facility in Scotland and are hunted down as possible carriers of the bubonic plague. The most crushingly sad not-for-youngsters animated feature outside of GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES.  4/5.

Thank you for the warning.
The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.

FatFreddysCat

"Tale of the Fox: The Eric Carr Story" (2000)

Low budget video documentary about the late Kiss drummer's life and career, made up mainly of grainy home movies and video clips. Gene and Paul are nowhere to be seen, but Bruce Kulick tells some good stories and members of Slaughter and Cinderella drop by to share their memories of Eric too.
I dig Kiss and I respect Eric as much as the next fanboy, but overall this was a pretty dull doc that doesn't have much to say besides "Eric was a nice guy and it sucks that he's dead." For diehards only. Eric deserves better than this.
"If you're a false, don't entry, because you'll be burned and died!"