Recent Viewings, Part 2

[FatFreddysCat]

"Real Genius" (1985)
A high school whiz kid is accepted into a prestigious university science program, where he joins a team of students (headed by a young Val Kilmer) working on an experimental laser project. They soon learn that their shady professor (William Atherton from "Ghostbusters") is using their work to develop a weapon for the CIA. Wacky hi links ensue as Kilmer and his misfit crew put a stop to it.
This cult 80s campus comedy is smarter and less raunchy than many of its contemporaries, and as a result it's aged pretty well. I hadn't seen this since it first hit cable when I was in high school, and it was fun revisiting it all these years later.

[Rev. Powell]

EBONY & IVORY (2024): Perpetually angry Stevie arrives by rowboat in Scotland to stay with fellow musical legend Paul at his SCOTTISH COTTAGE; they go swimming, look at sheep, and have hot chocies and foot strokies, but never actually get around to composing the title song. With only two characters mostly just conversing, it's less textured than THE GREASY STRANGLER, and so you  really have to be keyed into Jim Hosking's particular sense of anti-humor, which relies on repetition of non-funny phrases so many times that they (hopefully) become funny, and absolute, unflinching absurdity for its effect. 2.5/5.

[lester1/2jr]

Freddy- I keep almost watching that. Maybe, I'll finally take the plunge.

Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lamprays (2014) - Science lesson every 15 minutes type syfy movie from The Asylum.

"We need to get to the aqueduct. The lamprays are gonna spread to Lake Michigan!" 

"I thought Lampreys couldn't live in salt water?"

"These aren't ordinary lampreys...they're evil!" 

"It's okay, honey..." 

(note: Lake Michigan is freshwater and lampreys can live in both, but you get the idea.)

Shannen Doherty resembles late/ hardcore junkie era Nico of Velvet Underground fame. She (Doherty) eventually died of breast cancer, not sure if she was suffering from it here, but she seems a bit lethargic. She plays the Mom and doesn't really radiate motherly warmth nor do her kids look even slightly like her. I loved her on 90210 though, so it was a colorful enough casting choice.

The CGI lampreys are everywhere and of course some people stand there and are like "No!" instead of doing anything, but the daughter does a good job of fighting back. Weedwackers and even a curling iron are employed in this pursuit, along with a big sciencey plan to like reverse electricity in the world or something.

I'm not remotely as schooled in this stuff as many on here, but I did enjoy Blood Lake more than other ones of this kind of thing. My favorite part was when the forest ranger main guy went on tv and was like " You should take your vacation someplace else, these lampreys are out of control" and the Jaws type mayor was like "Noooooooo!"

4/5

[FatFreddysCat]

"RoboCop: Prime Directives - Meltdown" (2001)
In part two of the "Prime Directives" series of TV movies, Robo has been accused of murder, and OCP creates a new and improved RoboCop model from the corpse of Alex Murphy's former partner. As you might expect, a lot of bullets fly and things get broken when the two Robos finally meet.
This series has been cheesy fun so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter soon.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Kept Woman" (2014)
A young woman is kidnapped by her creepy next door neighbor, who keeps her prisoner in a '50s' inspired bunker in his basement.
A taut made for TV thriller supposedly "based on true events."

[FatFreddysCat]

"Stone Cold" (1991)

An Alabama cop (ex-NFL star Brian Bosworth) goes undercover as a member of a vicious, drug trafficking biker gang. Many heads are busted.

...remember when Hollywood tried to turn Bosworth into the Next Big Action Hero? It didn't happen, but the Bos' film debut is still an enjoyable slab of gloriously over the top ultra-violence. He can't act worth a damn, of course, but the stunt work and pyrotechnics are on point, and William Forsythe and the ever-dependable Lance Henriksen chew more than enough scenery to make up for the leading man's lack of chops.

Bonus Metal Points for the use of Saigon Kick's "Coming Home" in the background of one scene.

[M.10rda]

UrbEx (2025) -
I could easily write this off as a total failure, but I liked the shots of the dang warehouse. It's just a cool looking place that I would like to turn into a DIY skate spot, have punk shows, or just hang out in even though I'm 50. 

MAN, I love a good location! You kind of just successfully sold this movie!

[lester1/2jr]

MAN, I love a good location! You kind of just successfully sold this movie!

That must be a first!

Are You in The House Alone? (1978) - They showed this as a horror movie on my local UHF station when I was a kid, but it really isn't. It's good though, and pretty ballsy for a made for tv experience.

In the first scene we learn that the main character, the rather fetching Kathleen Beller, has been raped and the rest of the movie we try and figure out which one of the creepy and weird men we meet did it. Regardless of who the perpetrator is one thing is clear, the photography teacher needs to be fired! Basically, every scene he's in he's telling the girl she's sexy and leaning all over her and so forth. Is he the one who is calling her up and going "Are you in the house alone" though?

She was babysitting when the crime occurred, so why didn't she just yell so the sleeping kids would come downstairs and see the guy? Who knows, but I did enjoy this tv movie that could probably earn a PG 13 rating. Dennis Quaid plays a jerky football guy, Keller was in The Sword and The Sorcerer and on the soap opera Dynasty.

4.5 /5

[FatFreddysCat]

"Tricks of the Trade" (1988)

The comfy life of a mousy Beverly Hills housewife (Cindy Williams, "Laverne and Shirley") is turned upside down when her husband (John Ritter) is murdered - in the apartment of a Hollywood prostitute (Markie "Night Court" Post). When some mysterious bad guys begin threatening both women, they join forces to find out who murdered him, and why.

This lightweight made-for-TV mystery/comedy makes the most of the odd-couple chemistry between its two leading ladies, and of course Markie is fabulous eye candy throughout as she rocks a variety of "working-girl" outfits. Not a must see by any means, but a decent time waster on a rainy evening.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Hunters of the Golden Cobra" (1982)
During the last days of World War II, a pair of soldiers of fortune are sent into the Filipino jungle to recover The Golden Cobra - an ancient artifact reputed to have supernatural powers. Along the way they encounter savage tribes, damsels in distress, murderous religious fanatics, volcanic eruptions, and more.
A better than expected Italian knock off of "Raiders of the Lost Ark," directed by Antonio Margheriti of "Cannibal Apocalypse" and "Yor, Hunter From The Future" fame. I was entertained, but your mileage may vary depending on your tolerance for spaghetti schlock.

[lester1/2jr]

Deadly Messages (1985) - Its "Kathleen Beller Made For TV Movie Week" here on the lester1/2jr Recent Viewings Show. This is a worthy, clever, but a little bland offering that is more overtly horror than "Are you in the House Alone?" but not quite as successful. Thus, it hasn't made it to tubitv and the youtube version quality is good but not great. "Are you in the House Alone?" could survive on it's drama, but this one probably needed more nudity and gory kills. I watched it in one night, though and it's better than a lot of stuff. Beller doesn't look quite as good here due to bonky 80's hairstyle.

A woman ( Beller) finds a Ouija board in her closet. Immediately everything goes totally haywire. Her roommate is killed, she gets fired from her job, and no one believes her that a goon with a giant knife is chasing her around town. She has no choice but to make the classic horror movie pilgrimage: the microfiche machine at the local library. Armed with an old article, she can now start to put the dang mystery into place.

It's mid 80's but feels kind of 70's. Dennis Franz plays a "not buying all of this" detective. The print is 1080 pp but taken from a 2nd or 3rd generation source.

4.25 /5

tonight's movie: some other movie starring this lady!