Recent Viewings, Part 2

[Trevor]

"River Of Death" (1989)
Twenty years after World War II, a South American jungle guide (Michael "American Ninja" Dudikoff) leads an expedition to a fabled Lost City in a remote, cannibal-infested part of the Amazon, where an ex-Nazi scientist (Robert Vaughn) has been hiding out creating the Ultimate Weapon.
A goofy but entertaining "Indiana Jones" wanna-be from good ol' Cannon Films.

Filmed in South Africa 😊

[lester1/2jr]

Krull (1983) - Fascinating German documentary about the inventor of the Kruller donut. No, it's a passable sci fi adventure movie that I've vaguely wanted to see since it came out. The title implies something darker and more violent than what ultimately transpires, but it's decent. In fact, it's the definition of decent. Some might think it's great, some might think it's stupid, but ... it's decent.

In the (very) heavily Star Wars influenced opening, the plot of rescuing a kidnapped princess is set. Basically it's a medieval type world, but it's in space so they have lasers (which my friend Jared assures me sound exactly like the ones from Star Wars).


Here is one of the guys who goes around in the space forest on the way to the thing.




Some much need comedy relief comes in the form of a British guy who is one of those bad magicians like Presto from Dungeons and Dragons. The princess and the final boss guy's character are kind of just there, they needed to be developed a lot more. Sex and evil are actually pretty interesting things to people, without it you're left with a kid's movie with more aggressive than usual swordplay.

Glad I finally watched it, but I'd much rather see "Zu Warriors from the Magic mountain" or "Clash of the Titans" or something as far as early 80's sci fi/ adventure stuff. Mostly of interest because of the large-ish budget and as an artifact.

3.75/ 5

[M.10rda]

I sense you are being very kind, and you make some good points, but also I insist that we mention the cast, which (besides the bland yet nice-looking leads) contains several Great British actors (including a couple of my favorites) getting stabbed/wincing in pain/etc.  (That swordplay is very aggressive!)

Also, since you mentioned Ergo the Magnificent (indirectly), I feel obligated to mention that there are no fewer than three "Magic" Dudes, so naturally one of them could spend his stats on "Charisma" rather than "Dour Wisdom". But on that topic, I'd like to say that Ynyr (Freddie Jones!) is a much better written character than Ben Kenobi in the original STAR WARS (or... after!) and has a far more dramatic/tragic arc. Alec Guinness is great but I rewatched A NEW HOPE a couple years ago and... honestly his exit is almost as cheap and hollow as Han's in TFA. Ynyr's sequences with the Widow of the Web and the sand are... haunting and profound!  Of course Guinness was more famous and was nominated for an Oscar for playing some very silly scenes with gravitas in STAR WARS... but if he'd played Ynyr I bet he would have won!

I also rewatched CLASH OF THE TITANS around the same time as STAR WARS. It has a few awesome FX moments but it doesn't hold up as a movie nearly as well as KRULL. And ZU is much more visually inventive than KRULL, but... ZU also drags! Just sayin'.

[Rev. Powell]

I remember KRULL as being fun, not magnificent, but fun. Saw it in theaters at the right age (15).

BABY INVASION (2024): A first person POV run of the VR video game "Baby Invasion" (that may or may not be also occurring in real life), where players go on a home invasion while disguised as babies while digital effects play across the screen. A bad trip disguised as a movie disguised as a video game. Liked Harmony Korine's nihilistic experiment more than I expected to--he may be doing actual satire for a change. 2.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981)
It's 1936, and pistol packin' whip crackin' archeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones is on a quest to find a powerful ancient artifact before the Nazis do.
Lucas and Spielberg's action packed ode to old fashioned movie serials is still one of the best adventure films ever made. I will never get tired of re-visiting this one.

[lester1/2jr]

M Iorda - I guess it's all kind of subjective. Clash of the Titans' overall aesthetic of Ancient Greece and so forth was, to me, superior to the medieval/ space hodgepodge of Krull, as was the opium dream (or nightmare) of Zu. The best movie of all time of course is Weekend at Bernie's 2 and the part where he's walking on the ocean floor while the people in the submarine see him is the best fx.

[M.10rda]

"Opium dream (or nightmare)" is a very good description of ZU. Lawrence Olivier is a real d1ck in CLASH and his scenes help sell it as a real movie. You're right, it's subjective, I love Greek mythology but I'll take misty swamps over sunny sand and mountains any day. You've also sold WEEKEND @ BERNIE'S 2 for me - never seen it but I sure did enjoy the original as a wee fat lad. However BABY INVASION sounds like the best movie of all time to me.

[indianasmith]

Guys, guys, guys -
We ALL know the greatest film ever made was SCARLETT FRY'S JUNK FOOD HORROR FEST!

