Recent Viewings, Part 2

[FatFreddysCat]

"Burial Ground" (aka "The Nights of Terror," 1981)
Three couples arrive at a villa in the Italian countryside, planning to have a weekend of fun and fornication. Unfortunately, they're soon under siege from a horde of zombies, awakened from an archeological dig on the property. Yes, that's the whole plot.
This virtually plotless Italian splatter fest has some cool looking zombies and gross-out effects, but the main reason it's remembered today is the bizarro casting of Peter Bark, a 25 year old midget, as a creepy 12 year old kid who has a rather, shall we say, unhealthy fixation on his boob-a-licious Mom. This eventually leads to the film's most notorious scene, which I will not spoil, but I will warn that it'll make you say "HOLY s**t I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WENT THERE!"
You can safely avoid this one unless you have a fondness for barely coherent Spaghetti schlock.

[M.10rda]

THE PORTRAIT (1915):
At last, kind of an actual horror movie from the silent era! This is a rare live action effort from animator Wladislaw Starewich that originally ran 45 minutes. For a while, it was thought that only 8 minutes had survived, so I watched those on Youtube...

Wow! No spoilers in case you have 8 minutes to spare - this starts as a typical stagey silent flick and then near the end hits you with a legit jump scare that is super-creepy and well-executed. Starevich actually pulls off a "special" effect, similar though even more effective to the one in the beginning of 1919's EERIE TALES starring COnrad Veidt. If we could pretend that THE PORTRAIT was only 8 minutes long, it would be a 4.5/5 easy.

But, impressed as I was, I did research and found another 14 surviving minutes of the full 45-minute PORTRAIT. These scenes depict some of what happens to the main character after the jump scare, which is kind of boring. They also include a flashback which explains the backstory behind the jump scare... which is mildly interesting and includes another pseudo-"special effect", but which I could've lived without. I suppose THE PORTRAIT is missing its climax, which might be as exciting as the first 8 minutes, but who knows.

Another one of those "the more I knew the less I liked it" scenarios, though it's still worth watching those first 8 minutes!    3.5/5

[lester1/2jr]

Man of Faith: The Cord (2016) - I'm embarrassed to admit that I kind of liked a couple of the Pastor Steve Sanderson clips I watched. He's a modern far right Baptist preacher who has gotten in some trouble for his anti gay rhetoric, among other things. I'm not anti gay at all, but I appreciated the fact that he seemed to be plugged in to what is going on and not afraid to ruffle feathers. In one thing, he talked about going to a synagogue and seeing The full Talmud. His reaction "God said all of this?"

Well, this isn't about any of that, at all. As punchy and overheated as his rhetoric is, it's pretty much par for the course for FOX News era megachurch babble. This documentary is specifically about the treatment his 12 (!) kids have suffered due to the insanely violent, demanding, and hellish home life he and his wife have created.

Sanderson is a modern preacher and the director is a modern documentarian. He is seen attaching a lie detector to the four now adult kids before he interviews them. Key points that Sanderson makes are dissected by other preachers. It's no surprise that Sanderson at one point taunts the director from the pulpit. Bottom line: It's pretty clear that Sanderson sadistically beat his kids. In a demented attempt to both justify and deny this, he quotes all kind of Old Testament scripture about disciplining children. The director, Paul Wittenberger, has a Jewish sounding name but is far right conspiracy guy who's other documentaries include "Flouride: Poison on Tap".

5/5