Scott Tissue

Menard · August 30, 2005, 08:59:20 PM

Scott wrote:

>

I don't mean to sound anal about the whole toilet paper thing,
> butt for me it's strictly..........over the top !
>
>

There is no other way.
>
>

The paper must dispense from the top !

Yes, for Scott the whole toilet paper issue is still very much alive.

He has declared that there shall be no end to this.

Let's face it, Scott has a particular interest in this issue being that he cannot walk down a grocery store isle, shopping for toilet paper, without seeing his name plastered on rolls of toilet paper.

Even though Scott has more sheets than your average roll, he still feels like the butt of everyone's jokes.

Even the mention of Scott supersize cannot alleviate that flushed feeling he gets when confronted with this very issue.

We must all band together to help Scott to put this behind him.

Go to your local store and protest the use of Scott's name on toilet paper.

Tell them that there are better places where Scott can go.

Like femine pads, for instance.

Scott could become the next Kotex.

Imagine the potential.

Rather than Kotex, women around the world can now have Scott between their legs.

This could be a new advertising slogan: Take Scott out from behind you, because a better place has been found for Scott

Won't you help?

Please begin by expressing your support for 'Scott between the legs' today.

Let Scott know that you are with him and will do everything you can to make this a reality.

Post Edited (08-30-05 22:32)

Ash · August 30, 2005, 09:37:41 PM

LOL!
Hilarious!

I actually attempted to bring the TP thread back from the dead once but it never really went on a roll like it initially did.

And Scott should check this out:
The Versatile Interactive Pan (or VIP for short) has been under development for a while now in the UK.

Check it out here.

I wonder if it'll be able to detect if a person has too many bad movies in their diet.

Post Edited (08-31-05 06:55)

Menard · August 30, 2005, 09:47:42 PM

It seems like Scott really liked that thread, so I figured I would help him out in my own way.

Ed, Ego and Superego · August 30, 2005, 10:05:36 PM

I avoid the whole over/under tissue issue by putting the roll on the counter. blessed are the peacemakers
-Ed

kriegerg69 · August 30, 2005, 11:31:49 PM

Ed wrote:

> I avoid the whole over/under tissue issue by putting the roll
> on the counter. blessed are the peacemakers
> -Ed

Oh yeah? Which end of the roll do you place on the counter?

Same difference as the "over/under" thing....

Ash · August 31, 2005, 12:34:55 AM

I could never place it on the counter....bathroom countertops & sink areas are filthy with germs.
I wouldn't be able to get that out of my head if I put it on the counter.

Menard · August 31, 2005, 02:17:32 AM

ASHTHECAT wrote:

> I could never place it on the counter....bathroom countertops & sink areas are filthy with germs.
> I wouldn't be able to get that out of my head if I put it on the counter.

Now that is truly......anal

I'd best stop before I crack up

Post Edited (08-31-05 02:19)

Ash · August 31, 2005, 03:23:48 AM

Menard wrote:

> Now that is truly......anal

> I'd best stop before I crack up

Oh God.....That is so bad!
LOL!
I'm laughing so hard I need tissue

Post Edited (08-31-05 03:28)

dean · August 31, 2005, 06:33:01 AM

Bloody hell! I knew it was a bad idea mentioning these old posts... I really shouldn't have brought it all up...

We've created a monster!

Sometimes I worry about you guys... No wonder there was a topic about men's cologne; with all your extensive research into the toilet paper industry you guys must be giving off quite the stench.

I also came across this which might add a bit of perspective on the topic:

When you know you're in trouble

or

How desperate are you?

Ash · August 31, 2005, 06:59:10 AM

Oh yeah.....cheese grater asswipe!

odinn7 · August 31, 2005, 07:41:22 AM

"I could never place it on the counter....bathroom countertops & sink areas are filthy with germs."

Well, it's not like your ass doesn't have germs too. Sure, I wouldn't want to get crap on germ infested toilet paper. Here's something for ya...wash the damn countertop once in awhile.

Now, back to the topic at hand...

I propose that we go further with this idea. Scott has his name on numerous things if you walk around the store and look. Perhaps, we could rally to also have them put his picture on all the products too. Then, along with his picture, you could have an advertising campaign that would say something like: "This product endorsed by Bill Gates look-alike".
Some other advertising ideas:
Print his picture on every sheet and use slogans such as...
Scott tissues: "Blow your nose on Scott" or "If it's snot you got, blow it on Scott"
Scott toilet paper: "Wipe your ass with Scott" or "Scott says: nice ass, baby"

I could continue this but I don't want to take the chance that Bill Gates cuts me out of his will because I was mean to him.

Ash · August 31, 2005, 07:59:03 AM

Guys.....Can you imagine unloading a bowl full of diarrhea after a long night of drinking into that sci-fi (VIP) toilet and then getting a tall 16 oz. box of "Shredded Wheat & Bran" or "special toast" in the mail a few days later?

LOL!!

Post Edited (08-31-05 10:07)

trekgeezer · August 31, 2005, 10:34:09 AM

What a malodorous subject!

Menard · August 31, 2005, 10:38:44 AM

trek_geezer wrote:

> What a malodorous subject!

Now that's a gas

Ash · August 31, 2005, 10:52:01 AM

......

Post Edited (08-31-05 21:16)