OT: A s**tty Prank

[Ash]

When I say I was the victim of a "s**tty prank", I ain't kiddin!
The pun in the title was definitely intended.

The other night, I got off work early and stopped at Wal-Mart.
War of the Worlds was released on DVD.
I bought that, and I also picked up a USB cable and paper for my new printer.

The Xbox 360 was also released and a bunch of teenagers were there jockeying for position.
I stood behind them for about 10 minutes watching them play some games on it while I was in the store.

I eventually went to the front and paid for my items.
As I exited and walked through the automatic double doors, the first thing I saw was a $1 dollar bill lying on the ground.

Answer me this first:  
Do you pick up a dollar bill, or any other money when you find it lying on the ground?
Hell yes you do!

I remember stopping in my tracks, bending down to pick it up and saying out loud, "Hell yeah!"

I bent down and as I attempted to pluck this dollar up, s**t came away on my fingers.
The squishy feeling underneath the dollar was immediate.

I put my fingers to my nose and the smell of human s**t was unmistakable!

Someone had smeared a thick layer of s**t on the bottom of that dollar and stuck it to the ground.
The top-side of the dollar was clean.

The s**t was green!
It was f**king green!
I saw it in the light.

Someone had either eaten a lot of vegetables or used that dollar to wipe clean a newborn baby's diaper.

I looked out into the parking lot.
It was full of cars because of all the X-box 360 customers.

I heard some kid laugh out loud from one of the vehicles parked in the lot.
The sick bastards!

I left the dollar where it was.

Ya, Ya...yuck it up!



Post Edited (11-28-05 04:40)

[odinn7]

Too bad it wasn't me that did it...or perhaps my wife with her tattoos.

That's actually pretty sick. This is why, before I will pick anything up that I did not drop myself, I will move it with my foot. Always have, always will.

[The Burgomaster]

You're lucky the dollar wasn't 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel . . .

[ulthar]

Interesting general comment about seeing things, picking things up and kicking things with one's foot.  When I was in LE, I participated in a few IED investigations.  In many cases, it takes a user input to explode the device; for example, in one, the victim saw a bottle on the ground and kicked it.  When she did, it exploded.

It was a common tactic in Vietnam for booby traps to be disguised as "shiny things."  I suppose it is similar to the 'social engineering' tactics used by online scammers and phishers.

Anyway, as your paranoia pushes you to kick before picking, mine has grown to the point of just leaving stuff alone.

[odinn7]

I get what you're saying ulthar. Just know that if I was in a "situation" I wouldn't be kicking anything.

[ulthar]

FYI, these situations were ordinary folks: one was a librarian, another was a Payless shoe store customer, etc.  It's not like we were in a war zone or anything (unless you call a world full of teenagers a war zone...most of these devices were pranks).

[ThadC]

Uther has the best way of thinking when it comes to " kicking, or picking up objects"... in personolized security training that is one of the first things told to new security officers, and remains a good habbit. Seen some real nasty suprises left in very inocent looking areas. Have seen some terrorist tactics using money left on the ground. On the outher hand it was a pretty funny prank... not that i would ever pull anything like that...lol

[daveblackeye15]

I don't know why but after reading this I went "AshTheCat is the poster" and I wasn't surprised when I checked it.

Yeah that is one hell of a gross as hell prank. Green!? URK!!!

I think you would have prefered this prank that happened to me during my senior year. It was pretty much the same as yours expect I saw on the floor three quarters on the ground. Me:"SWEET!" I pented down and grapped one of the characters and discovered it and the two others were super glued to the floor. But it seemed like the pranksteres were no where around to laugh at their victim. Though I did try to kick the quarters off the floor for another minute.

[Susan]

Walmart parking lot, wouldn't be suprised if it was actually used to wipe a baby's butt..if someone were actually that stupid to put something that unsanitary on their infant but idiocy is abound..tho it may have been used to clean up a "spill".  I don't know if it was a prank - because to truly enjoy a prank one must witness it. See anyone nearby in a car laughing their ass off?

Kinda makes you think back when mom would make you spit out that nickle and proclaim "Get that out of your mouth you don'tk now where that's been"

[Mr. Hockstatter]

The funniest part of the story was that the parking lot was full because of people willing to pay $400 for a video game system, and then 50 - 75 for each game.  

Next year - the $600 video game system!

[Shadowphile]

I've experienced a 'glued coin' prank as well.  It was a loonie (Canadian $1.00 coin) glued to a metal plate set in a sidewalk.  It was there for weeks before somebody pried it up....

[Zapranoth]

Or BJ nailing Hawkeye's shoe to the floor...

... so that Hawkeye literally flips himself onto his head trying to pull it on...

Nasty prank, that.

[daveblackeye15]

What's that Hawkeye prank from Zapranoth? Sounds familiar.

[Zapranoth]

From MASH.

[daveblackeye15]

I havn't seen that. I guess I what I was thinking of was an old issue of Spider-man where a villian was holding him over his head and was about to throw SM when he fired his webbing and attached it to the back of the villian's feet so that when the villian threw him SM held on to the webbing strands and the villian's legs where pulled out from underneath him and he fell.

Now that was a good one. (and that is one hell of a run on.)