any bad ninja film fans out there?

[mugwump]

hey everybody, for all you maritial art buffs out there, are there any ninja films you could recommend. (Good and bad). I've rented some prettty funny ones so far, "The Deadly Life Of A Ninja," "Ninja: The Protector"-really crappy and unoriginally made, yet funny, and "Ninja Hunter," this one really STINKS! Also beware marital art fans, the box claims chuck norris is in the film, but HE'S NOT, it's some other lame-ass, named CHICK NORRIS, welcome to the world of action film marketing.

[Brian Ringler]

One time I was at a punk concert and I made some stupid comment about Chuck Norris for one reason or another.  Then this kid came up to me and said he was related to Chuck Norris.  I gave him a funny look.  Then he said he has pictures with him to prove it.  I didn't really care, so I walked away.  Sorry, this is the only comment I could come up with since its late and I'm a little drunk, otherwise I might have something decent to say.

[mugwump]

ha ha, it's cool bro. Yeah i used to take karate from a real experienced fighter who fought Norris in a real bloody match, i s**t you not.

[Flangepart]

Chuck Norris. The Republican Al Gore. Keep him away from open flame, as wood burns so easliy.

[The Bard]

I haven't seen too many bad ninja films, but I will always stand by my claim that nothing can be as bad as Mortal Kombat : Annhilation. Attempting to throw 60 or so charectors into a 90 minute movie  doesn't work, and neither did the 2 second fights through the whole movie. Me and my buddy, who were alone in the theatre actually had an usher bother us when we fell asleep halfway through the movie. Before I met my "MTV Lovin'" Girlfriend I had never experinced as much pain in a single movie.

And I can't belive they have plans for a 3rd in the series.

[N. E. Moses]

Bard, I agree with you 1001% about that torrid movie. (and might I add--Shao         Kahn, can you say "over act"?)  And you said something along the lines about ANOTHER MORTAL KOMBAT MOVIE AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!  After seeing MKII: Annhilation, I'd rather shoot myself in the nuts and head than watch more torture.

And your question, muggy.  I got a movie in mind. I'll give you a hint: "Who's the master?"  "Sho-nuff!"  "Who's the master?" "Sho-nuff!"  If you like 80's music and the cute way Ernie Reyes Jr. was looking when he starts fighing.

[Guitarwolf]

I'd recommend Duel to the Death. That flick has the coolest Ninja sequences. These guys are true ninjas. They fly, pop up out of the ground, throw about 100 ninja stars in about two seconds and One giant ninja breaks apart into five seperate ninjas only to become a naked girl. Too bad they never made a sequel.

[Andrew]

Hey, I like this film and have been thinking about doing a review.  How can you go wrong with a kung fu movie about Bruce Leroy (a pious warrior) searching for "the glow?"

Bad ninja films though?  Ugh, "Counter Destroyer."

Andrew

[peter johnson]

I acted in a very very bad Tae Kwan Do movie called "Kill Line".  I asked some people on the film what were some good Ninja films, and they told me the "American Ninja" film was quite good.  Their definition of "Good"  is not mine.
Excerable film, shot in Hong Kong for $35, with scenes in San Francisco, or somewhere.  Very bad acting.  Subnormal sound.  Lighting from the 7-11 school of lurid neon.
Gawd . . .

[Mofo Rising]

Andrew wrote:
>
> Hey, I like this film and have been thinking about
> doing a review.  How can you go wrong with a kung fu movie
> about Bruce Leroy (a pious warrior) searching for "the glow?"
>
> Bad ninja films though?  Ugh, "Counter Destroyer."
>
> Andrew

I love THE LAST DRAGON.  Ahem, I mean BERRY GORDY'S THE LAST DRAGON.  I remember watching it as a kid and thinking it was the most badass thing I've ever seen.  When Sho'Nuff's dunking Bruce Leroy's head and yelling "Who's the Master?" and Bruce Leroy jumps out with The Glow and says "I am." and catches the bullet in his teeth?  Man, that is high cinema.  I was ready to run out and conquer the world after that movie.  Ah, the innocence of childhood.

Another bad kung-fu (not ninja, sorry) movie that got me pumped up as a kid was NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER.  You may remember it as the movie that introduced Van Damme to most audiences.  If you get the chance to watch it again, don't.  It'll just ruin a priceless memory.

As for ninja movies, I've always a found a reliable indicator of quality is if the cover is shiny or not.  If there's some sort of gold glitter or shiny silver, you've got a masterpiece in your hands.

[mugwump]

Yeah, i've never seen any of the american ninja series, but i have seen Enter the Ninja, with Franc Nero. The film's plot is really hard to take seriously but nevertheless the action's pretty good.

[janice]

i hate to be a smartass, but do you realize that you wrote "marital arts" instead of "martial arts" ?

[Flangepart]

It could work. Mugwump spoke of..ahem..."Enter the Ninja". Great, now a gay porno/ninja comes to mind. Not my cup of green tea..........

[N. E. Moses]

What ninja movie would be complete without those "heroes in a half-shell".  Those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michaeangelo) made three movies.  The first one was...ok, the second one was not good  (even if it had an older Ernie Reyes Jr.), and the last one was just plain s**tty.  Besides, Vanilla Ice singing the "Ninja Rap" on TMNT II did not help is already bombing career.

History Lesson for all me comic books and cartoon buffs: TMNT became famous for being something they were not.  Those reptiles were killing and dismembering villians. That is, until the parents wrote and call and thus made them namby-pamby s**t we see today.

[mugwump]

yes, i was under the influence when i wrote it & i didn't realize i spelled it wrong until i looked at the paragraph again. ha ha. hope there's no english teachers out there.