Recent Viewings, Part 2

[FatFreddysCat]

"Zapped!" (1982)
A lab accident gives a high school science whiz (Scott Baio) telekinetic powers, which he uses to get even with bullies, cheat at gambling, and (most importantly) make girls' clothes fly off.
This cheap, silly teen T&A comedy was a cable TV staple when I was in high school, so even though it's dumb as rocks, it was still fun to revisit it. The supporting cast includes Scott's future "Charles in Charge" co-star Willie Aames and a pre-"Fall Guy" Heather Thomas. Tragically, the end credits inform us that the topless scene involving Heather's character used a body double, not the real Ms. Thomas, which absolutely broke my heart when I was a teen.

[Dr. Whom]

Seven Samurai (1954)

At 207 minutes, this is epic in every respect. It is much more than your basic adventure story, with social commentary on a wide range of themes. It does suffer from what I'd call the Dune Syndrome, in that so many later productions have taken themes, tropes and story beats from it, making it now look more stereotypical than it is. Very impressive nevertheless.

I went in largely unprepared, so I was surprised by Mifune's character, who was a lot more insane than I expected. Also, he fights in some random pieces and a thong, a set up I had never seen outside of Frank Frazetta's illustrations.

[M.10rda]

I hang out here because a review of SEVEN SAMURAI can follow a review of ZAPPED! 

THIRTEEN (2003):
I believe this is the only film I've watched so far this month      but such is the life of a workaholic. I only sat down and watched this because my wife started watching it and I hadn't seen it since the Toronto IFF in 2003. Still I remembered many scenes vividly, including Jeremy Sisto's powerfully understated final big scene - what happened to Jeremy Sisto, incidentally? I did somehow forget that Deborah Kara Unger was in this film, in spite of her giving a monstrous performance as a trainwreck. Vanessa Hudgens and some other people I couldn't possibly have recognized in 2003 who now have had careers are also in it. Evan Rachel Wood was young in this and (for all I know) starring in this film screwed up her wiring enough to make her ideal prey for Marilyn Manson in years to follow, though Wood is completely credible anyway.

The main attraction though is Holly Hunter, who earned one of her four Oscar nominations for playing Wood's mom. (She's won only once, for THE PIANO.) Hunter is an incredible onscreen presence when given a worthy role, as in RAISING ARIZONA or MISS FIRECRACKER and in a very different, more subdued yet no less moving performance here. THIRTEEN is thoughtful and well-made enough to be a cut-above an Afterschool Special otherwise, but Hunter elevates it to inescapable Good Movie status.

Director Catherine Hardwicke co-wrote this with 15yo Nikki Reed, who plays Wood's toxic bestie. They went on to work on several other projects including at least one of the TWILIGHT movies.  THIRTEEN still holds up 22 years later. Teens still act like this and parents still feign utter horror and disbelief at the behavior. Hardwicke and Reed could probably easily turn this into a stage play and it would come across well.
4/5
Or, in the prevailing spirit of our pop culture, they could turn it into THIRTEEN! THE MUSICAL. 

[lester1/2jr]

I liked 13. I call it Snob -poitation, an exploitation movie that gets critical accolades a la Kids or Do The Right Thing (snob blacksploitation).

[lester1/2jr]

The House and the White String (2020) - Another short (40 minutes) found footage thing on Tubi. This is a little scarier than UrbEx (2025) but the location isn't as cool and the series of events makes less sense. The director has some good instincts as far as going to where the scares are, but this has a real bad case of "Why doesn't he just leave" syndrome and also some other problems.

A few interesting things and at 40 minutes it doesn't wear out it's welcome, but your thing should be a little further along before you submit it to be viewed by innocent viewers. Check it out if you like correcting and finishing peoples movies for them ( I kind of do).

2/5

[HappyGilmore]

Drop.A Chicago therapist goes on a first date with someone she's been talking to via a dating service app. She was previously married and in an abusive relationship. She's nervous leaving her son for a few hours while her sister babysits.

As the date begins, she starts getting increasingly violent messages from a digi-drop short range messaging service. The texter had someone break into her home and says that her sister and son will be killed...unless she poisons her dates shot glass.

It goes on from there, she finds out who the person was, etc.

