"Future War"

[Fearless Freep]

Last night I finally saw all of Future War.  Wow!  This was bad.  I mean, I sorta  found it entertaining in a 'how stupid can they get?' kinda fascination, but make no mistakes, this is just plain a bad movie.

Basic plot:  Cyborgs from the future go to the past and kidnap humans to use as slave labor ( I think).  One human escapes to 1997 or so, and the cyborgs use dinosaurs as 'trackers' to hunt him down.  He is aided by an extra-prositute turned nun working in a halfway house (I think) and a street gang

I think the main actor, Daniel Bernhardt, went to the Oliver Grunner School Of Acting.

I will always use this movies as Evidence #1 when people say that puppet monsters are better than CG.  The use of a 2 foot tall puppet and some rather heavy forced perspective was painfully obvious, and the puppets looked like solid models bbeing waved around by a hand just offscreen  (think of kids playing with plastic toy dinosaurs...now film them up close and catch people in the distance and use this to portray 20 foot tall monsters).

I didn't know underground sewers had wooden slat  walls?

I didn't know a T-Rex could shrug off bullets but  would be vulnerable to a single knife strike to the throat?

How do labor slaves learn advanced martial arts?

LA street gangs have five to six members?

All those boxes in warehouses?  They're empty!!!

...and it goes on...


I will give credit, it was certainly creative...in a "we don't know what kinda movie we want to make so let's throw a little of everything in" kinda way.  It wasn't boring.



Post Edited (02-14-05 09:59)

[Fearless Freep]

combined with Laserblast and The Time Guardian, I had an interesting Bad Movie weekend..

[Brother Ragnarok]

Don't forget the main plot device!  The whole reason the cyborgs need to create time travel and enslave humans and dinosaurs is because...get ready for it...THEY DON'T HAVE ANY GODDAMN THUMBS!  I dunno, you figure it out.

[Mr. Hockstatter]

I remembering seeing that on MST3K.  It was quite entertaining.  Don't know if I could have made it through the regular movie though.  Kind of goes to show, if you have an extremely small budget, maybe you shouldn't get too ambitious with depicting dinosaurs, time travel, cyborgs, etc.  Just pick one of the above, not all.

[Fearless Freep]

I sorta missed the whole 'thumbs' thing.  I vaguely remember the conversation but I was programming at the time so missed some nuance of 'what are they *talking* about?'

I also couldn't figure out why the Runaway and the woman were with the cops in the first dinosaur encounter, other than so he could be there to kill it.

I'm going to have to re-watch tonight...did her ex-pimp really give her a few pouncds of coke to kill the dinos with?  Was it explosive?

Imagine the movie 'Them'...now imagine that instead of the US Army going into the sewers, it was a time traveing escaped slave, a ex-prostitute nun-in-training, some gangsters and an overweight social worker. Huh!?!  Where were the cops or the military???


Yeah...just pick a plot device and go for it...



Post Edited (02-14-05 14:30)

[Dunners]

Movie was so bad they had to substitute walls with cardboard boxes to kick cyborgs through and use bad small dino puppets to imitate large Dinosaurs.

[Conrad]

I believe Ken over at Jabootu "rips this film a new one", as the saying goes.  Thanks to his sacrifice - and yours - I need never watch it!

[Fearless Freep]

Re-watched it last night.  Picked up on the 'thumbs' thing  (that was pretty stupid. ...I mean, talk about over-engineering a solution)

Didn't quite figure out the pimp thing...gave her some money so they could buy the guns but...they ended up not using the guns really and I'm not sure what the coke was for.

If I ever hear "Four days ago, a fire fell from the sky.." again, I'll scream.

Aggh...so much stupid in this movie.