Horrors of Spider Island, or I Bit the Bullet (Spoiler)

[SynapticBoomstick]

 

Well, it happened. I've been out of commission for so long and used up every other option that I could that I went and did it - I finished Horrors of Spider Island. Mind you, it was after seeing a better movie (Life of Pi), after reading the review over at 1000 Misspent Hours that revealed the German company behind it was better known for porn than horror (so the stupidity made more sense), and after consuming much fizzy sedatives. My conclusion: it's still a load of awful. A dopey chase through the woods to have the monster drown in oatmeal. The whole movie should have been about those spiders, they were goofy enough that they worked.

[akiratubo]

One of the worst movies EVER.

[Jack]

I don't think you're supposed to watch that movie for the spider 

It's dopey as can be but the babes kept me interested.

[SynapticBoomstick]

I don't think you're supposed to watch that movie for the spider 

That's what everyone there said. I never hear the end of it but nothing about the movie strikes me as remotely erotic or attractive and I just find it plain obnoxious from the dubbing to the "plot". To be clearer on that matter, I first encountered Spider Island a long, long time before I started to learn via the web community that there was a gult of soft-core "horror" films made both domestically and overseas from the 60's through the 70's.

You know I was once so naive that I didn't even know the Italian rip-off industry had been a thing. :-B

[Rev. Powell]

Hey, you used my still!

[SynapticBoomstick]

Hey, you used my still!

Crud, is that a breach? I can remove it.

[WingedSerpent]

Bad movie, sure. But it made for one of my favorite Sci-Fi era MST3K episodes ever.

[Rev. Powell]

Hey, you used my still!

Crud, is that a breach? I can remove it.

Nah, it's hosted on Wordpress servers. Just proves it's a small world.

[Gst0395]

I have to say, the design of that spider actually looks pretty cool.

[akiratubo]

I have to say, the design of that spider actually looks pretty cool.

If you have seen that still, you have seen the ONLY good thing about Horrors of Spider Island.  Save yourself some pain and don't watch the movie.

[Gst0395]

I have to say, the design of that spider actually looks pretty cool.

If you have seen that still, you have seen the ONLY good thing about Horrors of Spider Island.  Save yourself some pain and don't watch the movie.

If I do, I'll watch it with Mike and the Bots. ;)

[Chainsawmidget]

I have to say, the design of that spider actually looks pretty cool.

If you have seen that still, you have seen the ONLY good thing about Horrors of Spider Island.  Save yourself some pain and don't watch the movie.

Not the only thing.  I kinda liked the mutated spider guy.


Also, here's that spider in colorized lobby card form.

I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.

[lester1/2jr]

The girls in this movie are incredible but it really stinks. which is so unusual!

[Gst0395]

Also, here's that spider in colorized lobby card form.

I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.

That actually makes it look worse imo, though that's probably because of the blurry photo.

[SynapticBoomstick]

Also, here's that spider in colorized lobby card form.

I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.

Not the best palette choice. It looks like it has a beard, too.