[FatFreddysCat]

"Don't Turn Your Back: The Story of Heretic" (2024)
Full length documentary covering the long and bumpy history of Heretic, the cult Californian speed/power metal band and Metal Massacre VII alumni, who have connections to Metal Church, Reverend, b***h, Deliverance, and more. I wish it had included more clips of the band's music and fewer talking heads, but overall this is a cool piece full of nerdy underground metal trivia. Free on YouTube.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Return of Spinal Tap" (1992)

The trailer for the upcoming "Spinal Tap II: The End Continues" has been making the rounds lately, but longtime fans might remember that there's already *been* a Tap pseudo-sequel, in the form of this somewhat unjustly forgotten concert film (with some comedic bits in between songs) that was shot at London's Royal Albert Hall on the 1992 "Break Like The Wind" reunion tour.

(By the way... one of my great concert-going regrets is that I did not see them on that reunion run. Sigh.)

I used to have this on VHS! DVDs appear to be scarce and pricey collectibles, but thankfully it's been uploaded to YouTube to tide us over till the new movie arrives next month...

[Trevor]

Guys, guys, guys -
We ALL know the greatest film ever made was SCARLETT FRY'S JUNK FOOD HORROR FEST!

Indeed. I think a bump is due fir that thread 😁😁🐢

[zombie no.one]

8 MILE (2002)

Always loved rap/hip hop but never liked Eminem, so this has never really been on my to-watch list.

I disliked it for different reasons than I thought I would. I'm glad it went for quite a downbeat tone and generally steered clear of fratboy style goofing around and/or typical gross out comedy, but at the same time I thought it needed more entertainment factor. It's just too insular and wrapped up in itself. not enough of a story or moments of excitement going on. Not a badly made movie though.

[M.10rda]

"WINNETOU PART 1" APACHE GOLD (1963):
This is the first installment of a trilogy (?) currently labeled dutifully on Prime as WINNETOU PARTs 1 through 3. The series was adapted from a series of German pulp westerns that Tarantino loves yakking about (and name-checked in INGLORIOUS BASTERDS). This installment is also a nice follow-up (for me anyway) to the recently viewed APACHE DRUMS, in that APACHE GOLD goes even further in acknowledging that native Americans had plentiful reason to feel hostile towards white folks. Also, as early 60s westerns go, APACHE GOLD is a pretty good time.

In a welcome break from outlaws, heists, and revenge plots, APACHE GOLD presages later westerns and focuses on conflicts arising from the construction of a railroad through indigenous territory. Apache Prince Winnetou seeks to resolve the misunderstanding through diplomacy or, if necessary, through force; mean moustached dude "Santer" wants to kill anyone who impedes the progress of the railroad, including Winnetou and also any white bureaucrats who oppose him. Fortunately for Winnetou, he finds a surprise ally in "Old Shatterhand", a tough blonde S.O.B. who likes fair-play and contractual fidelity! This A-plot climaxes in massive (and impressive) mayhem between three factions in a small town, then oddly goes off in a different and less exciting direction for the film's final 30 minutes, which ultimately involves the eponymous Apache lucre. One can totally see why Tarantino likes these stories - they go wherever they please with no concern for the audience's patience. (Santer does reappear at the end though to suffer a gleefully grisly comeuppance.)

While APACHE GOLD is progressive in terms of its sympathy for natives, it's still a little troubling in how it injects a Caucasian messiah to solve the Apache's problems (and absorb their spleen). Old Shatterhand goes to great lengths to save Winnetou's life early in the film, yet Winnetou and most of the other Apaches conveniently forget that he's the only paleface standing up for them later on. They tie him to a pole, threaten to burn him alive, and then ritually hunt him in a "Most Dangerous Game"-type scenario.    I'm sure Fox News pundits would complain about the ingratitude of these Apaches, but Old Shatterhand takes all their abuse stoically on the chin, and when their misunderstandings have been resolved, O.S. instantly drops any potential grievance with the tribe. It is, to use a problematic old idiom, Mighty White of him. 

In spite of its handsome production values, APACHE GOLD also probably qualifies as a Bad Movie. Lex Barker looks great when he's shooting or swimming or standing still, yet he's incapable of throwing a convincing punch, which is the primary distinguishing characteristic of Old Shatterhand!  There's one wide-shot during the huge fracas where Apaches bumrush and wrestle two white guys in medium-wide shot, then it cuts directly to a different medium-wide angle where the same two white guys are free and the Apaches bumrush and wrestle them all over again.   O.S.'s "crazy old frontiersman" sidekick has a simply preposterous wig, moustache, and beard - but in at least one close-up, the actor isn't wearing the moustache.     

There's also a comic relief British guy who contributes nothing to the plot whatsoever. The Prime print is mostly dubbed, then occasionally in German w/ subtitles, and all of the British guy's scenes never made the cut for English dubbing. It's cool though that someone cared enough about this rather obscure old Euro-western to mash up multiple prints.
3/5
I'll watch the next two.