OT: The language barrier, bad English translations

[trekgeezer]

I don't know if I ever posted this link before, but some of it is quite amusing.

Scroll to the very bottom for the Hong Kong movie subtitles. Here are some examples:

"I will kill you until you are dead from it!"

"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."

"Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination."


Thing People Said:The Language Barrier

[raj]

Man, I hate it when I'm caught by the short rabbits.  Real painful

[Fearless Freep]

I once told my wife "Tengo hombre" when I meant to say "Tengo hambre"

[Shadowphile]

The difference being?

[ulthar]

One has an "a" and the other has an "o."  Sheesh.  

[Fearless Freep]

"Tengo Hambre" is an idiom meaing "I'm hungry"
"Tengo Hombre" means "I have a man"

[Flangepart]

Yeah, "Tengo Hombre" should have been her line.

But, yeah. The insane concepts...like being caught by the Short Rabbits...is what makes it fun. Do the people who do these crazy translations ever get to realise what they did?

[Neville]

Once I visited my borther in law in Dublin, and with me was another Spaniard, a friend who can barely speak Enlgish, although he can understand the gist of most conversations. My brother in law was explaining the plans for the following day, and instead of saying "Your idea is great" he said "Your think is great". We're still laughing.

About the site, it's very funny. I haven't seen many bad subtitles worth mentioning, mostly because when they're wrong it is more annoying than funny, but I still remember another site that offered screencaps from an oriental bootleg of "Episode III". They actually made Yoda sound right, then reversed and misinterpreted whatever the rest of the characters weere saying. It was histerical.

Now and then we see badly translated instructions, though, as the "made in China" gizmos become easier to find in my neighbourhood. I'd say most of the time they just run their original instructions through computer translation programs, and the end result is absolutely ininteligible. I once was given one of this gizmos for birthday and I spent days, literally, not knowing what it was.  

[Jim H]

The subtitles for Swordsman With an Umbrella are the winners...

Technics anyone?

[ulthar]

but I still remember another site that offered screencaps from an oriental bootleg of "Episode III". They actually made Yoda sound right, then reversed and misinterpreted whatever the rest of the characters weere saying. It was histerical.

Yeah, that one was a riot.  Some of the stuff, particularly from Count Dooku, was blow-soft-drink-out-your-nose funny.

[peter johnson]

I have a brush in its original plastic packaging that someone sent me from Japan years and years ago.  In order to be considered really trendy and commercially desirable in the Japanese market, your labeling -- or at least some of it -- has to be in English.  This was true years ago & it holds true today.
Here, verbatim, is the wording on my brush's bag:
     
     "Brush:  Ah, you look so good to me with my eyes open wide I can see.
     Ah, it reefs so good to me.
     And it's so good when you're here'.  cause I'm tree."

You can't make stuff like that up . . .
peter johnson/denny crane

[Neville]

ulthar Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> but I still remember another site that offered
> screencaps from an oriental bootleg of "Episode
> III". They actually made Yoda sound right, then
> reversed and misinterpreted whatever the rest of
> the characters weere saying. It was histerical.
>
> Yeah, that one was a riot.  Some of the stuff,
> particularly from Count Dooku, was
> blow-soft-drink-out-your-nose funny.
>

Found it again, those interested check out this link:

http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html

[Scottie]

Here's the best:

"When a passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigor"

Gottsta love to tootle your horn with melody and vigor.

[Neville]

LOL That one is nothing short of brilliant. Can you imagina a full traffic guide written in that style? It reminded me of the instructions the Holy Grenade from the Monty Python's Holy Grail.  

[peter johnson]

My hovercraft is full of eels . . .
(John Cleese, with the Hungarian Phrase Book for Foreigners)
peter johnson/denny crane