Main Menu

Remake news that will really make you sick......

Started by trekgeezer, April 14, 2005, 09:17:06 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

trekgeezer

...especially if you are a classic movie fan.

Will Smith wants to remake The Bridge Over the River Kwai. The thought of what they could turn this into is quite literally sickening.

Read the second paragraph here.




And you thought Trek isn't cool.

Deej

Finally, I've always envisioned ...KWAI as an effects laden action/comedy!!! I imagine Smith will fill the William Holden role, hopefully he'll smirk alot!!

Everyone has potentially fatal flaws, but yours involve a love of soldiers' wives, an insatiable thirst for whiskey, and the seven weak points in your left ventricle.

DJ

Flangepart

Oh, yeah...major depression here...lets hope he don't make it a muscial!

"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

raj

You're right Deej.  The one thing I've always thought Bridge on the River Kwai lacked was lots of explosions.  That and a rap theme song.

AD

You forgot the part where Will Smith says "Ohhh hell no"

odinn7

raj wrote:

> You're right Deej.  The one thing I've always thought Bridge on
> the River Kwai lacked was lots of explosions.  That and a rap
> theme song.

And lots of CGI...but don't worry, I'm sure they'll change the story so much that it won't be similar in anything but the title.

Gettin' jiggy wit' it...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You're not the Devil...You're practice.

ulthar

odinn7 wrote:

>
> And lots of CGI...but don't worry, I'm sure they'll change the
> story so much that it won't be similar in anything but the
> title.
>

Perhaps the bridge will be a metaphor for race relations in a drug infested inner city neighborhood where rich, spoiled caucasian high schoolers volunteer to 'help out.'  Will Smith can play the undercover cop posing as a drug dealer who, to protect his 'cover,' tries to undermine the efforts of those on both sides to 'bridge the gap.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Hathaway:  I noticed you stopped stuttering.
Bodie:      I've been giving myself shock treatments.
Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.

--Real Genius

odinn7

That's apossibility ulthar but I was thinking more along the lines of...
The Japanese, German, Canadian, and American armies are fighting it out over some bridge.  They see the beauty of the bridge and river scenery and decide they shouldn't fight anymore and from this point they play soccer with each other. Best 2 out of 3. Will Smith is the Goal tender on the American team and the money shot comes in when a German player comes running at him with scoring a goal in mind. Will Smith gets a comical look of determination on his face and says "Aw, Hell no..." before stopping the goal and ultimately winning it all for the Americans.  They all shake hands with each other and go back to their respective homes after crossing the bridge. It's a feel good movie about how WWII could've been. Directed by Paul Anderson of course.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You're not the Devil...You're practice.

Flangepart

"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Adrenochrome

This is horrific news!!!
I say we form a search team and rid this planet of the evil Will Smith.

"When there is no more room in Hell, the Dead shall walk the Earth."

Brother Ragnarok

Eh.  There are worse things Hollywood could do.  It's not like the original movie was exactly true to history either.

There are only two important things in life - monsters and hot chicks.
    - Rob Zombie
Rape is just cause for murdering.
    - Strapping Young Lad

Andrew

Actually, there are a number of films I would like to remake with an all midget cast.  "The Bridge Over the River Kwai" is one of them, along with "Scream" and "To Kill a Mockingbird."

Andrew Borntreger
Badmovies.org

odinn7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You're not the Devil...You're practice.

petrol lunatic

I heard somewhere that Paris Hilton was asked to be in a remake of Some Like it Hot. I know Marilyn Monroe was not a great actress, but she had personality and screen presence (and she didn't look like a crack whore), and a movie with Paris Hilton might as well star a mannequin.

and soon you will feel it
while the wind is blowing and the blood is boiling
it won't be no dream and no one will hear you scream
crawling out of the dark

Deej

Flangepart wrote:

> Okey....who plays the prison camp commander?
>


WILLIAM HUNG!!

Everyone has potentially fatal flaws, but yours involve a love of soldiers' wives, an insatiable thirst for whiskey, and the seven weak points in your left ventricle.

DJ