The True Moral of the Movie

[saintmort]

Alright here's the deal, take a movie and create what you think the TRUE moral was...

Example: Beetlejuice - Moral: Hit Dogs with your car

[odinn7]

Mad Max- Going on vacation from work is hazardous

Die Hard- Always make sure you're wearing shoes

[Scott H]

poltergeist-  24 hour programming prevents poltergeists from your house.

[Ozzymandias]

Predator - if two guys fight a monster, they will eventually become governor in some state.

[JohnL]

Lethal Weapon - Always trust the suicidal crazy guy.

[Drezzy Mac]

Aliens - Don't trust no b***h.*
Phonebooth - Cellphones are good for you.
Toxic Avenger - Never go to New Jersey.


*Because, after all, had the marines all been well-armed inside the Hive, more of them would have likely survived.

[Writer]

The "point" or "moral" of any B-movie is usually one of the "lessons" mentioned in the review of that movie on this site, and these are exactly what makes mocking any given movie so much fun.

Some lessons from bad movies that I like skewering:

Crash and Burn:
Big corporations are bad. They're bad! Bad! Bad!

Red-Blooded American Girl:
Vampires, drugs, and medical equipment are really sexy.

Saved!:
Tolerance is the one true God. Christians are evil for not worshipping Tolerance.

Water World:
All a gruff loner really needs to make him a nice guy is an adorably scruffy little girl.

Guyver:
Killing lots of evil mutant creatures can impress your girlfriend, teach you how to control your temper, and generally make you a better person.

Logan's Run:
Being a reformed totalitarian enforcer from a dystopian society will make the pretty girl fall in love with you.

Fahrenheit 9/11:
Bush is  bad. Really, really bad.

Double Dragon:
We can actually make a movie from  a video game primarily about beating the crap out of people. No really, we can!

Natural Born Killers:
If we throw in enough eye candy, mass murder can be cool.

[nobody]

"Sleepaway Camp" parts 1, 2 and 3: Naked chicks are nice to look at.

[Menard]

nobody wrote:

> "Sleepaway Camp" parts 1, 2 and 3: Naked chicks are nice to look at.


With regard to the first SLEEPAWAY CAMP, that wasn't a chick and it wasn't nice to look at.

[Dianetics]

Donnie Darko: Die in bed and the world will be a better place

[daveblackeye15]

Riki-oh: Love your fellow man and be peaceful.

[Tor Satana]

Russ Meyer's - Faster p***ycat Kill Kill!

moral: "venusian blubber cups - they're called breasts mama, and every girl has em'."

sorry...got distracted - what were we talking about?

[MasterBlaster]

Faster p***ycat Kill Kill - There's no sexier way to die than to be beaten to death by Tura Satana

[Andrew]

The one that always jumps out at me is in 20 Million Miles to Earth.

Do the wrong thing - get paid twice.

[BeyondTheGrave]

Oldboy- NEVER start rumors


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 You can’t give it, you can’t even buy it, and you just don’t get it!-Aeon Flux