It's better than I've made it seem. Not an Oscar type film, and the last fifteen minutes are really good.

[lester1/2jr]

Phantom Ship (1935) - Some super old movies can be really gritty and dark and this is one of them. In fact, it's honestly pretty depressing. I mean come on, it must be KIND of fun to be shanghaied onto a boat where a murderer is loose? After watching this in 1935, I would certainly have been open to getting some bathtub gin or opium.

Bela Lugosi is excellent as an old sailor on The Marie Celeste, a ship that actually existed and is remembered as a "ghost ship", where it was found with no one on it. The movie is the writer's guess about the sort of thing that could have happened.

It's a real downer, but I enjoyed it because I was in a bad f**king mood.

3.99/5

[Rev. Powell]

ON THE SILVER GLOBE (shot in 1977, completed in 1988): A trio of astronauts stranded on an Earthlike planet populate it with their offspring; years later, another Earthling visits and is viewed as the messiah who will lead them to conquer the bird alien Sherns. The backstory on this long-shelved Andrzej Żuławski sci-fi epic is at least as interesting as the finished project, which is a typically overwrought spectacle of avant-garde techniques, dense existential faux-poetic dialogue that seldom relates to the story, deliberate overacting, and general luxurious excess. 3.5/5.

BOYS GO TO JUPITER (2024): A 16-year old math prodigy tries to raise $5,000 delivering for grubhub, but his plans are complicated when a childlike alien attaches itself to him. This breezy and highly original independently-animated feature is a likable blend of teen absurdity, musical numbers, and capitalist satire. 3.5/5.

[Dr. Whom]

The Magnificent Seven (1960)

After watching the Seven Samurai, I realised that I had never really seen The Magnificent Seven, so I watched that when the original was still fresh in my mind. Some thoughts on the adaptation

It is not always clear why they decided to keep some elements, but change others.
Gunslingers aren't samurai. In the original, it is all about the social dynamics between peasants and samurai. The bandits are an anonymous threat, even the chief hardly has any text. This social commentary is largely absent from the Magnificent Seven, which plays out as a duel between Yul Brunner and Eli Wallach.
This dynamic also makes for a completely different climactic battle. In the original this is a regular siege, fought with military tactics, rather than the plotting and counterplotting in the western.
Losses are handled differently. The samurai strike blows at the enemy, but each blow comes at a cost, and they a gradually whittled down. In the western everything is going fine and then, bang bang, three dead. Perhaps the actors didn't want to die before the last reel.
In the context of the western, it makes sense to combine Mifune and Kimura into Horst Buchholz. This makes room for Steve McQueen, but I feel he is underused. This is very much Yul Brunner's show.

As you might have guessed, I liked Seven Samurai better, but then, I've never been much of western fan. So the fact that I liked the Magnificent Seven is already very significant.

[lester1/2jr]

Flesh Eating Mothers (1989) - This type of overtly campy horror thing is not usually my bag, but that's why I gave it a shot. I ended up liking it quite a bit.

Somehow, some sort of disease gets developed that turns women into zombie looking cannibals. A local Don Juan unknowingly spreads this apparently sexually transmitted disease to various desperate housewives, who all then try to eat whoever is close by, namely their own children!

Filled to the gills with vodka and bad Chinese food, I admit I nodded off a few times, but I don't think I missed much. Basically, the first half is more comedy and takes place in people's homes and offices and second half is everyone being chased around the town at night. Horror comedy is an even bigger genre now than it was in 1989, but this has a very different approach than "Jennifer's Body" or the one with the two hillbilly guys and the wood chipper.

My favorite part was when the one cannibal mom simply bites her son on the forehead and he runs away.  She probably should have started with something fleshier.

4.25 /5

Watched in one night, but while it was refreshing and entertaining, I wasn't exactly spellbound. That said:  MUCH better than I thought it would be.

[FatFreddysCat]

"RoboCop: Resurrection" (2001)
In the third chapter of the "Prime Directives" series of TV movies, RoboCop and his robo-tized former partner find themselves on opposite sides of a battle between two groups of hackers, one of whom is about to launch a deadly computer virus. As usual, lots of bullets fly, and lots of stuff blows up. Big, loud, dumb fun.