Stuff Your Mom Used To Say

[ER]

Hellfire and buttercups!

[ER]

Here, look, I'm being patient with you but if you don't stop that I'll turn you over to the Magdalens, for sure!

[ER]

The problem with cats is they demand too much from people. You let them sleep on the chairs and then soon they want under the covers with you at night, like you married them.

[ER]

I don't fight with your dad, I talk to him til he understands what I mean.

[ER]

Sure I was happy I had a girl when I had you, but mind you I did have some sweet boys names waiting to use.

[ER]

Because it's not a nice word, and if you use words like that people start thinking your mother didn't bring you up right. So think of me if you say that word. There, that's cured you, hasn't it?

[ER]

Eastenders is a morality play to your gran's thinking. Gays get AIDS, Angie's liver failed her because of drink, Den got shot and dumped in a canal for being a dishonest man, kids do drugs and automatically OD, Michelle Fowler had sex once and got pregnant. It's kind of like how she thinks God ought to get people in real life, so it keeps her hoping.

[ER]

Go out and win nice now! (Her concept of how I should play tennis.)

[ER]

I was married a virgin, did that set the bar too high for you?

[ER]

It's not hard to sound American, I found. I just watched lots of American TV and started talking through my nose and saying "like" a lot.

[ER]

If I see you flush one more Kleenex down the toilet I'm going to make you blow your nose on toilet paper til you leave home.

[LilCerberus]

Some people live from payday to payday, and other people live 'on' payday.

[RCMerchant]

To my dad- " You whore master!"
To a random person walking in the middle of the street in Manhattan while she's driving a car-
" Do you need a dog and a cane?! Get off the street, mo-mo!"
She was from NYC.

[ER]

"We are descendants of the fairy folk."

[ER]

"Most people are nice."